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Your virginity is your business, ladies! | Source: Shutterstock
There’s so much gossip about who’s a virgin, who’s not, who lost their V-card to whom, and on and on and on . . . but um, what is virginity to begin with?
I know you’re rolling your eyes, and being like, *duh* how can you not know what virginity is? But um, I don’t think it’s as simple as you think it is.
A lot of people think that a girl only has her virginity as long as her hymen–a membrane that partially or totally covers the vaginal opening–hasn’t been broken. That said? A lot of people are plainly wrong. Your hymen can be broken lots of ways besides having sex–like through exercise or horseback riding–so what shape it’s in really is no indication of whether or not you’re a virgin. Let’s throw that one in the trash.
Some other people think that your virginity is over the first time anything goes into your vagina. Don’t listen to these people, either! They’re dummies! Using a tampon will not make you lose your virginity, and neither will having a thorough exam at the gynecologist. Virginity is about sex–and since neither of those things are sex, neither of them affect your V-card. Simple as that.
But now we’re coming to the biggie: Since we’ve established that you have your virginity until you have sex for the first time, what kind of sex are we talking about, exactly? There are lots of different kinds of sex, and not everybody will have every kind in their lifetime. Think about it: Most lesbians probably aren’t ever going to ask a dude to enter their vagina, but that doesn’t mean all lesbians are life-long virgins!
This is where things get a little murky and you can make your own call (for some people, oral sex counts, for others it doesn’t)–but I think you lose your virginity the first time you choose to have sex where your bits down there are in contact with someone else’s down there bits. Girls can do it with boys or girls. Guys can do it with girls or guys. It’s an equal opportunity V-card ditch day!
But let’s back up one tiny bit, because I think there’s something else super important that we haven’t talked about. I said that you lose your virginity the first time you choose to have sex–and choose is a super key word. I know that some people think that your virginity can be stolen from you if you are raped or sexually abused in another way, but I don’t like to give that much power to the horrible people who commit such awful crimes. Sex is about pleasure, and to experience it fully, you have to choose to do it yourself. It’s your decision, and nobody elses. I’m not trying to downplay the horrible stuff rape survivors go through–far from it–but I firmly believe that your V-card is yours and yours alone, and that nobody can steal that special feeling that you’ll have the first time you do it because you want to.
How do you define virginity? Do you think we got it right, or are we way off base? Do you still have your V-card? Tell us everything in the comments!
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by musterbation,,,,do we lose our virginity
PLEASE HELP!!
How can you tell if you have lost your virginity? Beause i have been horse riding for almost 2 years now and i didnt know any of that stuff about losing your virginity horse riding?
im in a relationship with a guy n he wants my virginity and im not ready but i dont want to say no cause im scared he might dump n i really like this guy
its none of my business but i feel like if he is going to dump you for something that is yours he is not worthy of you. if your not ready then wait until you are! in the long run if you wait until you think the time is right it will be something you wont regret. almost all of my friends regret losing their virginity for that reason, don’t be like them. be better than them and most of society. i’m 16 and out of all my friends myself and 2 others are the only v’s left and we plan to wait until we are ready, comfortable, and positive about losing it to someone.
Okay, i don’t mean this in an insulting way, but… only three ppl in ur friend group are still virgins? that’s kinda sad.
I don’t want to lose my virginity till I have a guy I love ^_^ I want to be at-least 24 and then get married have a baby and a nice financially stabled loft and be everything I can be. I’m 14 so I know that I’ll be A-okay until my dream guy comes and sweeps me off my feet
Well thats cute u r much like me:) Have a nice day!
I think that most women dont know the blessings they will receive from God if they choose to wait until marriage. I’m a guy and me and my girlfriend are practicing abstinence until the day we get married. I know what God will find someone for you if you can wait patiently. Dont worry about what people will say to you. God will reward you with his blessings. Stay strong
this is the most amazing thing ive seen from a guy in forever. i applaud you.
I am still a virgin each tym i com to my guy’s place he will always demand 4 sex but i say no to that after some days he said i should stay on my own and now i dnt knw what to do.
I was force into having sex at 19 and when ever I remember it I feel so bad,bt in my mind I stil see ma self as a virgin
I’m still a virgin, but also I’m only 15:)
you cannot pop your hymen! it is a proven fact, look it up the hymen does not completely cover the vagina so it cannot “pop” or “break”
Some womens hymen does cover all or most of there vagina.. Look it up!
I’m glad it says “choose” here. The first boyfriend I tried getting intimate with told me he didn’t want to have sex with me because I wasn’t a virgin. I was raped by a family member when I was sixteen, and he knew that, and never said anything rude about it until then. Lots of girls don’t choose.
Hi! Yes! This is virginity! I still have my V-card and I’m 16. It is ok for me. A guy wanted to have sex with me but I refused and he broke up with me and I really think that he is not a man because he did this. Whatever
The point is that my parents think that virginity is if the hymen is not broken and if it’s broken even if I didn’t have sex they’ll say I have had sex and then I’m in trouble. I didn’t had sex or put anything in there… Can a gynecologist say If I have had sex with a boy or not? So that my parents see that I am not like they think?
I don’t get why girls like 16 -17 yrs want to lose their virginity… I wait untill I’ll get married…so I could be happy knowing that as a mom… I didn’t act slutty when I was younger. Still- first time is memorable!!
I still have my V-card but its really hard sometimes because I’m in high school and people talk about it all the time and its like i just want to get it out of the way and over with but i can never find that special person. Sometimes i get scared that I’m gonna end up alone because i cant find anybody to give it up to because their not so important.
I guess that’s true…Nuzz even though some things happened with me…I still consider myself to be a vigin…Nuzz it wasn’t my choice…..
I’ll be 32 next month (11/15/12) and I’m still a virgin. I hate it, I want to have fun, but I’m not about to just give myself over to someone who I don’t love and who doesn’t love me.
Be glad. Nuzz once it’s gone, you don’t get it back…
Ima virgin in my mind because ive only been gavin oral but ima bouta be 16 in two days and have been in a off and o relationship for nine months and ive been wondering is this a good enough relationship to lose my virginity in?
I’m still a virgin and im proud that i have that gift to give to whoever i choose.
Hmmm…
My “cherry” isn’t popped yet, I’m sure of it, but I once did something very naughty with my sweetie. He kissed my “other” lips.
But we swore to each other we will wait for the wedding night for the real thing, if that ever happen. (I hope it would. He’s my first and greatest love.)
I think loosing your virginity is more the mental state of things:’). I mean, one night I got drunk and there was this boy there and i decided ” may as well get it over with” .. things started happening and one thing led to another:L.. It was really painful for me, so , as I told him to stop, it didnt go on for very long. I still see myself as a virgin because really, the only thing that happened, was my hymen broke:L, in my head I’m still a virgin.. All my friends a part from maybe 2 disagree with me:L but seriously.. that doesn’t count as a first time, not for me anyway… I’ve decided that my ‘virginity’ is now going to wait for someone special:)
i do belive it is your state of mind, but you consented to have sex with him at the party at first, and he broke your hymen. it was still sex.
I still have my v card.
I want to lose it when i meet the right person who i will spend the rest of my life with.
Corny huh? that special someone?
Who am i kidding, i will probably settle less.
I have very high expectations and i notice every flaw.
Why can’t i find a suitable person for me? that is the story of my life.
I am the same way but you should never settle for less, especially if it makes you un happy. that special someone supposed to make you beem with joy and it should only be him. not someone less
I don’t think that’s corny i think that’s smart cause i’m not doing any thing until i’m married that’s how its so-posed to be and that’s how it will stay. Don’t let people put pressure on you God will find the One in time.:)