Ask A Guy: Should You Tell A Guy He Has A Small Penis?

Penis Size

Should you be honest with him? | Source: ShutterStock

Dear Ethan:

If your girlfriend thought your penis was small, would you want her to tell you? Do guys already know when they’re small?

Great question. Not because I can personally relate, of course – which I can’t. But, you know, having talked with other dudes who might have this problem…

For the most part, guys do know how their manhood stacks up against those of the masses. What teenager doesn’t take notice of the heat other guys are packing in the locker room after gym class? Of course, there are also scientists who study this stuff, so we can go by their findings, too.

The male genitalia can range greatly in size even within the frame of a minute detail due to stimuli ranging from sexual arousal to cold temperature shrinkage (also known as “pool penis”). So while it’s nearly impossible to compare the lengths of flaccid penises, the national average of a fully erect (human) penis is actually about five-and-a-half inches.

If you happen to be dating a guy who falls below this average, it definitely doesn’t benefit you or the guy to tell him that you think his penis is small. Doing so will only make an already insecure fella even more insecure. And if he’s perfectly content with his little friend (no matter how much it may or may not resemble a baby turtle) he’ll only take offense at your critique.

In defense of adorable baby turtles… | Source: ShutterStock

No one (except for Ryan Gosling) is perfect — think about how it would it make you feel if a guy were to negatively comment on one of your less-than-ideally sized body parts. The fact is, since he more than likely already knows what he’s working with, telling him isn’t adding anything productive to the relationship. Unless you’re insinuating that he invest in an implant, pointing his shortcoming out will only give him something to worry about.

If you are totally distracted by his weakest link, I suggest focusing on and complimenting his more positive physical traits. Rather than buying him a penis pump, pump him up with praise for his other assets, and he’ll have the confidence to think outside the box when it’s time to use that little schmecker to please you.

Good luck!

Ethan Fixell is a writer and comedian from New York City best known as one half of comic “dating coach” duo Dave and Ethan. He is also the creator and editor of For more on Ethan, visit…or call his mom, Robin.

Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “What is he thinking?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Ethan, email him at!


Do guys judge us based on what our vaginas look like?

Posted in: Ask A Guy, Love Advice
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  • Melonie

    Are you fucking kidding me? I think this is the main problem of the world. Communication. If you can’t be upfront and honest then what’s the point of being in a relationship in the first place?

  • CrazyKItty

    Just tell him the truth, but try not to laught.

    • CrazyKItty


  • Al Bailey


  • Jmeas

    7 inch is the standard. Anything smaller than that IS small.

    • Race Carrington

      wow just wow

  • Hitman

    My penis is 4 inch, but I know about good foreplay.
    Is there any chance to rejected by any girl because of my penis ?

  • jess

    i mean, when the average vagina is only like 3-4inches, even if he is smaller i don’t think it matters too much (if you’re worried about sexual satisfaction).


    The problem is that the media, porn or otherwise, has created this weird misconception about what is ‘normal’ in penis size. 5 1/2 inches is actually a pretty decent cock; the problem is that 9 inch dick in porn that it’s being stacked up against. “7 inches” seems to be this mythical standard of a ‘normal’ cock size, but I think most people, upon actually encountering a 7 inch dick, would freak out.

    The bottom line is that if you truly have a problem with any part of your partner’s anatomy, you have an obligation to both of you to either get over it or move on to someone who meets your needs.

  • Eastlady221

    Im a virgin but does it really matter, saying a guys penis is small is like saying a girl has small boobs you dont say that stuff! Keep it to yourself people have enough insurities they dont need their girlfriend pointing it out.

    • Matthew

      Men typically feel inadequate when our size comes to play. The male genitalia is looked upon to be envious or dishonored. We men feel that if we don’t please the women then we have failed in sex. I applaud you for staying a virgin, but it is hard for a virgin girl to understand our feelings upon our matter.

  • Allison

    Wow, wtf?!? Why would anyone tell their guy he has a small penis?! That’s soo mean! Being mean won’t help anyone. I’m a proud member of the itty bitty titty commitee and if my boyfriend made a comment about my boobs being too small I’d be way offended.