How Do I Tell My Boyfriend That I Don’t Like PDA?

public display of affection

What’s wrong with keeping touching private?! | Source: ShutterStock

Hey Heather,

I’ve been with my boyfriend for a little over three months. I like to kiss him and touch him and do stuff like that, but sometimes I think he overdoes it a bit.

He might smack my butt a few times or start rubbing my thighs, which I’m normally fine with… but sometimes it gets a little annoying when he has his hands all over me in front of our friends. How can I politely explain to him that I don’t like the PDA and ask him to stop?

It’s totally understandable to not be that into PDA. Being affectionate with your boyfriend is cute and super fun, but there’s nothing wrong with wanting to keep that part of your relationship a little private. It sounds like your BF either wants to show off in front of his friends, or he just doesn’t mind being really flirty in public.

This is definitely something you should talk to your BF about. He probably doesn’t realize that he’s making you uncomfortable, but once he knows, he should be more understanding.

The next time you guys are alone, just explain to him how you feel. Tell him you love being cute and affectionate with him, but you’re just not comfortable with doing it in public. Let him know that it has nothing to do with him or your relationship with him. It’s as simple as telling the truth – there’s no reason to make excuses.

And if it happens again after that? Gently push him away and say something jokingly, like, “What did I tell you about that?” He might just need a little reminder sometimes.

take care,

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Posted in: Help Me Heather, Love Advice
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  • Rockie

    I absoulutely Love PDA! i like to show off my guys

  • Alana

    One way to remind him without possibly making it awkward is to just grab his hand and hold it. It’s subtle enough to others, but if you’re already talked to him the message should be clear enough.

  • missnotperfect8

    hm, commentin. my first comment on something. kinda nervous. dont get in a hurry with yalls relationship. let it go its own way. sometime soon something new will happen between yall. not anything….. bad.