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What do they really want?! | Source: ShutterStock
Dear Ethan,
How much does a girl’s weight matter to guys? I feel like I’m always overlooked because I have a few extra pounds on me. Do all guys want a really skinny girl? Do they care about weight at all?
There will always be men who are into petite or lanky ladies, but not all guys want a “really skinny girl.” In fact, some dudes actually prefer a woman with extra curves!
Generally speaking, it’s probably safe to say that most guys favor the “hourglass figures” of Scarlet Johannsen or Beyonce. But although these superficial inclinations are rooted in primitive biology (i.e. waist, hips, and breasts sized for optimal child-rearing) the female “ideal” is constantly changing within our culture. Just look at the pinups of the 1950s, or the stick-thin “heroin chic” models of the 90s – you won’t find either body type walking today’s runways.
Curvacious super-hotties such as Sports Illustrated cover model Kate Upton continue to represent our ever-evolving perceptions of physical beauty. Critics may attack her waist size or weight as atypical for a bikini babe, but that doesn’t keep guys from drooling at the mere sight of her — trust me.
The majority of men may not seek out overweight girls, but in addition to the smaller group of men who do appreciate larger ladies, there are also plenty of deeper guys who value women for more than just their bodies. If you’re patient and you feel good about yourself, eventually you’ll find a dude who’s not only turned on by your confidence, but will want to know who you truly are underneath those “extra pounds.”
Good luck!
Ethan
Ethan Fixell is a writer and comedian from New York City best known as one half of comic “dating coach” duo Dave and Ethan. He is also the creator and editor of ActualConversation.com. For more on Ethan, visit EthanFixell.com…or call his mom, Robin.
Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “What is he thinking?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Ethan, email him at askaguy@gurl.com!
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All of us are equal and were beutiful inside and out
I have struggled with my weight for a while and nothing I do seems to work and I can’t find a guy to like me as more then friend I just need some advice I hate myself when I start talking about how fat I am or excersize should I just wait for someone who will accept me the way God made me.
Any guy who wld only date a girl bcause of her weight is a jerk.
I hate that people are judged by their weight. I play on three sports teams at the moment and im about 30 lbs overweight. And i still cant get myself to even CONSIDER going anywhere near a bathing suit, i wish i wasnt so insecure but i feel so big trying on clothes esp. Dresses made for girls with supermodel bodies. Guys will always notice a girls weight but the real men are the ones that wont let your few extra pounds weigh down your relationship. Stay strong sisters!
Um Ethan, Kate Upton is NOT curvy, by any means. Does she have nice tits? Sure. But she is not curvy. She would certainly fit into the sizings for a bikini.
I come from a school of bullies and jerks and was teased about my wheight from 4th grd up till now which I will start homeschooling and I wore a black jacket every day 1 guy I thought was nice was actually just a jerk he would talk to me but only if I talked to him first his friends always had teased me only what made it really bad was he led me on untill I found out he also was talking about me behind my back I was absolutely avoiding sports because every person on the team thought someone overwheight would only make the team do bad even though I was pretty good at many sports now i’d propably kick and scream before I would go back to Sandusky Schools (MI) now I know they only teased me because they feel bad about themselves but that wont make me forgive anyone
I’ve always been worried about my weight but not really because I’m worried about what boys will think. I’ve just been worrying that if I can’t control my weight I will end up obese as an adult. However, lately I’ve realized that as long as I feel good about myself that probably won’t happen and the reason I am heavier than some of my friends is because I am a good 3 to 5 inches than some of them.
Wow, this has been helpful! The comment about the picture that was used for this article is sort of right though I mean , I am tall for a girl (about 5″8) and I have very large bones , I can say that weight looks different on me because my skeleton alone is huge WITHOUT the extra pounds I mean my hands are larger than my father’s and my feet are the highest they go in women’s shoes. I was built to be this way and I know it because my family on both sides are full of tall, Amazon type women, lol. This helped me feel better as in the end, even if I was as skinny as I can be , I STILL would be at least a size 12.
You sound just like me! Except I’m 5’11. I always used to be like I’m so fat! I used to be so insecure, not so much now, but its still there. My mom told me I had big bones, i didn’t believe here. Until one day I actually looked at my arms, wrists, and my legs. It was like all bone, even if i did lose some weight, my bones aren’t going no where. Same with my feet. I’m so embarrassed about my feet. I’m a size 12 as well, & having all you friends just over 5 feet is hard. Someone I talk to someone is about 5’8 with I size 12 1/2 shoe size. It’s just so hard especially since I am in a high school. No one bullies me because I hide my insecurity, and at school no one really bothers me Too much because they think i’ll hirt them.No matter who you are everyone goes through similar even worse cases. Since I live in a small town, I’m the biggest in my class probably 30 pounds overweight. Now I know there is someone like me!
Thanks
I honestly don’t care what a guy thinks of my weight. If a guy is that shallow not to date me because they think I’m too think then that’s their loss. and If I’m in a relationship and my boyfriend says that it’s his personal opinion that I’m overweight or underweight then that’s his problem and it’s time for me to leave because apparently he doesn’t value me for who I am on the inside.
Some guys are so STUPID. All they care about is how their girlfriend looks. They try to impress their mates. Any guy that is like that is an immature jerk. So what if your fat? You shouldn’t be judged by size, but by the character and content of your personality. And some guys refuse to get to know you if you are not pretty enough.
These think really do help cuz i am bigger then most girl nd this really makes me think > thanks
I know that it is ridiculous but it is what it is, boys do judge girls by how much they weigh or at least what they look like they weigh. I have some thick friends and they get picked on because they are what you call “fat”, one of my friends was even turned down by a dude because she was “fat” or “not skinny enough”. I personally can’t relate to a situation to where guys think im fat but i know it hurts alot. Guys just need to understand that there is more to a girl than her apperiance, but it’s a shame they don’t….
I agree with Jaime. If the person won’t date you because of your weight, then they don’t deserve you anyway. Be happy with who you are. If you think you’re beautiful, then you are – no matter what other people say. Besides, every girl is beautiful, no matter what size/weight they are.
If a guy reallly likes you, he won’t care about how much you weigh.
AMEN <3
It’s completely opposite where I live. I’ve always been petite but guys go for all the bigger girls and that led me to BED (binge eating disorder) I would eat and eat until it hurt but I would still go back for more. It’s annoying with how all guys seem to just want you for your body, It can’t just be for my personality.
Thank you so much Ethan! xx
i don’t think love is a matter of the flesh! sex is love isn’t!!! i want a husband who’s gonna love me 4 who i am, no that i’m really skinny!
I would just like to make a comment about the photo used for this article.
If you look at the different sizes of girls, you will notice that their arms an bone structres are mostly all the same size, and it’s just their middles that keep getting bigger and bigger. I think it’s important to remember that being a different size is more than just fat. It also has to do with your bones and muscles and what size they are natually. There are some people who have a certain body structure that keeps them “thin”, but often their breasts and butt will also be small (unlike the girl in blue). There are also some people who are very small and muscular, and some that no matter how much they work out they will always have a soft belly because genetically that is just what happens to them.
(And it is important to remember that no matter what your body type, you should ALWAYS keep up a healthy diet and exercise. Never think “Oh, I’m genetically this way, so I shouldn’t think there can be change.” Because even if you’re super small or super big, it’s always important to be healthy.)
So in respect to this photo, I think it’s unrealistic and does not support the point of the article. They all have proportions that do not reflect real diverse body types. When the waist is small, the arms are often small. An when the waist is large, the arms are often large. If there is an isolated spot that is large, it is most likely not genetic.
In my personal opinion, any person who won’t date another person because of their weight isn’t a person worth dating in the first place.
that is soooo true !!! i totally agree !!!