Loud Sex? Why You Might Want To Cool It With The Sex Sounds

sex sounds orgasm

If you fake your sex sounds, you’re going to keep having to fake your orgasm, too. | Source: Shutterstock

If you’ve ever watched a movie with a sex scene, you’ve probably heard a ton of sex sounds that you think you’re supposed to make: screaming, yelling, saying the dude’s name, shrieking oddly religious things for something that a lot of cultures consider a carnal sin.

It sometimes makes you think that unless you’re screaming like a banshee loud enough to startle your roomie, you’re not doing it right. But here’s the thing. Actresses in movies (even in pornos) are doing just that: acting. And those sex sounds you’re hearing? Fake. Also fake? The entire freakin’ orgasm.

Fake orgasms and exaggerated sex sounds aren’t limited to movies and XXX sites, either. It turns out, most of us fake an orgasm pretty often.

A new study says 80 percent of women fake an orgasm, usually by using sex sounds. Since we don’t ejaculate the way guys do, dudes have to rely on other cues to tell when we’re climaxing, and our vocalizations are a huge part of that.

The study says that a lot of us use sex sounds to fake an orgasm just so the guy will finish and get off of us, as opposed to him actually getting us off. We want to improve his self-esteem instead of his sexual skills. We’re trying to be nice and let the dude know he’s doing a pretty good job, but we still do it when we’re bored, uncomfortable, in pain, or just want to roll over and go to sleep. We want to make our guys feel proud of their ability to make us orgasm, even when they don’t, just so they’ll knock it off once they’re done.

And here’s the kicker: When we actually feel good and excited, a lot of girls hardly make any sex sounds at all and are the most quiet. It makes sense, though–when you’re really into it, a lot of people just like to enjoy what’s happening and revel in it, not necessarily shout it so the neighbors (or your parents) can hear. And that’s fine!

Here’s what’s crappy about faking an orgasm, though: You’re not helping anyone. The more you use sex sounds to fake an orgasm when you’re actually not feeling it, the cockier your dude is gonna get about his not-so-great skills. This means if you keep giving him a pat on the back via an “Ooh, baby!” when he’s doing something that doesn’t feel so awesome, he’s going to keep doing it–because you made him think it was amazing. Then he gets the false impression that the weird thing he does with his elbow gets you off, and you’re relegated to a lack of real orgasms as a result. And come on, that sucks.

A better solution? Let  him know what actually feels good. You don’t need to shout if you don’t want to. If something bores you, instead of making sex sounds so he feels better and finishes a little faster, just whisper, “I love it when you…” He’ll probably listen!

Sex is supposed to feel good for both of you. If you don’t like what he’s doing and you make sex sounds anyway just so he’ll feel better about himself, you’re doing yourself a disservice–and that should make you take a look at why you’re having sex with this person to begin with if it doesn’t feel good. Not everyone has an orgasm every single time he or she has sex, and that’s fine–it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with either of you. But if you use sex sounds to fake an orgasm every single time you have sex time, there’s something wrong with the relationship, because it means you don’t feel comfortable enough with your guy to tell him what you like. And that’s even worse than waking your roommate up.

Do you make sex sounds in bed or are you quiet? Have you ever faked an orgasm to keep a guy happy? Have you ever faked an orgasm with sex sounds? Tell us in the comments!

Here’s How To Tell Him You’re Not Finished Yet!


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  • maria

    I didn’t find out what an orgasm was till I was in my 30s sex before that was get on get off but later in life I discovered the real pleasure of sex and now have multiple orgasms,just be in touch with yourself know how to use your lower muscles and wait for that mind blowing experience

  • Jen

    I have faked an orgasm in the past, because I felt like an ass after he would get off and I didn’t feel a darn thing. But, I have long since done that with the boyfriend I am now seeing. He is the only one who can actually get me to call out his name in bed, and make what I consider a huge racket. I never purposely try to make a whole bunch of noise, it just happens, and I don’t even realise I’m making all of these ridiculously loud noises, because I am so wrapped up in him and what he is doing. But, when I am at the brink of orgasm, my voice cuts out, and I kinda sound like a dying frog if I push it…

  • bree<3

    If he’s ever trying a little too hard literally and I’m just not get to the point of an orgasm, I might start panting a little and grip the covers tightly or sometimes twitch my knees definitely helps :D

  • BleedingSun

    I’ve never actually had an orgasm (not even when trying to do it myself), but as far as I can tell, I’m super quiet. I have faked orgasm once before, because my boy friend was trying to hard to get me off and I just wasnt, so I faked some quiet moaning noises.
    What I can say though, is that there are other clues to you enjoying yourself then moaning. For example, I, well, twitch for a lack of a better word. My entire lower half spasms. Doesn’t sound very attractive now does it? But apparently guys like it.

  • Phoebe

    I have to disagree with you slightly here- if I am really enjoying sex, I moan a lot and very loudly! I actually sometimes wish I didn’t, but if I get really into it and forget about everything else and just enjoy the feeling of good sex, I make a lot of noise, none of which is put on!

  • hailey

    I’m not very experienced, but i just had sex for my second time(its been a few years since my first) with my boyfriend. it was amazing and i was loud lol but not to make him feel better, only because it felt good, i dont scream or shriek and the only time i talk is to occasionally say is name. but he did say i’m pretty loud but also that he likes it(:

  • Kels

    I’m definitely more quiet in bed. Thats how i enjoy sex is just keep quiet.

  • LilBD

    I make noise :3 but not like loud cursing or talking or anything like that just groans. The times I’ve had sex I would start enjoying it and I’ve never tried nor think I could start talking just groaning and panting and the occasional saying of his name. And while that’s for his benefit (I notice the difference and pick up after saying it) It’s also for mine because he’ll say mine and it’s always right by my ear and that just is great to me.

    But I don’t scream bloody murder or really curse. And I don’t really do it for him but it feels good for me. We’ve talked about what I like a couple times and it always makes things better.

  • anonymous400

    i make sex noises but i make them when i feel pleasure not to make him feel better hah

  • ToxicDisco

    I’m always quiet even if it feels amazing. That’s just how I am and I have no problem with that. Besides I’ve heard some guys say it actually gets annoying when the girl goes TOO loud.

  • GrannyAT

    This all makes perfect sense. Even though I’m a virgin, my ex used to do under-the-clothes things all the time. Some stuff I didn’t like but I still was screaming like a maniac to make him feel better. Now I know that I don’t have to make all of that noise. LOL

  • misslmh11

    I make noise during sex because I am an expressive person. I have never faked an orgasm, and I didn’t even know girls did that to make the guy feel good about himself. I’m no bad ass or anything, but I never really thought an orgasm for me was that important for guys anyway.

    I am going to try being less quiet and focusing on enjoying it more while having sex. Maybe I’ll have more orgasms that way ^_^

  • NightGoddess

    Now it makes sense! I always wondered why I was so quiet. Glad nothing’s wrong with me!