
Wonder what he’s thinking about… | Source: ShutterStock
Dear Ethan,
Why is it that guys seem like they only think about sex???? I feel like it’s all they think about – how often do guys really think about sex?
You may have heard the myth that on average, men think about sex every seven seconds. That would mean men have over 7,000 sexual thoughts per day! More realistically, men probably think about sex only once every eight seconds.
I’m kidding, of course. But we do think about sex quite often – certainly, at least, more than women do. In a January 2012 study for the Journal of Sex Research, Ohio State University reported that the median number of sexual thoughts is 19 per day for males, versus 10 per day for females. With that being said, the number of sexual thoughts per day ranged between one and 388 across all of the men.
So while it’s impossible to pinpoint exactly how often men think about sex, the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University reports that more than half of all men think about sex several times a day. Meanwhile, only 19% of all women report the same frequency.
So why do men think about sex more than women? For one thing, men are extremely visual creatures, as I’ve often loved to discuss in this column. For men, who are more easily stimulated by sexually arousing images than women are, a sexual response can be triggered by even one glimse of sideboob. It’s biologically beneficial for men to be able to reproduce at the drop of a bra.

They can’t help it – it’s just something they think about! | Source: ShutterStock
Even in relationships, the differences continue to stack up. A woman’s sex drive will begin to plummet once she enters monogomy, while a man’s libido will hold steady no matter how long he’s romantically engaged.
But with 43% of all male Kinsey Report subjects thinking about sex only a few times per week or month, keep in mind that just under half of men aren’t even thinking about sex once a day. So yes, your teenage boyfriend probably thinks about sex more than you – and he probably always will. But have faith that at least his raging hormones will quiet down in years to come—he won’t necessarily be obsessed with it forever!
Good luck!
Ethan
Ethan Fixell is a writer and comedian from New York City best known as one half of comic “dating coach” duo Dave and Ethan. He is also the creator and editor of ActualConversation.com. For more on Ethan, visit EthanFixell.com…or call his mom, Robin.
Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “What is he thinking?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Ethan, email him at askaguy@gurl.com!
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I think about sex quite often when im just sitting there day dreaming in class haha, but idk how much my boyfriend thinks about it. I wanna know if it comes across his mind as much as it does for me
yeah im 19, and i think about sex a few times a day… i think its perfectly normal..
I think about sex if my ex thinks about it (cause me and him might go back out)
Wait…how does losing your virginity affect your ability as a gymnast? I think if you have started intense gymnastics from a young age, your hymen may have either stretched immensely or has broken naturally. I’m unsure if that is what you’re worried about or not.
Same as you Kayla
Yes, I am a 19 year old college girl and I think about sex ALL THE TIME! Maybe it’s because I’m in a drought
Ha, yeah, a drought will do that to anyone. But seriously, it’s perfectly normal for a girl to think about sex “all the time” — it just depends on the circumstances!
-Ethan
I also think about sex all the time no matter what I’m doing.
my bf is always talking about sex and telling me he want to. But i cant lose my virginity (dont think i spelled that right lol) because i am an alete gymnast so i have to wait intill the olypics in 2013 if we are still alive by then. lol
There won’t be Olympics in 2013….
Oh, and you barely spelled anything right.
I agree, gymnastics shouldn’t affect sex and 2013? Hahaha wrong, olympics every four years! I just started watching them and even I know that.