What You’re Really Thinking When You Get There Late

If I were always on time, I’d never need to lie. Nintey-nine percent of my fibs are excuses as to why I’m skittering into work/class/a date way later than I should be. Do any of these pretty little lies for running late sound familiar? (You KNOW they do!)

Check out some of the most notorious excuses for running late–and what we know you’re usually thinking while you say them!





For Your Babysitting Job


She said: Sorry Mrs. Kloepfer I know I’m 15 minutes late butttttt I brought Jake and Kelsy a treat: jellybeans!











She meant: I found these under the seat of my car, there’s probably more weird fuzz in this candy bag than actual jellybeans. But you probsl don’t want to hear that I’m late because I was calling into Hot 97.1 trying to win tickets to the Carly Rae Jepsen concert, now do you?








First Period:


She said: Um did anyone else see that HORRIBLE wreck on Sixth Avenue? That one that TOTALLY jammed up traffic and made it IMPOSSIBLE to be on time? Well I SURE DID.











She meant: I stayed up too late seeing Magic Mike with my sister so clearly, I owed myself an extra 30 minutes of sleep. I regret nothing.











Your First Class After Lunch


She said: Mr. Schulman! I am shocked—SHOCKED—that you think I was late because I went off campus for lunch! My BFF got food poisoning and I was totally holding her hair back in the girl’s room.











She meant: Technically I was back on time but I spent 10 minutes rooting around my purse for my Dior gloss–as if I’d walk into the one class I have with my crush with un-glossed lips. Please.










Meeting Your BF for Dinner:


She said: Sorry to keep you waiting Bunnyface, got stuck on the phone with my grandma!











She meant: I got stuck washing off all my makeup and starting from scratch after attempting an ill-advised all-white-eyeliner look. Thanks for nothing, Teen Vogue!










At Work:


She said: OMG, sorry I’m late but my boyfriend was trying to break up a dog fight and this pitbull just clamped down on his forearm!











She meant: Please please please do not have seen Ted!











Turning in an Essay:


She said: Thanks for letting me turn this in a day late, Mrs. Croskry. My Dell totally crashed—but at least the Geek Squad fixed it!











She meant: My best friend came over with Crazy, Stupid Love AND The Notebook. In what world does Wordsworth take priority over Gosling?








How often are you running late? What excuses do you give when you’re a little late, or do you just hope nobody noticed? Tell us in the comments!

Posted in: For Laughs
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  • TrendyNerdLuvMB

    LoL 8^D

    -I love these things! You Go Shallon!