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Would you be able to forgive him? | Source: ShutterStock
Say you’re going out with this guy you really like. Things are going great, until one day you find out that he cheated. Suddenly, BAM, everything falls apart… until he asks you to forgive him and give him another chance. So, do you do it?
We saw this topic being discussed in the message boards and we had to know how you girls felt about it. Would you take back a cheater, even though he totally messed up? Would you be able to forgive someone for that kind of dishonesty? It’s hard to give a definitive answer unless you’ve actually been in the situation, but either way, we want to know what you think. Check out what these girls had to say and then tell us your thoughts:
princessval1457 said:
Would you ever take a cheater back? If yes, explain why and if no explain why. If you have ever taken a cheater back before, tell us your story and why you took him back, and if you guys are still together.
Have I ever taken a cheater back? Yes, because I honestly thought he would change. But he just wasn’t the same person, and things weren’t the same as they were before he cheated, so I knew I had to end it.
crystalxoxo said:
I would never, and I have never… Cheating is wrong. If you are going to do it once, then more then likely its going to happen again, so I would never take one back.
Don’t let him lie to you again… | Source: ShutterStock
DaisyandTulip said:
Well, I haven’t been cheated on but I did cheat on my boyfriend. It was within the first couple months of dating and I told him right away. What I did was pretty crappy but he forgave me and I haven’t cheated since. Would I take a cheater back? Well, I suppose it depends on the person and situation. I can’t say no or yes for certain because things are always so different when it actually happens.
So what do we think? Well, we have to agree with DaisyandTulip: it always depends on the people involved and the exact situation. If you love your boyfriend and are willing to try to forgive him for what he did, then give him another chance. But if you honestly feel so hurt that you don’t think you can past it, taking him back probably isn’t going to end well.
The truth is, forgiving and taking back a cheater is extremely difficult. If you were cheated on, that means you’re probably extremely hurt and more than likely, your trust is broken. It’s not an easy thing to get over, and sometimes, it’s best to break ties – especially if that dude is a serial cheater.
What would you do? Would you take back a cheater? Have you ever taken back a cheater before? Have you ever cheated? Tell us in the comments.
Ask A Guy: Once A Cheater, Always A Cheater?
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The Morning After
Iv been dating this guy for a year and a half now. I really love him and he loves me too. Its distance but we seem to make it work. We haven’t slept together and i think its because we don want to rush into it too soon and want it to be beautiful. However we have both cheated on each other various times but we are honest about it we’ve come to a point where cheating isnt allowed and i know this may sound crazy but our relationship has mostly been and open relationship until recently when we decided to commit fully. I have however cheated on him with his cousin which is about 5 or more years older then him this was in the first months we started dating. I hate myself for it as his cousin was the 2nd person i’d ever slept with and it was a 1night stand and my first is also a best friend of this cousin of his which i only found out afterwards. I feel so bad and really want to tell him the truth as our relationship is not based on lies but honesty but i’m so scared he won’t feel the same way about me again and i really cant continue in this guilt because we always speak about future plans. I have no feelings at all for his cousin and was and still am disgusted by what happened as he also knew that i was dating his cousin and first approached me and i know what his intentions were he even asked me to do it again and i insulted him and have no contact with him. He also told my first lover which is one of his best friends about sleeping with me and even my boyfriend but i denied it. Please help what do i do i’m drowning in guilt
Me and my ex-boyfriend of 7months have been liking one another since we where all children i liked him so much but we just never dated when i was ready for him he was taken and when he was ready for me i was taken but June6th 2012 We finally made me and him an “us” hes done so much but i keep going back and wanting him back just recently i found that he had been having dating another girl 7mo’s long and i’ve cried 3days straight because i care so much and i honestly still want him back everyones telling me NO but they havent been in my shoes im just soooo CONFUSED comment and let me know your inputs PLEASE it’d be awesome
What does he tell you?
I been with my boyfriend for five years I treated him like gold n he walked all over me I was there for him n his kids plus I have my own this boy I mean boy because ain’t no real man going to do this to a real lady I truly hope so he use to stay out all night n not come home for days n I must say he lived with me well he hung out in the streets do but would tell me he is out with the guys well I found out the guys was really his true cousin n they were sleeping together that hurt me so dad I could never forgive him now he is n jail n try to apologize to me but its not true I just feel so hurt I can’t forget it
i have been in a live in relationship with a guy for seven years, i was in love with him, piece by piece he took every bit of love that i had for him and destroyed it, I found out that a woman he worked with, after doing some checking up on his cell phone bill he was talking to her for two months from morning till night, I finally called this woman and she told me they was having affair, so i kicked him out of his house ,now he is back, i will never love him the way i did, and he probably knows it, I am healing, but i have learned a lesson, after all the hell he put me through and me allowing him to do it to me, I will never put him first again as long as i live, I did every thing for this man, and he did nothing for me, he made alot of promises to me and now he is keeping his word, letting me know where he is, but the bottom line here is that it might take me a long time to ever believe in him, now he will have to prove it to me and see what it is like working on a relationship by yourself, like I did for all those years. I am trying to forget but it is very hard to do so. Please pray for me to make the right decision, i am so tired, just wanted this relationship to work, I finally wanted to do everything to have a lasting loving life after two divorces, maybe i just pick the wrong me out, thanks for listening, had to get this off of my mind
I can relate with you a little but the only things different from me n u is I helped him with his kids plus my own n he did not appreciate anything I did for him he drove my car paid no bills came n went when he pleased n if I had anything to say about it he would tell meh grown he do as he please . Did I forget to mention he was sleeping with his own cousin. Now he is n jail n think he can’t treat me I told that loser to kick rocks n don’t drop the soap I might sound bad but that man hurt the hellllllll out of me n my kids
I have a boyfriend and we have been dating for 4 months I love him and cheated on him( i neverThought i would). He decided to take me back, but I can’t undertand why? I want to be with him but I can’t stop thinking the only reason he with me is to get revenge. I love him a lot but at the Same I don’t want to be together and he hates me or is UN happy . What should I do?
So I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about 11 months now, we’ve been going strong and everything had been really good. Until, I heard yesterday from my friend that she had seen him making out with this girl I’ve been suspicious about since he’s told me in the past how she was always flirty with him but he thought she was annoying and not interested. So I heard this rumour and I was so shocked, except he denied it said they just danced me she was like kissing his neck. I talked to the girl and she said she honestly wasn’t completely sure what happened although he was being touchy and kissing her neck from what she remembered. I don’t know what to do, I’m also mainly upset because he never told me this! I heard this rumour from someone else. Advice please!?
I personally don’t agree with the statement ‘once a cheater, always a cheater’
My partner had cheated on me within a few months of our relationship and I didn’t find out till a few months after. Yes, it’s heart breaking to be betrayed by the person you love but I gave him another chance and since then he has never spoke to the girl he cheated on me with and he told me so many times how stupid it was and how he would never do it again and I hope he sticks to what he says.
When it happened we was only 15 so maybe it was a young ‘lad’ moment but regardless we are still together now and it eventually becomes better, but it requires work from both sides. He needs to give you support and regain his trust and we, no matter how hurt we are, it’s better not to always throw what happened back in their face when ever your angry because it only brings those emotions back, and then your back to square one.
Girl I agree with you 100%. I just recently got back with my ex boyfriend who cheated on me like 3 years ago, what happened was..he moved back to his home town and slept with this girl & got her pregnant and he never told me anything and months later I found out from friends what happened while I was on vaca. Then in September we started talking again and he apologized to me and told me everything I needed to know and I took him back. And we doing good, I love him. So I do think guys can change but you have be lucky like us to find those guys. And he doesn’t talk to the baby mama anymore and she moved out of state.
I have a girlfriend and she told me she cheated in july so i told her i needed time to get over it we then started talking again in september and it was goin good i was building trust again but the thought that she cheated is always there now we broke up again and i had sex with one other girl and i was drunk but a week or two after she admitted she had sex with another guy again but she didnt know i had sex so i was as mad but i was because at the time we were back together now also i have this thing about oral sex i like to get it and dont mind giving it back but she would always tell she dosent like to do it and i would get it maybe once in a while like every 5 6 months so it was kinda bad and sex became bad because she was lazy and just wanted to do missionary all the time so on new years i asked her all the things we didnt tell each other on 2012 so i told her about the girl i had sex with and she told me she had sex with another guy and the guy from july was the same guy in november but i had asked her when i first found out did she give him oral sex she said no so she just told me she did and it made me more angrier than i can imagine because i had to beg for it and still didnt get it so everything else was just ok whatever but the fact you gave oral sex to someone and wont give to me and lie to me about alot of others things so in all this i still apologized for having sex with the other girl i felt bad but i felt i needed it but now she thinks im wrong because i said what she did was much more worse than mine it was and its a vivid image in my brain and i cant seem to get it out and i dont think i can work past this its to much for me
I dated my current boyfriend two years ago and I left him for another man, I DID NOT sleep with this man that I left him for. I only talked to him for a few weeks. Just a few months ago I ran into my current boyfriend, who was that guy I left two years ago. We ended up getting back together and getting serious, we even got our own place together. We talked about marriage so heavily and I thought this was a dream come true. I fell in love so hard and I also thought that he had been head over hills for me. Yesterday I found out that he was talking to some girl ever since we moved in together. I confronted him and he admitted that in the beginning of us getting back together, he cheated. While I was at work, he went and slept with her. He claims that is the only time he has ever went and seen her, and that after he realized that him and I were getting really serious all the sexual talk between her and him stopped, BUT he still continued to speak to her almost everyday about life. He has been begging me all night and day for another chance and that he would show me how much he truly loves me. I am at an utter shock, and I cant find words to describe the pain that he has caused me. I love him so much, but I feel like all the wedding talk, ring picking out, dress searching, meant nothing to him. I feel that as if everything I have done is meaningless now. I want to continue to fight for this relationship but I don’t know if I am ever going to be about to stop this pain.
I’ve had boyfriends cheat in the past, and that was the end of it. However, my current boyfriend cheated on me, and I took him back, but it hasn’t been the same since. I took him back because of how much I could see he truly regretted it, and I’ve always been taught that everyone makes mistakes, and sometimes a second chance is necessary. I still love him with all my heart, but I think about what he did to me every day. I still hurt deeply over it, and this happened a few months ago. It’s almost like I resent him now for it, but I don’t want it to be this way. I’m praying it will get better. One thing I learned: The more you love someone, the more they can hurt you.
Im going thru a similar situation with my kids father and boyfriend of three years. We were going through a rough patch this past summer and it seemed like every week i would put him out or hed leave but i never thought he was out cheating. But a female friend of his family that was always around was after him and after a couple monyhs of arguing and fighting they messed around and to make matters worse her boyfriend caught them and stabbed him. He says it was just once and she only gave him oral sex but it still stings to the core. Hesays he will never make a stupid mistake again. Stopped talking to her she started stalking him and me. He got a restraining order on her. But my heart isnt healing fast enough and i am so angry at him deep down sometimes i hate to look at him. He is with me and our kids all the time but the fights still come from the image i cant erase and i explode at times. I want to ask him how could you be so stupid. He knows ive been hurt and cheated before. I feel like if i dont heal its going to brwak us.
So, I was talking to my really good guy friend, and he was scrolling on his phone
Talking about Facebook. When suddenly, because I don’t have a Facebook, he tells me my boyfriend is cheating on me. I was very angry and pretty much went crazy! I really love him, and he told me he loved me with all his heart! I couldn’t believe it. He then wrote a status on fb saying that he never cheated on me, and he gave me his password and logged me on to his fb. He told me to read his messages. As I was reading them, I noticed how everytime he talked about how much he loved me, it was after he gave me his password. So I read on and discovered that he is telling many girls he loves them and wants to have sex with them. All this happened today an yesterday, and I’m not sure what to say to him tomorrow, because I’m really pissed off, and I don’t know how I’m gonna handle it. Any suggestions? What should I do?
I loved the girl and to find that she was’nt loving me, it means i told my self a lie i have 4 years with her on a relation ship and suddenly on the last year:the last year i mean this month 2012-27-11 she was doomed and fooled by a guy cuse the guy uses to give alot of money and give Airtime, she forgot that she is having one guy into her HEART and even now that we broke-UP i still think about her,and even think that she made a mistake she will come along and solve the problem but NO.
the only thinng to think off is to stay alone until you find someone who is going to LOVE and care for YOU, we come from a long way we had alot of problems some of them we tryed to solve but others no, Why cause she is cheakey stubborn she doen’t want to her any SHIT from me, I STILL LOVE HER AND MISS HER more than i can explain it.
advice stay calm and wait for the right LOVE to come to you…
I accused my ex of cheating on me. He told me no he would never do that because he is so in love with me and wants to be with me. I accused him three times in one day and yet he still cried at my feet asking me why I would hurt his feelings. He then broke up with me 4 days later claiming Im too jealous and dont trust him and deny his love. I found out that he had cheated on me days before I he claimed he actually cheated. They are dating now and their anniversary is the day after he broke up with me. How should I feel?
You shoul feel GREAT! Because Now hace a chance ti meet someone that will NoT take You for granted, not lie and so on!
There’s a difference on people who cheat . There’s the person who doesn’t care and leaves you and then There’s the guy who stays and try’s to fix things , if someone sits here and does everything they can to fix what’s broken why wouldn’t you give them a second chance ?
So i was with this girl for 2 years. We had a commited relationship. She wanted a future with us. But when i came back from a trip, i realise she’s with someone else. She cheated on me. But at the same time felt guilty of what she was doing. So i asked her to come back to me. But now since I know what all she’s gone and done with him, i feel like a loser to ask her back. I regret my decision. But at the same time i want to be with her. She doesn’t. So the thing is that, ” When someone treats you like an option, make it simple by removing yourself from the equation. “
My boyfriend and i have been dating for over two years, and a few months after our one year he cheated on me, i took him back i love him. Well a few months after our 2 years i was getting lonely, he was working long hours and well i talked to this guy for like 10 minutes on facebook and said he was cute, and gave him my number we texted maybe 5 texts total before i said i cant do this. My boyfriend went on my facebook for some reason and saw the message between me and this guy and broke up with me.. Now we stil text its only been a few days but he still calls me babe and baby and that stuff and tells me he loves me, i just dont know what to think. I still love him and want to be with him which he knows, ive apologized multiple times. I just dont know what to do from here. I always get the vibe he wants to be together, yet were not.. Help?
I have been with my boyfriend for a year. I habe cheated on him but we broke up for three months and got back together 11 months later he ignored.me and staed with a girl for a month. I took him back. I love him. I think he can changed I use to treat him terribly over a year ago I chaged. And I believe he can. Only time will tell. But if your ment to beyou will en up together.
I have a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now. On his birthday a few weeks ago I had to go home early and he ended up getting a birthday kiss from another girl. Everyone who I talked to that was there said that she was extremely drunk and acting trashy. The story is that she grabbed him and kissed him for a few seconds, not necessarily a make out but an extended kiss. He called me and told me right after it happened. Obviously I was extremely upset and ranted for a little while, I broke it off the next day. He worked really hard to show me that he wanted to be with me and kissed my ass for a long time. Now we’re back together and everything is great like it was before, but when he talks sweet to me on the phone I get a weird feeling. It’s like that is in the back of my head and is almost like a feeling of betrayal or almost a guilt for getting back with him. We’ve talked about it and he said that he feels the same way sometimes. I don’t know what to do. Is this something that will go away with time? Or should we take some time apart? I’m really not angry about it anymore so I don’t feel the need to rant.. I have no idea why I feel like this when I talk to him. Any advice please?
have*
We were on a committed relationship. We had been together for almost 2 years. He cheated on me and confessed the next day. He asked for forgiveness. He knew this was the one thing I would never accept. But I was really weak. I forgave him. But I couldnt forgive myself . It started messing with my head. I started to get mad at no reason, I couldnt trust him. And I couldnt help but bring out the fact that he cheated on me in every argument we had. After fighting within myself for almost 6 months I just gave up . I feel bad for our relationship but I feel good I finally am getting better. Yeah, I am trust issues now. But I guess, that is the drawback of being cheated on . And I hope when the first person comes, I wont have them anymore. So…yeah dont take him back because eventually you’ll resent it no matter how great is the relationship.
i feel for you it very painful to and never being loved im so sorry just wait for the right guy to come and LOVE you I me loved someon e for 4 year but to find that we brake up by three days but i can’t blame my self cause i did not do dad things cause she’s the one who started and ended it again so…
IM SORRY wait for the right time to come