Boards
What is a Secret Keeper Girl? A girl who keeps her body a secret and who only shares her secret with her husband.
I’m not making fun of girls who choose to wait or the ones who do so for religious reasons, that’s totally their decision. However, I will make fun of this website because it’s hilariously oppressive to women.
Here’s an excerpt:
“Test: Raise and Praise
Target Question: “Am I showing too much belly?”
Action: Stand up straight and pretend you are going for it in worship, and extend your arms in the air to God. Is this exposing a lot of belly? Bellies are very intoxicating, and we need to save that for our husband!”
There is no Secret Keeper Boy website. I wonder why? Oh, you know, because guys are expected to behave like horny toads. Boys will be boys! They can’t control themselves, especially when they see a girl as cool as you wearing a cropped top and leggings. How dare you?! Knowing how boys behave, it’s totally your fault for entering their fields of vision and driving them CRAZY.
No, there’s no website that teaches boys that girls are probably just wearing tank tops because it’s summer and not because they want male attention. No, there’s no website that teaches boys that they’re aroused because of hormones and not because girls are constantly trying to seduce them. No, there’s no website that teaches boys to cover up from head to toe–girls hate sex, remember?
*Eye roll* Teaching pre-teen girls to be ashamed of their bodies and sexuality? Not cool. If you want to dress modestly. That’s cool. If you want your first time to be something special. That’s cool. It’s your choice. It’s not the choice of some kooky organization.
Convincing girls that it’s their responsibility to stop men from desiring them is the very reason many rape and sexual assault victims blame themselves. You went home with him. It’s your fault. You wore that short dress. It’s your fault. You flirted with him. It’s your fault. Men can’t be controlled, you know that!
We should be teaching pre-teen girls about sexuality, provide them with information about their bodies, and how they’re normal not shameful. We should teach boys about their bodies too, that no really does mean no, and that girls aren’t created for their sexual satisfaction.
What do you think of Secret Keeper Girl? Is it another way of slut shaming? Let us know in the comments!
You guys are idiots. The problem the author of this post is trying to highlight is that Secret Keeper Girl encourages the idea that men are just innocent slaves to their hormones and that if they assault or even just stare at a girl it’s her fault for not dressing modestly enough, like they can’t control themselves just as well as we can. We should be teaching girls that they are never to blame for their being raped and they don’t have to change what they wear just to try and make life easier to rapists, and also teaching boys that rape is never ok, and that women should be treated with the same level of respect no matter what they wear. Either that or they can start promoting modesty in boys as well, and make it more equal.
The website has an obvious bias that is directed at mother-daughter relationships that exist under the Christian religion. As far as I have looked into it, the website and cause behind it actually promote self love of their bodies as they are, something constantly being ripped apart by the media. With that in mind, it doesn’t target girls as sexual gifts to be opened on their wedding night by the big man who can do whatever he wants before marriage, but instead seems to promote the idea that a young girl’s body should be seen as her own to be dressed as her mother allows her to. In the grand scheme of things, it would be ideal to have a sister or brother website for boys under the same ideas to equalize the information barage against whatever “worldly” ideas (stuff related to boys will be boys) under the Christian religion. From my quick parosal through google, no one has cared enough to do so, but it would definitely equal the playing field a bit. Yes, it gets very, very infuriating when boys get a free pass in this department. Yes, we have to be careful of media promoting victim baming. However, the website is a tool for Christian mothers to aid in their girls’ attire as well as helping them see their bodies as something God says is “Very good. Exactly as I need her to be.” (according to the website’s daily devotional). In my opinion, preteen girls shouldn’t have to worry as much about looking “appropriate,” but the website is meant to get Christian moms to buy their books and see them in concert, so they’ll sell what interests the moms most, which usually is keeping their daughters “pure.”
If it were up to me, they would be focusing on getting the boys to treat girls with respect more than getting the girls geared up to defend themselves from what one in three women face.
I’m Christian, and I dress modestly. I found this freaking hilarious! I bust out laughing when they said “Bellies are very intoxicating”. Awesome article.
I find this post very offensive as well. I’m Christian, and I think that modesty is part of our beliefs and for someone to be so biased and not even consider what Secret Keeper is trying to say, that is ignorant. At least from my stand point, Secret Keeper isn’t telling girls to be ashamed in their bodies.. It’s to love yourself and your body enough that you don’t feel the need to get extra attention by flaunting everything and that boys will notice your true beauty much easier when their judgment isn’t clouded by thoughts of lust. And, it’s not saying that it’s girls’ fault that boys look and are lustful.. it’s saying that if you don’t give them something to look at, your not only helping to keep yourself pure, you’re helping them to stay pure as well by keeping their focus away from certain thoughts and feelings. I’ve looked at the Secret Keeper book, and though it’s honestly, a bit too modest for my taste, I have seen absolutely NOTHING that says it is ever a girl’s fault when she is sexually assaulted. Anyways, that’s just my opinion and I wanted to try to help you see it from another point of view.
i’m totally offended by this post
To an extent Secret Keeper is right, if you dress bad then guys will get that impression of you, but what the guy does isn’t the girl’s fault. To be honest if I saw a girl with her tits spilling out of her shirt and a skirt short enough that with every step you can see her panties than I’ll think she’s a bimbo, sorry but it’s true: people will paritally judge you based on your dress. If you dress very provacatively then people won’t take you seriously. But a girl can get raped or have a guy flirt with her and be pushy about it. I wore a pair of looser skinny’s and t-shirt that didn’t show cleavage and a slightly drunk guy a year older than me (this was Amsterdam drinking laws there differ from the US) flirted with me while my other friend that wore a near too short skirt with a halter top on the other side of the tram and they left her alone the whole ride.