I Get Turned On By Lesbian Porn. Am I A Lesbian?!

I watch lesbian porn

Try to find someone you trust to talk to. | Source: ShutterStock

Hi Heather,

Recently I’ve noticed that I get turned on by watching lesbian porn. But I have a boyfriend. I also always think about females in a sexual way… I’m not the same with my boyfriend, and we’ve been dating for almost a year. I’m so confused. HELP!! PLEASE?!

Okay, no need to panic! I know that what you’re going through right now is very confusing and probably a little scary, but eventually, you will figure everything out – even if that takes a little while. I’m not saying that you’re bisexual or a lesbian, but the most important thing you need to realize right now is that if that’s the case, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with either of those sexual orientations.

That being said, watching and enjoying girl-on-girl porn does not automatically make you a lesbian. Everyone gets turned on by different things, and just because it may seem odd doesn’t mean it is. You’d probably be surprised at how many straight girls and women watch lesbian porn (just Google it to see!).

However, you also mentioned that you think about females in a sexual way, but don’t think about your boyfriend like that. Ask yourself a few questions here: do you get turned on by heterosexual porn? Do you fantasize about men the same way you fantasize about women? Do you enjoy hooking up with your boyfriend? If you think about girls on a regular basis and have little to no interest in men, there is a possibility that you could be a lesbian. If you think about both girls and guys, you could be bisexual.

She’s proof that lesbians are awesome! | Source: ShutterStock

The truth is, I can’t tell you what your sexual orientation is. No one can. It’s something you need to figure out on your own. Sure, there might be tons of quizzes and articles online and in magazines that try to help you answer that question, but in the end it really comes down to how you feel. Talking to someone about your confusion might be helpful. If you’re comfortable enough with your parents or another adult, try spilling your feelings to them. If not, there are support hotlines that could be beneficial to you.

What’s important here is that you take the time you need to get comfortable with your sexuality, even if that just means being comfortable with some sexuality question marks. Don’t feel like there’s pressure to do or say anything about your sexuality. And that goes for your current relationship too. If you don’t want to be with your boyfriend sexually, consider ending things with him until you really figure out how you feel. When it comes to sexuality and sexual relations, you should be doing anything you’re not 100 percent happy doing.

take care,
Heather

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com

 

Check out this video on the question: am I gay or straight?


Posted in: Help Me Heather, Love Advice
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35 Comments

  1. avatar Grace Fallon says:

    All these bible thumping homophobic bigots need to chill. I’m Catholic. I’m also bisexual. I’ve known that since I was 13 or 14. The way I see it, if God is a God of love, then He isn’t going to quibble over the gender of the person you love.

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