My Friends Hate My Boyfriend – What Do I Do?

my friends hate my boyfriend

Sick of them talking about him behind his back? | Source: ShutterStock

Hi Heather,

I’ve been with my current boyfriend for a few months now and I really like him… but most of my friends don’t. They’re constantly asking me when we’re going to break up and saying mean things about him when he’s not around. I don’t think he and I will be breaking up any time soon, so I really want my friends to at least start being nicer to him. How do I get my friends to be more supportive to our relationship?

It stinks that your friends are giving you a hard time about your boyfriend. Unfortunately, your friends and you aren’t always going to like the same people – and that’s okay. What’s not okay is them making fun of him in front of you. Unless they have a legitimate reason to dislike him, they should have enough respect for you to keep their opinions to themselves.

Do you know why your friends don’t like your BF? If you’ve never bothered to ask, you should. Sometimes when all of your pals don’t like your BF, it  means they don’t like how he treats you. If that’s the case, that’s a warning sign that this dude is bad news. After all, your friends love you and only want the best for you – so if they dislike your boyfriend because he’s doing something wrong, maybe you should reconsider your relationship.

Talk to your friends and be honest with them. | Source: ShutterStock

However, that isn’t necessarily the case – which is why you need to talk to your girls. Ask them straight up what they have against your boyfriend. If it’s not because of the way he’s treating you, maybe it’s because they just don’t think he fits in, or maybe they’re feeling a little jealous. If they have no real reason to dislike him, then you need to tell them to stop saying mean things about him. Explain to them that you really care about your boyfriend and you’re happy with him – and their opinion isn’t going to change that. Tell them that it really hurts you when they talk badly about him and that it would mean a lot to you if they could give him a chance. Be honest with them about how you feel about this.

Tell your friends that they don’t have to like your boyfriend – but they do have to be respectful towards you and not say things about him. True friends will change their behavior and start being polite when he’s around. But truthfully, in the end, you might not get everyone to support your relationship. Sometimes you’re going to have friends who don’t agree with your decisions, and that’s just something you need to learn to deal with. But, like I said, they should at least have the courtesy to keep their opinions to themselves for your sake.

take care,

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Posted in: Help Me Heather, Love Advice
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  • Ally

    I have a crush on a guy from work and I was thinking about asking him out. I asked my friends, who are also my coworkers, what they thought about him and they started bashing him. They said some pretty mean stuff, which I know isn’t true, and they even said that they hoped he would get fired. One girl even said that she’s been secretly complaining to the boss about him. I have no idea where they are getting this. He is a hard worker, stays extra hours to make sure his work gets done and we’ve been put on the same projects together and he has done his fair share of work. He cares a lot about the company and is a total team player – always willing to help out when needed. He’s really nice to me and all my coworkers. He buys lunch for everyone once a week and seems to get along with everyone (I thought he did). He seems really interested in me and he’s the nicest guy I know. I even learned that he does charity work on the weekends. I have no idea why my coworkers would call him lazy and say that he does nothing for the company. It makes me sad to hear them say that about him. Like I said, he is a very hard worker and never complains about anything. He really cares about the company and doesn’t deserve to be fired. I’m appalled at what these coworkers are saying about him. I’ve decided not to ask him out because I don’t want to make it awkward in the workplace but it makes me sad to hear them bash him behind his back. I’m kind of worried about what they are saying behind my back. Scary.

  • Sarah Jane

    I have a similar problem. I’ve been with my boyfriend for just over a year now and there are some of my male friends who seriously dislike him, and my BF hates my friend too. Unfortunately its not just verbal abuse and I don’t know what to do. I really really like my BF and I don’t plan to give in to what my friend is saying but some of the things my friend says about him are true, like that he should stop hurting my feelings (he disappoints me often because he doesn’t turn up for dates occasionally) . But I don’t know if my male friends view of him is bias because he used to (and still does, as far as I’m aware) have a thing for me. I’m totally stuck because my BF thinks my friend is trying to steal me for his own “use” (for use of a better word) but my friend says that my BF is just using me because its convenient for him. I don’t know who/what to do or deal with. I just want them to get along and not fight all the time. In front of me too… But. I cant choose, and I don’t plan to but I don’t know what to do. thanks xx

  • Jaylenn

    I am in the friend’s point of view. I don’t like my friend’s boyfriend, because he makes really cruel jokes towards me, and even though my friend notices it upsets me, she could care less and goes along with him. I confront her about it when he’s around, and she’ll say, “Well…” and give some sort of reason to go along with what he said, even if it’s not true. I really want to know how to deal with the situation. I don’t want to upset her or anything, because she is very happy with him. I don’t want to see her sad. He makes her happy. So what do I do?!?!

  • Reabetsoe

    My bf hates all my friends thinks thy r bitch nd nw he want me to chose

  • cutie gal

    i just found out that one of my friend have feelings for my boyfriend!!!!at first i didnt knw wat 2 do,the i took heathers advice,and now were not friends anymore!!!sometimes ur enemie can become ur bestfriend and ur bestfriend can become ur enemie!!!

  • Shewhomustnotbenamed

    One of my friends literally told she hates my boyfriend and I told her “I don’t care I like him ;)” You can’t please everyone. If they don’t wanna deal with it too bad for them.

  • Munchie

    ‘I have a boyfriend right now that some of friends don’t like. And i really like him. & So i took Heather’s Advice and the friends who agreed with my relationship are my friends and 6 of the 20 that didn’t like him are cool now. But that means they weren’t ever true anyways.

  • Little Kitten

    My friend (all) hate my boyfriend. I took heather’s advice and now I am still friends with 4 of them out of 15. I was upset but then I realized that the others weren’t real friends then and on the plus side I made friends with almost all of my boyfriend’s friends (he lost a lot of friends in the process to cause, i wasn’t liked by them).

  • Mr.Sweet and Chedderlo1

    Ch1: Most my friends dislike Mr.Sweets cause, he a neat freak!
    Mr.S: Really? 🙁
    Ch1: They learned to live with it!!!!!!