How Do You Get Over Hookup Nerves?

Building Confidence

Need to calm your nerves? | Source: ShutterStock

Check out what’s new on our boards! Right now, girls are talking about how to get over hookup nerves and what to do when you feel a little self-conscious: 

AriNoel said:

So I really want to fool around more with my boyfriend… but every time he unbuttons my pants or lifts my shirt half-way up, I get scared and back out. He knows that I don’t like when he pulls my shirt up because I’m self-conscious, so he doesn’t do it anymore.

Also, I’m not sure if I’m supposed to shave down there. I need help on how to get over these self-conscious issues. Who am I kidding, I need help with A LOT of things. Can anyone message me and help with advice? I would so appreciate it.

Got something to add to this convo? Then go for it, girl. Tell us what you think in the boards: what’s the best way to get over hookup nerves and to stop feeling self-conscious about your body?


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  • cutekitten

    The first few times around the time I was about to lose my virginity I used to be that way too. I used to go to his place a lot because he was my friends older brother. I used to flirt with him a lot and had this big big crush on him. Thats why i was all the more self conscious. He would get my TShirt off and with me mostly wearing skirts it was easy to lift my skirt up and start doing stuff with his fingers and tongue. I would freeze and then panic and get very nervous and blush. But, he would position himself between my legs so I couldnt close them and continue finger me, masturbate and eat me out. It felt good but it made me feel so mortified especially because it was always after school when I had played basket ball and was sweaty and messy. He didnt mind I hadnt washed. That was why I was most uncomfortable not knowing what h must have felt going down on me whan i was so sweaty and stuff. I ended up losing my virginity to him at a very early age. He would make me orgasm repeatedly and I would lose all control. He was awesome and really knew how to do things.
    I dont have that anxiety anymore.

  • Missy

    It’s okay to be nervous. I waited for years to really fool around or even consider sleeping with a boyfriend. As far as shaving goes it’s a hassle. That being said it’s ultimately up to you. I would recommend talking to your boyfriend about your concerns as well though 🙂

  • ellie

    if he can’t accept you for how you are, forget him…but he is clearly very interested in being with you!!! have a chat and explain that you get self-conscious…but i can guarantee that he’ll tell you that you have nothing to be ashamed of and that you ARE beautiful!!!! don’t forget to have fun and relax…. 🙂

  • Chloe

    Well I’ve fooled around before, I am single now but when I was with my boyfriend we did stuff together. He went down my pants and went in! I went down his pants and yano! He’s lifted up my top he’s been undermy pants with his Tongue!! And we’ve dry humped! It’s all so nice I mean really it is! But to be honest I wouldn’t have been able to do any of that if I didn’t talk to him about it. He gave me advice and I improved on how to not be so nervous, if you start under the blanket or in the dark then you should be fine just start kissing and then start:)!

  • Lara

    The absolute most important thing about engaging sex is having fun. Instead of thinking how hot is has to be, how perfect you both have to look, or how well you do everything… think, that you really like this person and you want to have a good time with this person. Try being silly. If you know you can laugh with him, even in uncomfortable situations, if something embarrassing WERE to happen, it wouldn’t be a big deal. You guys could just laugh it off and continue having a good time.

    Remember, he wants to see you and touch YOU. That’s what he’s there for right? Also sex is supposed to be fun and to make you both feel good. It isn’t a performance(unless you want it to be) and isn’t work. It’s fun and it is sensual pleasure.
    Here are also some tips from my blog about feeling beautiful –