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I was so close . . . | Source: Shutterstock
I feel ashamed to admit it, but I really think that other girls might be able to relate. I’m not sure if it was because things were going too perfectly that I got a little bit bored or because it just felt nice to get attention from another guy. It was a different kind of attention, an undercover kind of attraction. It felt risky and made my heart race.
Two years ago, I was taking a summer Spanish class and that’s where I met the other guy. He was one of those mysterious-sexy kinds of guys; he played drums in an indie band and always picked me to team up with during partner activities. I told him I was in a relationship but he continued to compliment me on things that my boyfriend had just gotten used to I guess, after being together for so long.
We would hang out after class, and study together before quizzes. I liked talking to him but I felt kind of dirty afterwards. I don’t know how else to describe it. My boyfriend would ask why I was so late coming home from class and I’d tell him I was just doing homework with a group or going over a graded test. I never told him about the other guy because I knew he would be hurt and probably jealous.
Towards the end of the summer, my boyfriend went on a two-week family vacation to Europe. The other guy had become really persistent about the two of us hanging out together since our class was over. Now, I had no excuse not to.
I don’t know why but that night I tried on what seemed like hundreds of outfits before I settled on one that I thought made me look sexy but also low key. Why was I trying so hard to impress this guy when I already had a boyfriend of my own? At his house he had his whole band over for practice; the music was flowing and so were the drinks. He never left me alone and introduced me to all of his friends as “his girl.” I kind of liked it.
I can’t believe I was on his bed! | Source: Shutterstock
His face inched closer and closer to mine, until they were less than a foot apart. I moved back onto the bed, with my weight on my elbows. I’m still not sure if I did it because I wanted to lay with him or to back away from him—but he assumed the former. He moved on top of me and pushed his head into the crook of my neck.
As soon as I felt his lips, wet and warm on my skin, I knew I had done something awful. What was I doing, alone with this guy in his room? His hands were moving across my skin leaving a trail of shame and discomfort on my body. I had to get out of there. I pushed him off of me, got up off of the bed and hurried towards the door. Without looking at his face I said, “I’m sorry, I can’t,” and walked out of the room.
I felt disgusted by myself, even though I had stopped everything before the situation got out of control. I knew that I would never cheat on my boyfriend. That heart-racing feeling that I felt when I talked to the other guy just wasn’t worth losing my boyfriend over. Not at all. I ended up telling my boyfriend everything when he got back from his trip. He was upset, as I knew he would be, but at least things hadn’t gone any further. Every once in a while I get a text from an unknown number in Spanish asking if I still have a boyfriend. I know it’s the other guy, but I never respond. I love my boyfriend and being with him is not something I ever want to gamble again.
Have you ever cheated on someone you were dating? What do you think about girls who cheat? What about guys who cheat? Tell me in the comments!
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This is such a refreshing article, the EXACT same thing happened to me recently – complete with hot and mysterious guy, language class and almost kiss. I too stopped myself, but I still feel guilty, even when we just hang out after class. Thank you so much for this, I feel less alone and clearer about how I feel
Hi, I’m happy to see something relating to what i’m slighlty going through now. I’v been going out with this amazing guy for 2 years, he’s a very musically oriantated person of which I love, however i met this guy a year ago at work and after a while we have been getting on so well I thought of him as a really close friend, Later on I found out he liked me. At first i didn’t think of it as anything I ignored it and still thought I could never love another like I do my boyfriend. After a party with work we started communicating a bit more and it was then I came to the realisation that I liked him. I have no idea if it is because I know he likes me so my brain is tricked into thinking I like him or at the fact that I might be leading him on (I dont want too) but all i know is my relationship is on the line and I really want it to be the way it was. I love my boyfriend and he is the only one whome understands me, as I have been honest and told him my situation he claims he is fine (I dought it) and has been helping me through everything and say’s that my illness (as we call it) will end soon, however my patience is wearing thin and I just want it to be over. Everytime I communicate with this other guy i feel so guilty after and cry myself to sleep. I know this is your wall but I would love if anyone could leave some feedback in helping or telling me how to overcome this feeling. Thanks.
I almost or did, cheated on my boyfriend too. I haven’t told him as I don’t want to hurt him, and it only happened a couple of days ago. I went to a casual party of my friends – only around ten people in the house. We’ve only been together about three months, and he is really bad at showing emotions. We haven’t told each other that we love each other yet. And i do love him to bits, but he is away with his job and when ever I tell him I miss him he just replies with ‘Awww’. The only real compliment he’s given me was about a week after we started daing, he called me amazing, and that was in the heat of the moment…. I text him every day while he’s away, but there is no emotion with it, there’s the odd winking face but he doesn’t even feel the need / want /or is to scared to sext or have a dirty phone call. Not to mention he doesn’t even send ‘x’ at the end of texts…
So I went to a party with my friends, and started drinking with out eating (never a good sign) and from my vague recollection, ended up on a bed in the spare room with another guy. We started off just talking, about areselves and then he told me that i was beautiful, and I immediately felt needed and wanted. We kissed, passionately and spooned all night but didn’t have sex due to the fact that even though I was really drunk, I said no.
Now I feel horrible, I can’t sleep and don’t know what to do. I love my boyfriend so much but I can’t even say that he loves me. His friends have told me I’m the only one he has let to get so close which makes me so happy, (and traumatised that i may have ruined it all). But I crave for attention, for someone to tell me I’m pretty – or that they need or want me…
I have no idea what to do or what to say or even how to confront my boyfriend about his emotions….
My ex-boyfriend dumped me 4 months ago after I accused him of seeing someone else and insulting him. I want him back in my life but he refuse to have any contact with me. I was so confuse and don’t know what to do, so I reach to the internet for help and I saw a testimony of how a spell caster help them to get their ex back so I contact the spell caster and explain my problem to him and he cast a spell for me and assure me of 3days that my ex will return to me and to my greatest surprise the third day my ex came knocking on my door and beg for forgiveness. I am so happy that my love is back again and not only that, we are about to get married. Once again thank you Dr. opingo spell. You are truly talented and gifted. Email: alterofcandletemple@gmail.com is the only answer. he can be of great help and I will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man.
Hey girls i know im not a girl but i was recently cheated on by the love of my life and i was just trying to get into the mind of girls who cheated and im really happy to see that you kept loyal to your boyfriend and im sure he will do the same if he is ever in this situation. Good for you!
But still you lead him on and keeping secret boy-friends behind his back is very disrespectful.
I’m only fourteen. And I haven’t had many boyfriends to actually cheat on. But in just my opinion, cheating can really break two girls’ hearts. A girl’s boyfriend and the other girl he’s cheating with or the other way around with guys. With some people, it may be because they can’t really make up their mind or they just get caught up in the moment and don’t know what they’re doing. For people who have cheated purposely or accidently, it’s best just to start over and clear everything up.
It more or less (I think less) is cheating. That awful feeling, the discomfort you knew it was wrong but who doesn’t but to explore or risk a little? Who doesn’t like the attention when someone notices something special, unique, or very detailed about you? It’s flattering. But the fact of the matter is, she knew she loved her boyfriend. She wouldn’t want to change what they had and she didn’t experiment, she knew what she wanted. She wanted her boyfriend. She didn’t test the waters with this other guy.
The fact that she told her bf takes some courage, it’s kinda admirable. I would probably have trust issues after that no doubt, but knowing it didn’t go further and she still chose me has to be of some comfort that the relationship can continue on.
Good gurl on following your instincts and knowing what’s right and where ya wanna be in life, or at least in your relationships.
i can relate to you girl. i almost cheated on my bf too (well now he is my ex). it was at a friends birthday party and we were playing truth and dare, and there was my one guy friend who i was slightly attracted to there. so when it landed on both of us, i did wanted to kiss him and for him to kiss me back. he didn’t do it because he knew i had a boyfriend, but i was totally fine with kissing him. it really got me thinking about how i was so determined to kiss my friend who i was honestly enjoyed being around him more than my own boyfriend. it helped me come down to thinking about breaking up with my boyfriend. i was more attracted to my guy friend who was sweet funny and everything i want in a guy, than to my very sadistic uptight rude bf. but i honestly didn’t break up with my bf until after 6 months of that incident. i never told him about it and i was trying to work it out with my bf anyways. but me almost cheating on my bf helped me realized that if i was so unhappy in my relationship that i was willing to cheat, i shouldn’t be in that relationship. i wish i did break up with my bf right away after that now. but i was also worried that if i broke up with him so soon after that incident with my friend, i was worried what my guy friend would think, since i did have a little crush on him. I have now been single for almost 6 months, almost a year after the situation and i still haven’t made any recent move on my guy friend, because i also am afraid now that since i was willing to cheat on my bf with him that he would think that i have no problem cheating on him if i was with him. i honestly don’t believe in cheating, i was extremely upset when one of my ex-bf’s cheating on me, so i was honestly very upset with myself that i was willing to do it. but if i didn’t ALMOST cheat, i would have never opened up my shut eyes to a bad relationship
Everyone is tempted from time to time. You stopped. Good for you. You’ve learned a valuable lesson Thank goodness the cost wasn’t to high. You rock girl, and I hope others learn from your experience.
Hi,
Sometimes once guys have you they stop doing what they did to get you and it makes us feel like shit. ive been there. So when someone new was giving you attention it made you feel special and wanted. Everyone loves affection and attention, its normal. And personally i think you were caught up in the moment. you didnt cheat girl, relax. you did the right thing by telling your boyfriend. stop blaming yourself for something that wasnt even that bad im telling you dont feel so guilty. alright? if you or anyone ever need to talk message me on my tumblr hateyou4ll.tumblr.com
That’s great how followed your gut feeling.At least you didn’t let it get any further and you were honest…You go girl!
Sorry, but at least to me, getting up to that point is cheating in itself. Putting yourself in that type of situation seems extremely disrespectful to your boyfriend, even without letting it go further. You led him on.