How Do You Deal With A Significant Other Who’s In The Military?

Check out what’s new on our boards! Right now, girls are talking about their boyfriends joining the military:

Babygrlk100 said:

My boyfriend just told me that he’s thinking about joining the Air Force Active Duty. At first, the plan was for him to do the reserves so that he wouldn’t be gone a lot. But now his mom is saying that he won’t be able to support us just by being in the reserves, so he wants to be on active duty so that we have more money.

I’m so scared. I’m going to be there for him regardless, but thinking about being without him for months at a time just kills me. Are there any girlfriends or wives of anyone in the military here? How do you get through it?

Got something to add to this convo? Then go for it, girl. Tell us what you think in the boards: how do you deal with dating someone who’s in the military?


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  1. avatarsteph says:

    My boyfriend and i met online a month ago.It is usually not easy to communicate because of our time differences and that hes at times tired.All we do is text although at times he doesnt reply to my texts.I can send a two paragraph mail and he replies it only with one sentence.Last week he left to where he didnt tell me and since then his calls arent going through,hes off skype,his whattsapp is unread and mails i sent are unreplied.Friends please help me i love this guy and we had made plans to see each other.Is he insensitive or is it work.I dont want to get hurt.

    • avatarDenise says:

      Hi Steph! I have the same history! Be strong! I belive its everything is gonna be ok for us! If you want, we can txt on whatsup. xx

    • avatarTyla says:

      Heyy Steph, depending on what branch of military he could be doing a field exercise in the middle of nowhere in which they aren’t allowed to have any type of device to communicate with you. My boyfriend and I communicate as much as possible since he is stationed in Japan and I understand what you go through I send him paragraphs and two days later he replies with a short answer its frustrating, but it comes with the territory. He may just be really busy or caught up with something. Definitely don’t let it slide when he does finally communicate with you check in to see what he was doing and why he was so busy, but I wouldn’t sweat it too much. Be strong girl!

      • avatarsteph says:

        Thank you Tyla.I have been trying to keep it positive despite all these bad feelings and thoughts.I tried calling his phone and it was on voicemail too.I feel so desperate.My problem is that i dont know how long his field training is gonna take and when he will be back.

        • avatarsteph says:

          Finally he came back and didnt bother to communicate.The guy treated me like trash.We broke up the same week he came.

    • avatarLynn says:

      I was worried because I’m in a similar situation. I feel totally alone because none of my every day friends understand my situation. He and I were texting while he is away, now I’m told we can only email. My heart is broken because he is an incredible guy, but I’m so afraid I’ll lose him…I mean, we went from talking daily and now it’s infrequent emails. :(

  2. avatarVi says:

    My boyfriend is currently in boot camp in Parris Island. I was scared, knowing what I was getting myself into. He always wanted to be a Marine. But that didn’t change the way I feel about him. It’s worth it, most of the time, especially in my case. The first letter I got from him I cried like a little baby, you see progress in them..growing and maturing. You also learn a little about yourself while they are gone. It’s challenging but I wouldn’t trade my marine for the world. Good luck!

  3. avatarVanellope says:

    my boyfriend was US Army, he is a platoon sergeant. We’ve met online and runnin 8mos on our relationship. We’ve been so good when we talked on skype. We both feel the affection but one thing I am bothered on, he never added me on his FB, his reason was there’s a policy on his job that he’s not allowed to add people he never met, I am not convinced though. Is there someone can tell me if its true or not? Please. Thanks!

  4. avatarTe says:

    My boyfriend is joining the Army soon. He wants to be a Army firefighter. Each time I see him I began to think about him leaving and cry but I know he’ll be great. We been together for 8 months and plan on getting engaged later down the line. He’s a gentleman and I can see myself with him for years to come. I told him I needed to finish college out before we get engaged because I need something under my belt if we do get married eventually. He respects it and I love that. I won’t let my dreams be on the back burner because of what he’s doing or where he will be stationed. I told my mom everything she said that’s good I have it figured out. Any advice for a first time Army girlfriend?

  5. avatarmadison says:

    Me and my boyfriend have been togther for a month. He left yesterday … hes in the marines. And i was like no one can feel like this. I just wanna hold him in my arms and love him. Idk …… im worryed and scared and i miss him. Hiw do you get thru the first month???

  6. avatarMaria says:

    I am kind of in the same predicament as some of you other ladies out there. My boyfriend and I started dating only a couple of days after he returned from a year long deployment in Afghanistan. He is an E-5 (Sergeant) in the Army. We have not met either yet and the distance between us has been very difficult. He had hurt himself while on deployment so right now he’s going through a lot of medical treatment. He won’t be able to go home until he’s better. I want to be there for him more than anything but for the time being all I can do is text him telling him I’m thinking of him at different periods throughout the day and talk to him on the phone in the evening. We plan on seeing each other when he gets to go home, I can’t wait. Everything will be worth it in the end.

  7. avatarmarinewife_life says:

    i have been with my man for almost 3 yrs after he commented on a post on fb lol we spoke every day all day since almost…we went our seperate ways a few times but only for a few weeks then we pick back up an keep going…none of my friends want us together cuz we never met were about to after his bootcamp training…i told him if i dealt with our troubles this long ill stick it out and wait for him i love him more then anything an im ready to be this marines girl for life and ive never dealt with it before so its all new he left sunday night its wednesday night havent heard from him yet but its early still an diff country lol he left from petersburg va im in ontario canada lol does anyone have avice or info i might need…if not can someone tell me how long mailing wait times are or why hed give me his home adress to write not the base he went to…he sounds genuine about missing me i heard him crying on a message he sent me on voxer but who knows

  8. avatarsuiz says:

    pheew…finally. pple in d same shoes as me. sometimes i feel like he doesnt care nd after goin thru all the advices i feel really bad fr being a Nag. am turnin a new leaf nd amma love my Solja till d end. distance is not a barrier..its a steppin stone.

  9. avatarShirok says:

    My boyfriend is going on a military training for 9 months.there wil be no means of communication.we have been dating for 5 scared of being away from him and its killing me knowing i wunt be seeing or talking to him i love him to death en i wil wait for him no matter what,am glad to have found this page to share with other girls going thru the me how to cope.thanx

  10. avatarAzaiinSantos says:

    My boyfriend is leaving for basic training this coming June 16th and when he first talked to me about it i was devastated I know im going to miss him terrible for 3 months not talking to him or seeing him like we do now. He’s a senior and im a junior time is ticking and i want it to slow down! But once he leaves I promised myself i’ll wait for him when he comes back i really care about him and love him dearly he’s worth the wait ❤

  11. avatarJulie m. says:

    I too am a army girlfriend..One thing is for certain..ITS NOT EASY!!! ..not one bit! You need to be there for him and support him as much as you can! When he calls don’t blame him for not being there…trust me he’d rather be home with you. Just stay positive while you talk, make him laugh, and tell him about home! Don’t forget to send pictures and be creative!! Hope I strong ladies! It’ll all be worth it once you are in your man in uniform arms again!!:)

  12. avatarJillian says:

    My boyfriend has been in the Marine Corps for a year and about a week now. Boot camp was the hardest part because sending letters wasn’t enough but seeing him every 3-6 months mostly 6 months reaally takes its toll on me. We have been dating for 2 years and about 4 months and I couldn’t think about being with anybody else because we make eachother so happy. But being away from him is the most depressing and most fustrating thing I have ever done in my life. But I am willing to wait as long as it takes to be with him. I’m even moving to a different state for college where he is deployed. I am commited because I am a proud Marine Corps girlfriend. :)

  13. avatarCharm says:

    Hello. I have a military boyfriend that I meet online. We’ve been already months. And we didn’t see each other yet in person. But he promised me that he will come visit me in my country. We text regularly as long as he’s not at work or not tired. Is that okay if I text him everyday even if sometimes he can’t reply to my messages because we have different time. What should I do? Thanks.

    • avatarTara says:

      I am in a similar situation and hope to give you some piece of mind. Me and my boyfriend met online almost 3 years ago and this past summer I flew over to his country to meet him. The ultimate thing that has helped us last is being relaxed and not putting pressure on our relationship. We count down (together) till the next day we get to see each other and it motivates us to stay strong and we know our love is strong enough. When he is tired, i send him motivational and loving texts and when he is at work I leave he messages to let him know I have been thinking about him. I promise, even if he doesn’t reply, the messages you leave mean more to him than anything. I wish you two the best of luck, xoxo

    • avatarDenise says:

      Hi Charm! I have the same history! I believe its everything is gonna be ok for us! If you want, we can txt on whatsup. xx

  14. avatarFrancin says:

    My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for three years. He went straight after high school while I was left in college for forensic science (I’m in graduate school now). He’s still in Afghanistan and long-distance relationships are in no question, extremely hard! I’ve only seen him five times (about a week at a time) in person after he was deployed. My advice would be to call, video chat, and most definitely write as much letters as you possibly can! My boyfriend will be back in May and I have never been more excited! But anyway, good luck with your relationship :) Distance makes the heart grow fonder :D

  15. avatarKelley says:

    I’ve had friends go to basic (Air Force and Marines) and my boyfriend is Army as well. Although he does ROTC, he’ll still have to go to a month long basic training two summers from now. There is no easy way of coping with someone leaving for basic training, just know that he’ll still be the same person he was when he left. Write to him as often as you can, letters to them are like Christmas. It makes them know they’re not forgotten about and he’ll write back when he can. Typically they only have time once a week to be able to write. He’ll call you when he can, it depends on how his flight does that week. They’ll take away things like that if they mess up or don’t get along. As for after basic, it depends on what his career is. Since he’s AF, there is a good possibility that he’ll stay stateside but it just depends on what their demand is. He has to go where they tell him to go.

  16. avatarVanessa says:

    My boyfriend is coming to see me in 9 days. We have never once seen each other in our entire five month relationship. He’ll be staying on and off at my house for two weeks, then at a friend’s the remainding time until Jan. 20. Then he has to go back 750 miles away. Shortly after, he’s going into basic. I’m dreading saying goodbye. I’ll be focusing more on schoolwork and spend much more time with friends and family. But I know it’ll always be on my mind. I was offered a job and may take it for the money and to keep busy. It’s good to know it does get easier, even if it hasn’t started yet. He’s 18 and I’m 16. I know it’ll be the most difficult and rewarding thing. Good luck.

  17. avatarElyssa says:

    I’m have the same problem, only our relationship is long distance, so it kinda makes everything worse. :’( If anyone has any suggestions on how to cope, I’d be very thankful.

    • avatarBirdy says:

      I have the exact same problem, my boyfriend wants to join the army and we are long distance as well. I’m dreading it but we have agreed to call as much as possible and write to each other to make it better. So try to stay in touch and let him know you are still waiting for him.

  18. avatarStar says:

    I’m in the same predicament as well. I’m placed in a Delayed Enlistment program for the Air Force, and I had met my boyfriend soon after. I told him about the USAF when we met, but now that we’re dating, it’s hitting him hard, and I ship out next year. I just want him to have reassurance that I will still feel the same, even though I am far away, and we’ll see each other again, but honestly I will miss seeing him as much as I’d like.

  19. avatarRebecca says:

    My boyfriend and my bestfriend are both in the army and both left for basic training around the same time this summer so I can share some of the feelings you’re having. They’ve both been gone for about 3 months now. It sucks! The worst part of the whole ordeal is the waiting. Often the military can be unpredictable, and often times you’re never quite sure when to expect a phone call or when you’ll be getting a letter. When you do receive (sp) letters and calls it helps, and it does get easier to cope with over time. Just keep yourself busy and the time will pass quickly! Stay strong and have faith in your relationship! It will all be worth the waiting in the end! I’ll be praying for you! (:

    • avatarBabygrlk100 says:

      Thank u so much this made me feel better :)& I’m sorry ur bf & Bestfriend left at the same time.

  20. avatarsandra says:

    Yes like all the ladie say having a strong relationship my husband burly joined. the army this April so he Burly has 5months n believe its ready hard u just need to support him and get ur self busy with school n work then later when his done with Basic Training hell call u Every dax stay strong

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