I wanted to know if it is okay to forgive my boyfriend for cheating on me. He had sex with someone else in my car and also tried to hit on his ex-girlfriend while I wasn’t around. It hurts me so much that he did this, and he still tries to deny it because he is afraid to lose me.
I love him a lot and I never thought he would do something like this to me. Every day he shows me how much he cares for me and loves me. So when I found out, it broke me to pieces. Now when I kiss him I just see him with that other girl. What should I do? Please help me.
Is it okay to forgive someone for cheating? Yes, in certain situations. Would I advise you to forgive your boyfriend for cheating? Honestly, no. I know that’s probably not the advice you were looking for, but hear me out.
The only time I would tell someone to forgive their BF for cheating is if the guy seemed really remorseful and realized that he made a huge mistake. And honestly, from what you’ve said, it doesn’t sound like your boyfriend realizes that he did something wrong. The fact that he is still trying to deny what he did is proof of that. If he can’t man up and admit that he really did cheat on you, then he doesn’t deserve your forgiveness. All that shows is that he probably doesn’t think what he did was that bad – and there’s a huge possibility he could do it again.
Just by cheating on you alone, your boyfriend was showing you major disrespect. But letting it happen in your car? That’s a whole other level of disrespect, girl. There’s nothing okay about what he did. Do you really want to be with someone who could betray you that badly? Another warning sign is that he was flirting with his ex-girlfriend, meaning his infidelity wasn’t a one-time thing. And if a dude is cheating on you and flirting with other girls, that’s bad news so matter how you spin it.
Listen, I know you think your BF shows you that he cares – but cheating on you, hitting on other girls and bringing other girls into your car shows the complete opposite. Of course he doesn’t want to lose you – you’re awesome and special. But this dude definitely does not deserve you. You deserve someone who wouldn’t lie to you, disrespect you or completely betray you.
Do yourself a favor and get rid of this immature guy. There’s a huge chance that he might cheat on you again, and I know you’re going to have trouble trusting him. Don’t let anyone treat you that badly – you’ll find someone in the future who truly does care about you and love you. Until then, you’re better off single then staying with this guy.
What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at firstname.lastname@example.org