Boards
Road trips are like a really hard gym class—they seem like a great idea until the novelty of it wears off and then you’re like WTF why did I do this? Even worse, when you’re trapped in a car with your fam, you can’t always be your usual oh-so-honest self…
Seating Arrangements
She said: Mom, why should Kylie get to sit shotgun, you know I get car sick in the back seat!
She meant: The six bags of candy I eat every road trip ensure that I get sick. Sooooo worth it to sit in the front!
Another Pit Stop
She said: Um yes I have to pee again, Jeez. What, I’ve been drinking a bottle of water…
She meant: Pfft, I could totally hold it. But I’m getting like, zero reception right now and if I don’t download this Flo Rida song that’s stuck in my head I’m going to lose it.
Rolling Down the Window
She said: Shut up Kylie, your hair is fine it’s not like we’re seeing anyone for the next six hours. I’ll roll the window down if I want to!
She meant: Heeeheee I feel like the piglet in the Geico commercials. Weeeee! Wee wee weeeeee!
Ulterior Motives
She said: Daddy you should probably get gas there, I think it’s the last station for a super long time…
She meant: And OH LOOK it just happens to be next to that outlet mall! What a completely random, unplanned coincidence!
Entertainment
She said: Yes Mom, of course I’m listening to your story about that time Dad locked himself out wearing only his boxers. No I’m not texting. I’m just looking at my phone to make sure it’s…not…um, roaming.
She meant: Adults can be so adorably gullible.
Souvenirs
She said: Oooo that “I Put the Ass in Vegass” hat is sooooo hilarious but I think I’m just going to save my money…
She meant: Yeah…so I can fly back home!
What was the last road trip you were on? If you could go on a road trip to anywhere, where would you go? Tell us everything in the comments!
Funny But True Things You Should NEVER Tell Mom!
Can You Trust Him?
Mom: mumble mumble mumble
Me: *takes headphones out* What?
Mom: what are you doing?
Me: listening to music
I meant: drowning out your oldies soft rock and brother’s extremely heavy breathing
None of these are true >.> I’ve never found ANY of these “what you’re really thinking” articles to be accurate and they all seem to show women as petty, shallow and stupid. It bothers me.
I agree
My friend went on a family road trip with her two siblings and both of her parents from central Texas to northern Louisiana. The result? She was ready to bite her brother’s head off. He’s a year older and he sits in the middle of the back seat with his knees as far apart as possible XD
I said: Yeah sis, I don’t mind feeding the baby while I’m in the front seat and he’s in the back
(mind you that she is 30 years old and I am 15 and the baby is my nephew)
I meant: I need something to distract me from your crabby mood and this gives me the perfect opportunity to do just that
I said: No mom, I’m totally paying attention to the scenery! It’s sooooo beautiful!
I meant: I’m watching DVDs on my laptop and this backseat is super spacious. I’m going to sleep. Wake me up when we hit the next city.