Should You Talk About Porn With Your PARENTS?!

about porn

Talking about porn with mom and dad sounds weirder than it is! | Source

Talking about porn is a pretty awkward conversation as it is, but talking about porn with your parents is taking it to a whole other level.

Thing is, your parents may want to talk about porn with you (after all, they probably talk about sex, right?). Dude, we know–kinda gross and kinda weird, right? But they don’t want to talk about porn with you to be nosy, but because a lot of parents think that if you grow up looking at porn without too much knowledge about actual sex yet, it can really screw with your perspective on things. And they might be right.

When you talk to your parents about porn, don’t expect them to steer you towards one version or another–because, let’s face it, even if they do, you’re not going to listen, and as long as whatever turns you on is legal and safe, then, hey, that’s your business. But your folks may explain one really important thing about porn that you may not realize: As sex columnist Dan Savage put it, porn is “kabuki sex.”

Say what?! Bear with us. Just because porn doesn’t necessarily have kimonos and white face powder (unless you’re into that) doesn’t mean he’s wrong. Savage explains, “Sex isn’t porn and porn isn’t sex. Porn is an exaggerated, stylized representation. Bears no more resemblance to real life sex than action comedies resemble real life.”

It’s super important to know that while porn is, technically, footage and images of people having sex and being in sexual situations, it’s not that accurate a portrayal of actual sex. First off, most of us need an emotional connection to have sex–and most of us feel an emotional connection afterward, whether we like it or not. How often have you seen that on PornHub? Almost never.

Second, a lot of the portrayals of women in porn aren’t true to life. Most of us don’t have fake boobs, fake tans, fake eyelashes, or fake hair (though, unfortunately, a lot of us have fake orgasms). Most of us don’t have pizza deliverymen who work out that often and get naked for extra tips.

Third, a misconception about porn is that it’s only for dudes–so your folks may not even think about talking about porn with you. Girls watch porn too, and if you’re sexually inexperienced, talking about porn with someone else who has experience and who you trust–like (gulp) your parents–can help you have more realistic expectations of what sex is actually like. The most dangerous thing about porn is its potential to desensitize you to real sex and the feelings that come with it.

about porn

Porn is to sex as this is to real life. | Source

That said, talking about porn is inevitably going to be awkward–but it’ll probably be worth it to get it off your chest and your parents’. And we bet your partners will appreciate it later when you realize that in real life, not everyone is hung like the Domino’s delivery guy.

Would you ever talk with your parents about porn? Do you think talking about porn with your parents would improve your perspective on sex? What would you do if your parents talked about porn with you? Have you ever talked to folks about porn? Tell us in the comments!

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1 Comment

  1. avatar LocalOreo says:

    We never really had “the talk” in my family. My parents never even talked about sex to us. When we did it was only to say to save it for your husband. We don’t usually talk about stuff like that in my family. It’s like we’re not that open with each other. If you’re having problems, in my house, you either keep it to yourself or tell your friend, not your sister, brother, or parents. It sucks sometimes.

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