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Everything about your sweetie from the sound of his voice to his gorgeous eyes leave you in Swoon City. But, um, why is he talking to that skank? And, er, who’s the new blonde chick with cheap extensions all up in his Facebook page? Does he really have to be BFFs with a Ke$ha lookalike?
Slowwwww dowwn, hot stuff. You are in the JDZ, Jealousy Danger Zone. Luckily, we caught it early and you can inch your way back to the other side of the street (also known as SANITY) when your pride, dignity and sense of self-worth intact.
Jealousy can be confusing. We wonder, isn’t it totally natural to feel a twinge of the green monster when you love someone? Well, sure, we all feel a tad obsessive at times regarding the folks we love. However, when we’re secure in ourselves we don’t feel a need to act on these twinges.
Insecurity is never sexy– and being the jealous girlfriend is about as insecure as you can get.
Here’s how NOT to become the jelly-girl that guys–and girls–can’t stand.
1. Believe in yourself.
It’s no miracle that your crush likes you back. You’re quite a catch, girlie. With everything that you bring to the party, who wouldn’t like you? You’re the shizz and it’s time you knew that.
2. Trust your BF or GF.
All relationships are built on trust. Give your love life a strong start by picking someone who seems trustworthy to begin with. If you’re dating the school player then you may be setting yourself up to be played. If you’ve chosen someone worthy of all of YOUR fabulosity, then you should trust that they have eyes for only you.
3. Talk it out.
Communication is KEY to romantic happiness. If something your sweetie is doing makes you uncomfortable, speak up! It’s normal and healthy to ask questions. It’s NOT healthy to obsess or repeatedly accuse someone of cheating or other love misdemeanors, however. If you don’t trust the person you’re dating, it’s better to move on that to go all Jealous Jessie. I know you know what I mean.
4. Social media is for socializing, not stalking.
Repeatedly scanning somebody’s Facebook or twitter account for conversations and connections is unhealthy. Being in a relationship doesn’t mean becoming a detective. If you feel that you have to investigate your BF then something is wrong.
The bottom line: jealousy ain’t cute! Being secure within yourself means being secure within your relationship. Always remember that confidence is the sexiest trait you can have. Oh, and if you’re dating someone who goes out of his way to make you jealous on purpose, RUN, girl, RUN!
Have you ever been a jealous girlfriend? Do you know any girls who are a jealous girlfriend but don’t realize it? Do you have trouble trusting your boyfriend? Tell us everything in the comments.
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So my story is weird and I can already imagine the comments but this is something different in my life. So I’m 21 and am in a relationship with a 34 year old man. I love him and we’ve been together for almost a year and known each other for over 3 years. I knew this before we decided to get together but I wasn’t planning on getting serious then and now I’m strung but he believes in polyamorous relationships (more than one female). And his job consists of him having sex with other women when he auditions them for low budget short films. It’s an audition but it still makes me insanely jealous to think about. For the 9 months we’ve been together he hasn’t done these auditions and hasn’t been with any other women sexually so maybe thats why I got so comfortable. BUT now audition season is here and he’s going to start soon. He’s Also going to start being sexually active with his other girlfriend that he’s been with for 4 years but stopped being sexually active when we started dating so that I could warm up to it all. but I havent been warming up, I’ve been getting used to a monogamous relationship. Everything is about to change but I’m really in love with him and his feelings havent changed for me, he’s still very loving, and takes complete care of me. He only distances himself from me when I get really jealous and start to talk badly about his other girlfriend when he goes to see her. He tells me all I have to do is trust him because his love for me will not go away as long as I behave maturely about everything and keep trusting him. So I just want to know, if he keeps his promise and still gives me time and love and takes care of me and never falters, should I have no reason to be jealous or upset when he does these auditions and gets new girlfriends?? And HOW can I make myself less jealous because he put a marriage offer on the table and told me to decide when I’m 23 whether or not I would want to be in a polygamist marriage with what will eventually be 12 women. No more no less. (he’s not Mormon) So yeah am I crazy for considering this or does what he says make sense? Please try not to be bias because of the American culture (because I am American, always have been) we’re used to in our society about these ideas I want a 100% logical answer if anyone can give one. Feels good to get that off my chest.
Hello!
I`m 21 and my GF is very very jealous. I just do not know how to deal with her any more. We have been going out for 5 years and her jealousy is getting worse. She always tells me that I am looking after other girls and that I have a worrying way of talking with attractive girls. She is literally stalking me, always checking my phone, she keeps asking me to call her every 2-3 hours when i am at home and gets pretty mad if i don`t. I do not know what to do, i love her and i don`t want to break up with her, cut I can`t stand it any more. She knows how i feel but she told me that she can`t trust anyone and she cant`t help it. And by the way we are both students and take the same classes and we are pretty much all day together. I need your advice please help me somehow.
My gf is my first gf and she is jealous and doesn’t trust me in the least. I have no junk in the trunk or any skeletons in the closet yet I can’t even have a female friend because that’s “wrong”. She has had previous boyfriends but I have never had a gf before her. 3 year we have been going out now and her jealousy is probably worse than ever. We have been doing long distance for 7 months now (we have seen each other at least once a month) and I can’t stand it. I am a faithful guy who would never do anything to compromise the relationship we have. However, if you accuse someone of something, eventually that will happen. It is no threat. But I will not marry this girl if she doesn’t do something about this green monster.
My girlfriend is jealous. 4 years in and I’m still not worthy of her trust. I do nothing wrong, but her insecurities are killing our relationship. I have tried everything and I’ve come to the conclusion that I deserve better. She cheated on her ex in the past and I think that is the reason she can’t trust anyone herself. If you aren’t over your past problems, please don’t toss them on us nice guys. Being jealous is a surefire way to lose a good guy- fair warning.
I’ve been married 3 months now but my jealousy has only gotten worse. I thought being married would help fix that but it hasn’t. My husband has a good buddy who, of course is beautiful and now has a bf. But I swear when she’s with my husband she lights up like a firecracker. She laughs and they joke together and it makes me crazy. Today my husband told me he doesn’t understand why her bf doesn’t like him. Both of us are jealous so at least I’m not the only one that feels this way. I just feel so insecure and angry about it and it sucks.
I love this guy but he’s had a long relationship in the past that effects everything in the now.. we have a relationship based off trust and talk about anything and everything even if it makes us mad or uncomfortable; we want to know. He almost married this girl and she was his highschool sweetheart from 16 years old to 19 years old. The break up was horrible but he’s said before that they were soul mates.. he tells me he loves me and says that he only wants me, but shea always going to be a part of him.. they’ve been talking recently because she’s going through a rouch time, but every time they talk, he gets in a mood. Like, nobody else can “satisfy” him. I’m sooo jealous and sometimes I feel guilty about it.. HELP!!!
Lately I been so jealous and full or anxiety because of it.
My boyfriend just starting a new developing job and I just graduated college and I haven’t found anything yet. We live together he works and I’m trying to find a job. Well he recently made friends with a co-worker that I had gotten mad at before for texting me pretending it was him saying thing about other women. I let that go but she keeps playing around with his phone. A couple of days ago he told me at a restaurant that they have a thing going on. I took it as if they had a romance going on. I was so hurt I left, when we got home and talked about it he said that the thing was just a close friends thing. I asked if he likes her more than friends as a girlfriend. He said not but he had thought about her as a potential girlfriend. He said they are so a like thats what made him think that. For the past couple of days I been feeling so sick just thinking of him saying to me that he thought of her as a girlfriend if we weren’t together. It kills me to think of him thinking that. We still talk about it cause he sees its taking a toll on me. So he keeps saying he loves me and he doesn’t have any feeling for her more then friends. thats the thought he had was once and he never thinks about it again. It makes me feel like we have nothing in common anymore and he would prefer to be best friends with her than me. He try to explain that their friendship is close to a gf/bf relationship. which hurt me even more when I asked him to explain that cause how I took it was that they have what him and I have. He said no its nothing like that at all. I asked if he meant it as her being his best friend. he said no she is not his best friend just a close friend. He said he is so much closer to me and that he loves me. I know he does love me but this feeling inside is tearing me apart and I don’t know how to deal with it. It almost feel like she cheated on me in the way he describes their friendship. I hurt everything time he goes to work cause I think they are always together and have secrets behind my back. She messaged him once asking if he was still in the office. He told her he was home back from a run. I thought she wasn’t going to message him cause she new he was home with me. she continued to a conversation asking him when was the last time he cried. That angered be because i felt like she had no respect that hes home with me and want to have little personal conversation with her that are none of her business. I don’t know how to deal with it I feel like I have to constantly remind myself that he loves me and she is nothing and that we love each other. But what he said before about how their friendship is and that he thought about her as a potential girlfriend if we weren’t together. Still lingers in my head and I don’t know how to get it off. Even thought he just told me last night that nothing will ever happen between then he had no feelings for her and even if we were to brake up he wouldn’t go with her. After we talk about it I feel good about it but the next day as he leaves for work that feeling of hurt and pain and anxiety comes again. I don’t want to feel like this cause I don’t want to lose him. Please someone help….
I feel you….. I don’t think I could handle that situation. My BF runs a sports website and he gets to go football games to promote his site. One thing he does is have girls go to the game and pass out flyers……I effing hate it. But I do trust him, it’s me feeling not good enough…..sucks to be a girl sometimes
the only way to get that out of your head is to forget about it. i know that is probably the worst piece of advice ever, but its true. try something new in your relationship. when you both are together, turn off your phones and computers so there are no distractions. tell him to leave work at work, that includes “her”. their friendship needs to stay at the office and only there. try it and see what happens. best of luck<3
i am super jelous and cant stand it.. although my bf has sent messages to his ex that he still cares about her and messaged another girl that she is hot, and i know this from people telling me, and yes i know its true for sure. So anyway ya i stalk him on facebook now lol and its terrible and makes me feel like a complete loser, but i try to talk to him about our issues and he calls me crazy and ignores me, ughhh, HELP MEE. I love him
I’m in the exact same position as you, sweetheart. If he is making you unhappy, or you feel you can’t trust him, do the strong thing and walk. I can’t talk to my boyfriend either, he does the exact same thing and it makes me so mad! He should be willing to talk to me, the jerk. But we won’t be together much longer, I deserve better! Look hon, There are FAR better men out there, trust me! Don’t waste your love and precious emotional energy on someone who does not exactly make you feel appreciated… clearly. Get out there and give someone else a chance to love you the way you need to be loved.
I’m a jelly I try not to be but its hard.. he is an ex club promoter and he cheated on his ex wife . He has a lot of gf due to his pormoting days and he says they are friends and that he loves me and he’s happy but its difficult I want to get rid of my jealousy and just be happy not having no negative thoughts what should I do ?
P.s. his ex wife is his babymama and I sometimes feel what if he goes back ! I need help
Yeah, I’ve been struggling with jealousy issues because my boyfriend is friends with a lot of other girls and because right now our relationship is long distance (which of course makes it worse when you never actually meet the girls he hangs out with on a daily basis). Its hard at times to just let go and trust him, but I always try to bring it up calmly and be honest about my feelings. Whenever I catch myself getting jealous I just remind myself that he is not the type of guy to do something like that, and that he is smart enough not to jeopardize our relationship.
I’m definitely guilty of being a jealous girlfriend. But recently I can to the conclusion that if your have to question whether he’s faithful or not then let him go no matter how hard it may be.
My current boyfriend told me about how he’s cheated on several of his ex girlfriends but says its different with me and he loves me an would never do it…it still worries me though. Also he doesn’t let me go near his phone but he always goes on mine, does this mean he has something to hide?
Hi Katie,
Your worries are definitely warranted. The reality is if your boyfriend has cheated on ladies multiple times before, he just may have the tendency to cheat on you as well. You can always tell how someone will interact in a relationship based off of their past relationships. So if you think that he is a cheater… you just might be right. BUT…. Your worry however does not warrant an investigation or interrogation. Based off his willingness to share about his past cheating, it seems like you two might have pretty good communication, so I suggest that you talk about it. Talk about how you are feeling as well as your discomfort with his constant phone protection. If he isn’t cheating then he should be more than willing to put your worried mind at ease. However, if he continues down this life of secrecy you may want to reconsider your current plan of action with your relationship. Remember, always trust your intuition it very rarely will lead you astray. Good luck girl!!
xoxo,
Tindall
My current boyfriend talks about all the girls he used to have all over him but he wasn’t a player he never went after any of them and he does say that he would never cheat and he loves me I trust him so much because I know he wouldn’t cheat . In a weird way it makes me jealous though when he talks about any girl . . Is that normal ?
I thought my jealousy was unreasonable so I ignored it. And then he cheated with his fatass shanky ex. so there ya go