You’ve heard of girl code, right? Basically, it means that you don’t date your friends exes or crushes – unless you get their approval. The only problem with that is that sometimes, we can’t help who we fall for… and sometimes, we end up falling for that guy who is totally off-limits because your friend had him first.
We saw this topic in the message boards and we wanted to know: do you think it’s fair to say that all of your friends exes are off-limits? Once your friend is done with the dude and she’s over him, then what’s the harm in you liking him or being with him? Or is more about a respect thing? Read what these girls had to say about the topic and then tell us what you think in the comments.
Is a friend’s ex really off-limits? My close friend had a boyfriend and they went out for a while before they ended things. It was a bad breakup, and now whenever he is mentioned, she says stuff like “I hate him”, “he is a tw@t”. Baring in mind they broke up quite a while ago and she’s sort of seen other people, is it bad for me to fancy him? He’s a really nice guy, but I don’t know how she would react. Is it just a rule that you shouldn’t go near you friends exes even when you really like them? Help!
Definitely off limits!!! If you had an ex who you had a bad breakup with, would you seriously want one of your best friends dating him? Be a good friend. No guy should ruin any friendship.
You can’t help the way you feel about a person. If you like him, you like him, and you shouldn’t feel bad about that.
Given that, though, I believe that you should talk to your friend about it first, to see if it’s okay if you pursue a relationship with him. She might be seeing other people, and he might as well and she might not care, but she is a close friend and obviously still has hostile feelings towards him. Talk to her about it first, and if she isn’t okay with it I would suggest not going for it, at least not until she is fine with it.
I have to totally agree with zombie.doll on this one. Sometimes, you really can’t help who you have a crush on – so if you end up crushing on your BFF’s ex, don’t make yourself feel horribly guilty. But in my opinion, getting your friend’s approval before you pursue a relationship is the right thing to do. It shows your friend that you respect her enough to consider her feelings before you go ahead with this.
That being said, I think you should only go after the dude if you’re 100 percent positive that your friend is over him and has moved on. If she’s not over it, it’s going to ruin your friendship, and you need to seriously consider that being making a move.
What do you think? Do you follow girl code? Would you or have you dated a friend’s ex? Has a friend ever dated your ex? Tell us in the comments!