Your Complete Guide To Getting Out Of The Friend Zone

friend zone

Keep it quiet! | Source: Shutterstock

Try not to tell the entire world that you dig your guy friend. If your crush is unsure of how he feels, any gossip that goes around and gets back to him (and it totally will) will make things awkward and add extra pressure–and those aren’t conducive to building a relationship.

If you need to spill to someone, tell a close pal who doesn’t know the guy–or just keep a diary. This also helps you, because then you don’t have to worry about people asking what’s up with you two or making it awkward for you guys when you’re out–and it’s a lot less explanations to make if you guys don’t work out as a couple.


Posted in: Ask an Expert
Tags: , , , , , ,
  • Isabella

    So I like this guy, Clarke, we met a couple months ago, well we didn’t really technically meet. You see I got his number from a mutual friend (guy friend) and we texted for about a month without him knowing what I look like. So the guy I got his number from pointed me out to him in the hallway at school, making a huge sene if I might add. Ever since he says “hi izzy” whenever he passes me in the hallway which drives me crazy. But in between the months that we’ve know each other, weird things have happened between us. One of my friends tried to get him to ask me to class night without my knowledge and another one texted him “I like u” to him on my phone and every time stuff like this happens I tell him that I wasn’t my idea or it wasn’t me, I never deny that u don’t like him. And a few days ago we had our class night and he danced with a friend if mine that doesn’t know I like him, Carly, and throughout the song “I want to make you feel wanted” they inched closer to me making my heart rip out if my chest. I like him so much and idk what to do, our mutual friend doesn’t know I like him either. Please help!!

  • Hi there

    Ask him out In private. If he says yes, awesome!!!!! But if he says no day that you were dared to do it. If he askes who dared you tell him the name of someone he doesn’t know. It will keep you friends. If you want to go into it gradually go ahead and wait. This works for asking with no warning just not as we’ll as it would with waiting.

  • po0hmzeeleigh

    i am friend zoned help! I know a guy for about 12 years but i am only 17 i love him,he is the only guy i have ever felt this way about…he gives me all the attention but don’t know how to tell him how i feel.problem is he is know dating my other friend whom i know for 3 years…starting to hate the girl but its not her fault that i was slow #sad for months

  • JT

    Hey IM a guy and the best advice I can give is this. Flirting with the guy you like is a good way to see if he is at all interested in you. How about Hugging or a peck on the check, things that a are a form of contact with him that you would not normally do with other guy mates.

    Seeing how he responds to that kind of contact can give you an idea of how far into the friend zone you are.
    But note this is not a complete solution liking you and being turned on for a guy can muck with his feelings. So be carful and don’t move to fast.

    for sister zone talk about other guys to him see how he responds. Some guys take a while to sort out there feelings and you could possible be sister zoned because he has not dealt with his feelings for you. Or because he likes you he sister zoned you.

    Remember though in some cases you are permanently sister zoned so be carful how you do it because you want to remain friends at the very least.

    this is because when some guys are cornered they say stuff they don’t mean to escape an awkward conversation.

    Good Luck

  • Meadow

    Ive known this boy for a year now, and before i met him my friends were talking about him and i knew wed get on. Then we met at a party and started talking and it was the funniest thing ever. Ill admit . I was looking abit frumpy clothes/body wise but my face was up to scratch , ever since we met then weve been good friends and hes gotten nicer to me.agter awhile i started looking alot better and this one night at a party we were literally inseperable and he was touching me llll the time (hands on knee etc) hes nt a very physical person, Literally last night we went out for my friends birthday and we were om the bus and i turned away and id recently chanhed my hair , and he was playing with my curls and said myy hair looked nice , and just the whole night he was awkwtdly complimenting me and stuff. BUT . when my bestieemt to ask him what he thought of me and that we wud go well (dont wuz it was smotth and nt whilst i was there) he went all in a panic, like you cant force it! Mnononon shes a really good mate, it wud be weird. And im nt surprised. I wudnt expevt him to confess there like wtf. Hes nt that guy. And im meeting up with him and a couple of friends this week hopefulky, but i really dnt know what hes playing at. It wasnt as though other girls werent there but he was with me and werent THAT close. Im willing to wait and try and just hope itll workout. I really think hes so special. Fmllllll teen life .

  • LiZzy

    Friend zoned he knows I like him it had this fantasy he would hold me tight forever but he didn’t so awkward someone help

  • sara

    ok I have known him for three years it started by a friend telling me he is into me then he asked me out casually like friends but bailed at ladt sec I did the same to him later then we became closer and I met other people and announced a brother zone for him 🙁 I kept denying my feelings I got nwedy and by time I became the little sister that always needed his help I waited a year free of relationship upon his advice so I become sure of my feelings and so if I told him he won’t say your just rebounding the feelings continued I made a friend suggest us hooking uo he said am like his sister I told him he said its just a phase you are going through you have unrealistic thoughts about me am not that perfect I am all yours till you snap out of it …I refused and later pretended he was right and am over him ..I can’t help all through those year his flirts his subtle too close sits and can’t just believe am just a friend what should I do

  • betheny

    Yeah. When i first met him a liked him. It didnt fan out like i hoped. But he did become my best friend. We smoke and game together. I could totally see myself dating. But atlass, the friendzone is strong here.

    • leeloo

      same here :/

    • ACatToRemember

      I know how you feel

  • Jessse

    ok so I have liked this guy for a year and I know he likes someone else because he told me. He has told me some really personal stuff before. Latelly he has been talking to me less. I think that I should just give up

    • uriel

      Same here……. 🙁

  • Julie

    What does it mean if he was dating you and THEN kicked you out to the Friend Zone
    ?

  • Ali

    okay i have a huge problem im not friend zoned i am sister zoned, this kid has been my best friend since we were 3 im not even kidding we maet in preschool and have been bff’s ever since , this is how badly i am sister zoned, our parents let us have sleep overs, we’ve shared a bed, hes gone on a weekend vacation with me and i dont know if he gets a hint but he let me lay my head on his lap when we were on the beach and that night and we go out all the time for movies and his friends all joke that we should just get marrried and i just have to sit there and laugh with him we have the best conversations and i jjust ugh some one help me please how can i get out of this zone !

    p.s. ive tried all of the above weve even made cupcakes together and got in a frosting war like wtf he cant get a hint ( because if you get frosting in my hair i will usally flip shit but i didnt ) i need help please!!!!!!!!!!

  • Z

    Two problems here. One, he already knows that I like him (thanks to the “nicest friend ever”), and two, now we’re kinda sorta halfway in the friendzone.. HELP!

    • Ali

      ugh i hate those “friends” but for your problem i think you should confront him if he hasnt been like extremly awkward you should be good 🙂

  • CaitlinH

    I have a friend named Jacob and I’ve been completely head over heels for him since the day I met him. I saw him and asked my friend, “whos that? He’s cute!” and then ever since that day we’ve become best friends. He calls me every night (I never have to call him) and he’s always got something to show me or tell me or something of that nature. He asks me to meet up with him in the mornings before school to listen to his favorite band. When we first became friends he walked me to class for about a week or two. We have piano class together so he’s always sitting right beside me and when I don’t understand something, when he helps me he’s always so close to me, touching my leg against his, hands touching, etc. I don’t know if I’m in the friendzone, because while all of those signs sound promising, He tells me when he thinks a girl is attractive or “hot” or whatever and I’m a size 12 girl. I’m not exactly “skinny”. So I feel unattractive when he rarely compliments me. Sorry this is so long but it’s been over 3 years and I just can’t stop having these feelings for him. I have started to come to the conclusion that I love him. There’s so much more to show that he likes me but there’s those little things to say, ehh maybe he doesn’t. Help? (:

    • James

      Go for it nothing to lose you sound confident and if he says no take it in stride because size 12 is a nice size to see a woman.

    • Jackie

      I think that you should be more open with him and give subtle hints, such a flirty eye-contact. However, it seems that he doesn’t really pick up on these, so maybe you should just tell him! I know this can be nerve wracking and hard to face up to, but ultimately you have known him for so long and you seem to be really close. Alternatively, you could ask him in a jokey way; “I think she’s hot- when was the last time you looked at me!? ;)” or “You’re so good at the piano, marry me so I can listen all day!!” Hope I helped 🙂

  • lamingtongirl

    OMG. Now, that I have read this, I know I made a huge mistake. I am literally in luuurve with my best friend, and his best friend picked up on it and told everyone, so then i was in huge trouble. and the good thing was, he didn’t believe me! (my crush, I mean)

    Well, im going to try that advice and stuff that I learnt and hopefully we’ll be out of the friend zone in no time!

  • Senna

    I’m 17 and he is 19 I fell for him a few months after meeting him. I am forever friend zoned because not only does he like someone else but I’ve told him I like him…

    • Smilebaby

      I completely understand! I’m 16 and today I’ve been friend zoned without having to tell him. I was asking him a question and he said he really wish I wouldn’t but he couldn’t stop me. I wasn’t going to tell him especially because I found out the previous day that my friend asked if he was into me. He said no just friends. But that’s friend zoning before I even told him. Embarrassing yet hilarious

  • Bliz17

    I am convinced that I will be stuck in the friend zone forever! Honestly…all the tips were really good and well thought out, but I’m just afraid. I’ve gone to church with this guy for like 4 years, and we are really good friends. But I’m afraid to use any of those tips…like what if he just flatout rejects me? Then I would have lost one of my best friends (b/c I dont think I could be friends with him after that). What should I do??

  • Heather

    Hahaha been there, and still there!!!! What I did, was I put a really out of character, pushy fb post/message, and he kinda freaked out, and talked to me about it, and that’s when I told him I liked him. Lol when he asked what the post was about, I told him that my cousin (i don’t have any btw) hacked my fb and posted it! So far its gone pretty good, except he hasn’t talked to me in 3 weeks. DERP