You know that saying “chicks before d*cks”? Well, let me tell you something, ladies: it’s true. You should always choose your friends over boys (okay, fine, except in a few circumstances), and I unfortunately know this from firsthand experience. I made a huge mistake and lost one of my best friends over a dude – and I wish I had done things differently. Read my story and hopefully it will stop you from picking a boy over your BFF.
When I was in high school, I was best friends with a girl we’ll call S. We were more like sisters than besties – we hung out every single day and knew everything about each other. I felt more comfortable with S than I did with any other person on the planet. We had millions of inside jokes, we always knew how to cheer each other up and we could have fun anywhere. I thought we were always going to be BFFs… until one of my worst nightmares came true: we started fighting over a guy.
His name was D, and I had known him first. We went out for a little while, but then I broke up with him. Even after we ended things, I still liked D and I knew we would get back together at some point – but for some reason, I kept my feelings to myself.
One day, I grudgingly introduced D to S. Why grudgingly? Well, as much as we loved each other, S and I had always had a super competitive friendship. I was always a little jealous of her – she was very pretty, flirty, confident and outgoing. Guys loved her and she knew it. I was terrified that D would fall for her and that she would fall right back.
As soon as D met S, he started flirting with her. For the first weeks of him pursuing her, S asked me over and over again if I still liked him. She said if I didn’t want her talking to him, she would stop. But for some reason, I insisted that D and I were just friends and that I wasn’t interested in him anymore. I’m not sure why I kept the truth from her, but I think I just felt vulnerable about my strong feelings and didn’t want to share them with anyone.
In the end, lying to her came back to bite me in the butt. A few months after they met, S started dating D. When I found out, I was devastated. It literally felt like my heart was breaking. Even though I had told S I didn’t like D, I knew that deep down, she knew the truth. She had gone behind my back and dated my ex, essentially breaking the girl code. I didn’t even consider that it was partly my fault for not coming clean about my feelings.
For a while, I continued to hide how I felt. Hanging out with the two of them was torture for me, but I decided to suck it up and just try to get over D. I didn’t want to lose my best friend and I knew that if I confessed, I would. But one night, the truth finally came out: I admitted to S that I had still been crushing on D when they started dating. She admitted that she had kind of known that, apologized a million times and told me that if it was too hard for me, she would stop bringing him around. Once again, I lied and promised her I didn’t care.
But my crush on D didn’t go away… if anything, it got worse. A few months into their relationship, D and I started getting close again. We talked for hours and flirted constantly. I started distancing myself from S. I felt guilty about flirting with her boyfriend, but at the same time, I thought she deserved it. After a few weeks, D told me he liked me, and I said I liked him too. He broke up with S, and we started dating.
Obviously, S and I stopped being friends. She was furious at me, and I was still mad at her for dating him in the first place. The worst part was, I wasn’t mad at D at all. Even after he confessed that he was purposely ruined our friendship because he liked us fighting over him, I kept dating him. I wish I could slap my 16-year-old self in the face for that!
As much as I loved being with D, I missed S even more. I spent years crying over the fact that I couldn’t call her or hang out with her. I spent all of my time with D and didn’t have a best friend to fall back on – honestly, it sucked. After we broke up, S and I tried to reconcile, but our friendship wasn’t even close to the same and it never will be. I don’t exactly regret my relationship with D, but I know now that our relationship wasn’t worth losing S over. We fought constantly and he made me miserable most of the time. Sometimes, I still miss S to this day – and I know that if I didn’t pick D over her, I never would have lost my best friend.
Have you ever picked a boy over one of your friends? Have you ever been caught in a love triangle? Tell me in the comments!