My boyfriend always comes and picks me up and drops me off, and he pays for everything we do together. He says it’s not a problem, but I still feel bad. So my question is, how do guys really feel about paying for stuff?
We’ll always welcome offers of financial contributions, but paying for the first few dates is not only a simple (though admittedly archaic) way for guys to show off as providers, it’s the gentlemanly thing to do. And let’s be honest here: what girl doesn’t want to be wooed?
That’s not to say a dude should be presenting you with a gold-drizzled bouquet of four-dozen roses at the start of every night (though if he is, congratulations on your new stalker!), but taking care of those first few movies or light meals goes a long way.
However, it’s also a nice gesture for the lady to pay for the third or fourth date. Explain to your guy how much you appreciate his chivalry, and that you’d like to reciprocate. Your plan doesn’t have to be extravagant – lunch, a movie, or a bowling date are all fun, cheap ways to treat him. Or, you can just be firm about chipping in for whatever you decide to embark on together. Most of the time, we don’t expect you to pay – we just want you to offer. Whether your guy accepts immediately or protests for days, your efforts will always be valued.
Once you’re deeper into the relationship, who pays for what depends entirely on your own personal arrangement. For example, if your boyfriend simply has more disposable income than you, he might pay for a meal out on Friday, and you can prepare the meal in on Sunday. Ultimately, as long as he feels appreciated, a truly smitten guy should enjoy pampering his ladyfriend on a regular basis.
So wake your man with pancakes on his birthday, and go dutch at The Dark Knight Rises, but don’t be afraid to allow him to play the baller and crown you with some hot new bling-bling now and then.
Ethan Fixell is a writer and comedian from New York City best known as one half of comic “dating coach” duo Dave and Ethan. He is also the creator and editor of ActualConversation.com. For more on Ethan, visit EthanFixell.com…or call his mom, Robin.