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I kind of wish we never met him… | Source: ShutterStock
You know that saying “chicks before d*cks”? Well, let me tell you something, ladies: it’s true. You should always choose your friends over boys (okay, fine, except in a few circumstances), and I unfortunately know this from firsthand experience. I made a huge mistake and lost one of my best friends over a dude – and I wish I had done things differently. Read my story and hopefully it will stop you from picking a boy over your BFF.
When I was in high school, I was best friends with a girl we’ll call S. We were more like sisters than besties – we hung out every single day and knew everything about each other. I felt more comfortable with S than I did with any other person on the planet. We had millions of inside jokes, we always knew how to cheer each other up and we could have fun anywhere. I thought we were always going to be BFFs… until one of my worst nightmares came true: we started fighting over a guy.
His name was D, and I had known him first. We went out for a little while, but then I broke up with him. Even after we ended things, I still liked D and I knew we would get back together at some point – but for some reason, I kept my feelings to myself.
One day, I grudgingly introduced D to S. Why grudgingly? Well, as much as we loved each other, S and I had always had a super competitive friendship. I was always a little jealous of her – she was very pretty, flirty, confident and outgoing. Guys loved her and she knew it. I was terrified that D would fall for her and that she would fall right back.
This was basically us | Source: ShutterStock
As soon as D met S, he started flirting with her. For the first weeks of him pursuing her, S asked me over and over again if I still liked him. She said if I didn’t want her talking to him, she would stop. But for some reason, I insisted that D and I were just friends and that I wasn’t interested in him anymore. I’m not sure why I kept the truth from her, but I think I just felt vulnerable about my strong feelings and didn’t want to share them with anyone.
In the end, lying to her came back to bite me in the butt. A few months after they met, S started dating D. When I found out, I was devastated. It literally felt like my heart was breaking. Even though I had told S I didn’t like D, I knew that deep down, she knew the truth. She had gone behind my back and dated my ex, essentially breaking the girl code. I didn’t even consider that it was partly my fault for not coming clean about my feelings.
For a while, I continued to hide how I felt. Hanging out with the two of them was torture for me, but I decided to suck it up and just try to get over D. I didn’t want to lose my best friend and I knew that if I confessed, I would. But one night, the truth finally came out: I admitted to S that I had still been crushing on D when they started dating. She admitted that she had kind of known that, apologized a million times and told me that if it was too hard for me, she would stop bringing him around. Once again, I lied and promised her I didn’t care.
But my crush on D didn’t go away… if anything, it got worse. A few months into their relationship, D and I started getting close again. We talked for hours and flirted constantly. I started distancing myself from S. I felt guilty about flirting with her boyfriend, but at the same time, I thought she deserved it. After a few weeks, D told me he liked me, and I said I liked him too. He broke up with S, and we started dating.
I totally missed doing things like this | Source: ShutterStock
Obviously, S and I stopped being friends. She was furious at me, and I was still mad at her for dating him in the first place. The worst part was, I wasn’t mad at D at all. Even after he confessed that he was purposely ruined our friendship because he liked us fighting over him, I kept dating him. I wish I could slap my 16-year-old self in the face for that!
As much as I loved being with D, I missed S even more. I spent years crying over the fact that I couldn’t call her or hang out with her. I spent all of my time with D and didn’t have a best friend to fall back on – honestly, it sucked. After we broke up, S and I tried to reconcile, but our friendship wasn’t even close to the same and it never will be. I don’t exactly regret my relationship with D, but I know now that our relationship wasn’t worth losing S over. We fought constantly and he made me miserable most of the time. Sometimes, I still miss S to this day – and I know that if I didn’t pick D over her, I never would have lost my best friend.
Have you ever picked a boy over one of your friends? Have you ever been caught in a love triangle? Tell me in the comments!
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I’ve never chosen a girlfriend over a bf but that’s because I balance them equally. My bf’s really sweet! His names Matt and we were best friends at first but then one night, this happened:
Matt: I like this girl but I don’t know if she likes me back. What should I do?
Me: Follow your heart…
Matt: What do you think my heart says?
Me: I dunno… I’m not your heart…
Matt: But you’re most of it…
I blushed then smiled at him. Right before I knew what was happening I was so happy that… I KISSED HIM. It was my first kiss and we’ve been together for 3 years since then… (:
so i dont no i guess im looking for advice… i messed up big time my friend K. she was like my sister you know for like 13 years. well her and this guy R, dated and broke up she said she was done but i should have known how she really felt… i was stupid and slept with him..i shouldnt have believed his lies… thats no excuse though. but its been since 2 months? and she just found out.. i couldnt face her i just couldnt do it cause i knew i would loose her so i was going to wait cause she had just recently told me she still loved him so i dont shes obviously very upset and i mean i feel really guilty since it happened but i wont go into those details but she just said she doesnt know what to do with our friendship.. i guess im asking on advice with what to do now? what else should i tell her… i dont know what to do
I the same experience…I have a best bud named W we always hang out but then a girl named J came in to our life which ended our friendship.J likes me and i like her back but she also likes W.We all started to hangout and i always treat J better then W.W who might have felt extremely jealous kept trying to pull us apart and when i found out he was doing this we had a big argument and he blurted out he did not care about us anymore(Me and J).The best friend I ate with, sleep with just broke up cause of one girl whom liked us.We were all like brother and sister and all of this just disappeared. missing W alo
When I was in highschool I had a best friend, T. T went out with this really sweet boy who did everything she asked and bought her everything she wanted. He absolutely adored her. One day however, she walks into school holding hands and flirting with her guy ‘friend’ B. Her boyfriend, N, was upset but he eventually went back to adoring her. Whenever he did something she considered embarrasing she would threaten to dump him- basically she wasn’t very nice to him at all. On the day of their five month anniversary she broke up with him after getting her presents but before giving him his. He was devastated because no one had seen it coming. Now, T and I were like sisters- my family was like hers (she lived with her aunt) and we were joined at the
hip. After she broke up with N she all of a sudden hated him- but N and I were still talking, and T and I’s other best friend L were too. She got mad at only me for talking to him and we eventually ended our friendship. Now, though, I’m glad I did it. N and I are still friends and have been for years now, and he’s a much better friend then she ever was.
I would never date a best friend’s ex because they could have some undiscovered feelings left over (also it’s just kind of wrong), I don’t feel sorry for people who have friends that have this (the above) happen to them. You never told your “best friend that was more like a sister” that you still liked him- it was your fault.
Instead of saying always put girls before boys, how about trying to put the truth before lying? You could have saved your relationship with her and never have gone through what you did. She was your best friend, she would have understood if you still liked D.
My friend got a hot bf last year. We hardly ever talk anymore because he is the only person she hangs out with. I understand that it is her first bf but when she isnt with him, she pays no attention to you because she is constantly smsing him. Our great friendship that we had is now over. Maybe i will understand why she is like this when i get my first bf.
I have this issue with one of my best friends. She had a boyfriend & I don’t. She chooses him over me in every situation. In fact, she doesn’t even talk to me anymore. I thought we were great friends & stuff. I’ve ALWAYS been there for her & it’s like she doesn’t even care anymore. She dated this guy before & he was a total jerk & he insists that he’s changed, but I don’t think he has. I told her to not date him again because chances are he’ll be the same person again. But none of that stopped her. They’ve been dating for 3 months & she thinks she’s in love at 14. We don’t speak to each other any more but I’d love to she just won’t. I miss her so much & will always love her as a sister because I’m that good of a friend. I will always be there for her & that’s it. I just want my best friend back…
“I knew that deep down, she knew the truth.” This statement bothers me, because I’ve heard it in real life. If you lie to people and, like in this case, insist that you don’t like the guy, why should they feel obliged to be your mind readers? If you keep insisting you have no feelings for a guy when a friend is asking, you are basically saying “Go ahead and date him”–because why else is your friend asking if you’re crushing on him?
Girls need to learn how to be honest. If you’re going to keep your feelings inside from your BEST friends, you will get hurt, and there’s really no one to blame but you.