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Any teen in high school knows that some guys and girls decide to have certain sexual experiences, while others just don’t. What’s strange is that adults who once went to high school too can’t seem to wrap their head around the simple common sense fact that teenagers have sex.
Every other day there’s a new study trying to figure out where it all begins. At what age, at what exact moment in a girl’s life does she decide to give her first hand job or have her first kiss? The real answer is that everyone has these urges, experiences and becomes emotionally ready at very different points in their life.
The problem with this kind of thinking, with trying to determine an exact age or time, is that it totally defeats the purpose. Parents want to know how long they can put off talking to their kids about sex or providing them with birth control before they have to accept the fact that you’re not mommy and daddy’s little girl anymore. There’s this horrible notion that discussing sex with teens will make them want to have sex or be more likely to have sex. The fact of the matter is that almost anyone who has a human body is a sexual being and will become sexually curious. If we wait too long to educate each other about sex, mistakes are bound to happen.
When should sex education start? Before you can even have sex. If sex wasn’t such a big deal, if it didn’t feel so loaded, if it wasn’t so taboo–there would be a lot less pressure to have it (or have it irresponsibly). Like many of us do, we wouldn’t be sitting around wondering, “I’m ____ years old, is it OK that I haven’t had ____ sexual experience yet?” Having open, honest, and informative sexual discussions will make sex feel less like a big, scary, mysterious thing.
Places like The Netherlands which have the lowest teen pregnancy and abortion rates are successful because they teach kids to think of their sexuality as normal, but also as something that requires a level of personal responsibility. Sex education in The Netherlands begins when you’re as young as five years old, in and outside of school. The lesson is never don’t have sex, so much as it is, you’re going to eventually have sex, here is what you need to know.
People of all ages deserve to have information about their bodies, how they work, and what sex is because we’re all going to do it at some point.
Here’s a look at sex education in one Dutch elementary school class.
Do you think sex education should start earlier for teens? Let us know in the comments.
Im 15 and i’ve always been willing to have sex since i was in middle school and so have all my friends, obviously not with just anybody.But I guess most girls are different than most guys.
my mom and always had an open relationship when it came to talking. we talked about everything and when sex came up in 5th grade we talked about it. i learned way more just talking to her than i ever did in school and when i got to 8th grade most of my friends had sex and i talked to my mom about it and i told her that i wanted to stay a virgin till i was ready and older and she went out and got me a purity ring. i think the dutch got it right because those kids will become moms and dads and then they can have the talk with there kids. talking about sex didnt make me want to have sex but that was because my mom had already accepted the fact that i would have sex one day so we just talked about what would happen when i got to that point. i got really lucky because i had an awsome mom who i was close to and could talk to and i feel really bad for the people that dont have that but i guess thats what gurl is for
My mom (my dad wouldn’t touch the subject, thank God) started talking to me about puberty and sex when I was around 9 or 10, and continued with more detailed explanations as I matured. I was never told any horror stories to scare me out of having sex, but it was never discussed as something trivial. No one ever tried to push me into chastity, and I know neither of my parents waited until marriage. I’m sure a lot of people would think that the approach my mom took would have caused me to have sex early, and do it with a lot of people before marriage. In reality, I’m 16 now, and the farthest I’ve gone is one kiss at 13. Furthermore, I intend to wait until marriage to have sex. I just don’t think I would be comfortable with it before. The point is, educating children (especially girls) about sex earlier, and allowing freedom to make their own decisions, will more than likely encourage responsible choices about sex and decrease the probability of being pressured into it too early.
the reason why youve only gotten a kiss is probably because youre ugly as fuck!
I find it helps if you get your mother to be open with you. And have THE TALK quite a few times. I feel it has helped me understand alot more and I’m still waiting for the right guy because i know i’m still young and i don’t care whether i haven’t really had my first kiss yet. I am not going to be a teen who just goes round using boys just because most teens have relationships.
I find if your mother like says if you have any questions i’ll answer them at any time just ask. So i do and not only does it make me learn it also strengthens our bond and makes me a “nice”/More reasonable responsible respectful teen . hehe.i’m only 15 and i think yes sex ed should be taught from a young age yet the teachers musn’t show they are uncomfortable with teaching the subject because this just tends to make some teens take the mickey of their teaching and discomfort.
I think that starting sex ed. earlier is a GREAT idea! I didn’t like how I didn’t learn about my period and puberty until after they started for me! Yes, I was an extremely early bloomer but I think it’s a great idea! I didn’t have any form of sex ed. ( meaning learning about condoms, birth control, pregnancy, safe sex, STDs/STIs, etc.) until 6th grade! I wanted my first kiss by the time I was in 2/3 grade so like when I was 8! Come on America try to be more advanced like Europe!
Xoxo M
Yeah well we Europeans don’t exactly get taught from a young age yet we tolerate it more. We do get taught when we become twelve because thats the time when most girls and boys start changing. yet we find splitting the girls and boys up and teaching them different things helps because it is less embarrassing and it is easier for the pupils to ask questions
The huge idea parents seem to push on their kids and even some sex ed classes (mine included) is save yourself for marriage. However, your kids aren’t dumb, they know the majority of the time their parents didn’t wait til marriage, so why should they? I think if kids are made to think that it’s “wrong” to have sex before marriage they’ll be more apt to. However, if you talk to your kids ON MORE THAN ONE OCCASSION instead of one time like most parents make the mistake of, and tell them hey it’s normal to want to do these things, just be smart and use protection of SOME kind they’ll probably make better, responsible decisions when it comes to sexual choices. I think it’s awesome that the Netherlands starts out sex ed so young. Being informed I believe, is key.
My Mom gave me The Talk when I asked about sex for the first time. I was 7. Mom gave me the full story then but is never shy or modest when she talks about sex, or puberty etc. This made me realise that it’s not a huge deal that I didn’t have my first kiss before I turn 16, or that I might wait years past the age of consent to explore my sexuality with someone else. My parents are the same with alcohol, they’ve offered me sips of wine, beer or cider at dinner so I know that it’s not a big deal to have any and I don’t feel under pressure to drink of get drunk before I’m 18. I was taught from early on that I need to know that facts before I try something as drastic as that. It’s my own choice to give up my virginity, drink, take drugs or smoke. My mom smokes, and has always told me that It’s my choice, not her’s, not my peers’, not my friends’. Thanks to that I’ve decided not to engage in any of that because I know I don’t have to. So many people my age (15) and younger feel under pressure to test the boudaries and break rules, because they feel like it’s necessary to break rules to ‘fit in’. Thank goodness for my parents for being open and honest with me about all these issues from such an early age, so that I don’t feel pressured to try any.
I don’t know. It might be some weird evolution thing. Because my parents say they didn’t even THINK about sex until they were like, 20.
And I’m 14 . And I have thought about sex. But I know I won’t have it because I know my bounderies, lol.
But the thing is, I’m a fairly decent teen. I get good grades, I never get in trouble, and I take care of myself. At age 11 I started getting sexual thoughts and I’m anxious to get my first kiss.
It might be a little illogical, but I believe it’s part of the theory that humans are still evolving =/
Love the articles :3
Sweetie I graduated high school as valedictorian and I had never gotten in trouble. I always said I was saving sex for marriage.. but that completely changed. you say you know your boundaries, but that’s usually until their pushed farther than you’re ready for. I don’t believe it’s evolution so much as media. There’s more sex on TV and the internet so more kids are exploring and it’s getting younger and younger.. evolution deals with the adaptation of a species to the environment… How does kids wanting to have sex deal with evolution?
I see what you’re saying.
But personally I don’t believe I will be sexually active for a long time. You might be right, maybe I won’t. But hey, it’s me.
Yes, it’s true that the media is glamourizing sex.
I don’t know, call me stupid but maybe the media is changing the environment, resulting in technical evolution?
I don’t know how to explain it, but the sure thing is that media is changing it all. That’s a definite thing.
It’s normal to have urges , that’s what puberty is (hormones…) , i’ve had them for years and i thought about sex a lot because i’m curious by nature, but i informed myself by asking my parents , my older siblings but mostly from books . Still ,i’m 19 and hadn’t had my first kiss yet nor had a boyfriend and before you think i’m ugly or stupid well, stop , i’ve done it by choice because i want to feel good when i do these things (i’m not saving myself for marriage *eye roll*). @RavenBelle my parents were as open as yours , they gave me alcohol and both of them are smokers , however i never got drunk in my life and i don’t smoke (i tried it when i was a child once, but didn’t work for me).
That’s an awesome class in the Netherlands.
What also doesn’t work in sex ed is telling horror stories about sex. Yes, it could possibly work, but do you really want to try to scare your kids out of human contact? That wouldn’t be doing right by them; the best you can do is teach them to be aware.