I’m Addicted To Coffee

I had my first cup at 4 years old. This was the beginning of my strange addiction.

It was 4 cups a day in high school. When I was 15, I discovered Starbucks. Who knew coffee could be cold, creamy, shaken and with whipped cream? Yum. When I lost my sweet tooth senior year, I went straight black. “In your biggest size, please!”

In college it was just plain awful. The stress of being in a new town, with new people, and so much more work than I was used to. This is when my comfort food became a really bad habit.

I’d drink so much coffee that I couldn’t sleep at night. No matter how tired I’d get I was too wired to rest. My mind would race and I’d stay up all night worrying about the things I had to do.

The scariest part was when I would get sleep paralysis. Sleep paralysis (in a nutshell) is when your body is asleep but your brain is awake. It feels like you’re wide awake, but you can’t move your body at all. It’s almost as if someone has tied you to your mattress. This would happen a few times a night sometimes. It was horrible–but that didn’t stop me.

I drank so much caffeine that I gave myself a stomach ulcer. A stomach ulcer is by definition a hole in your stomach. I was able to cut back out of fear, but that wasn’t the end. As soon as I was better I just did the same thing all over again. Yep, another ulcer. Then I’d slow down with the cups of joe, heal, and then again, another ulcer. Insanity.

On top of it all this was seriously costing me the big bucks. I am totally embarrassed to say this but at one point I was spending around $75 a week on coffee. No, I definitely could not afford it.

I know there are people out there with pretty serious, dangerous addictions–I’m not trying to belittle those. Coffee, for me, was this familiar comforting thing that (at first) made it easier to cope. It was something I once shared with my family and friends, it made me happy, and when I was down it reminded me of those nicer moments.

In moderation it’s fine, but for me it became a severe disruption and health issue. I wasn’t sleeping and I was hurting my body. It stopped being comforting and became the source of a whole lot of discomfort. The only probably was: I love coffee. I love the taste of it. I love the experience of going to a coffee shop with my friends. I love trying new bolder or exotic blends. I didn’t and don’t want to give it up. But just like with most addictions trying to cut back doesn’t work–you just end up at square one again.

So I compromised. I can have one fully caffeinated cup, large sized even, in the morning, once a day. Then if I am craving the taste (which I tend to) I can have decaf. As much decaf as I want! It’s not exactly the same, but it gets the job done.

Do you have any vices or addictions? Let us know in the comments.

And don’t forget to Follow Us On Twitter!

Next check out Confession: I’m A Secret Blonde


Posted in: Confessions
Tags: , , , ,

12 Comments

  1. avatarEmily says:

    A couple years back I was working in a school.. (get this, high school! yup I was hired even though I was pretty much the same age as all those still in school haha – one of my friends says she remembers this totally hysterical moment when I was brought into her class room and announced as ‘Mrs. Beckett is not feeling well today and Ms. Dowel will be filling in for her today’ teacher assistant) but I was basically working with 40-55yr olds and they were all pretty intense coffee drinkers and I was er.. trying to hide my age by showing off my own coffee drinking skills.. I got to a point where I was drinking 8 cups per day – the results were a lot of stomach noises one day (so awkward!) and crazy strong jitters. After all that, it turned out that they all knew I was 17 anyway..
    I don’t drink 8 cups anymore… I usually drink 2 cups per day now.

  2. avatarstarryphoenix says:

    you think its harmless, but right now I’m trying to go cold turkey from coffee and its horrible. I am sure I am caffiene dependent.

  3. avatarsade says:

    i am totally addicted to coffee too!

  4. avatarsweattasefsd says:

    Home-

  5. avatarJoelle says:

    Try tea ! I think its so much more tastier anyways ! :))

  6. avatarAshley says:

    Really? I drink Starbucks at least once every 3 weeks.

  7. avatarAlex says:

    I was drinking a cup of coffee while reading this….0.o

  8. avatarAnnaMarie says:

    I hate coffee, but I do tend to not eat and over-exercise, when I’m stressed, something that has happened due to being a recovering anorexic.

    • avatarSierra says:

      I, too am a recovering anorexic. I drank coffee to stop me from passing out and as a way to have energy. More power to you.

  9. avatarSierra says:

    I am also addicted to coffee. Sometimes I will drink 3 pots a day, or three or four coffees from a Starbucks or coffee hut. I am not yet recovering.

Leave Your Comment

Your email address will not be published.

*

*