What Not To Put In Your Vagina

in your vagina

Don’t put any old thing in your vagina–especially not drugs! | Source: Shutterstock


Here’s a little story about why you should be careful with what you put in your vagina, girls.

A woman pulled over as a passenger in a traffic stop got arrested for being caught with weed and lotsa pills–but it got scarier once she got the police station. This woman was also smuggling a whole load of oxycodone pills … in her vagina! What the eff?! If the pill capsules broke, this chick could have died. Not smart, ladies!

Listen, it’s up to you what you put in your vagina. But try not to put anything in there that could kill you. And dude, there’s all kinds of awesome things you can put in your vagina that aren’t illegal or dangerous!

Here are some things we’d recommend putting in your vagina, if you’re so inclined:
 
 

Fingers!

They can be yours or someone else’s. Just make sure if they’re going in your vagina that the hands are clean, the person is cool, and the nails aren’t sharp. Ouch!

 
 

Sex toys!

As long as it’s clean (and, if necessary, charged up), all shapes, sizes, colors, and mechanisms of sex toys are welcome in your vagina, whether you’re flying solo or hooking up with a partner you trust.

 
 

A real, live penis!

If you dig a guy and he digs condoms (and getting tested!), and you feel like you’re ready, feel free to put his junk in your vagina. Just be responsible. But you knew that, because you’re smart. By the way: Note that a real one probably won’t be quite as hard as the one pictured here!
 
 
And here are some things you shouldn’t ever put in your vagina:

 

Drugs or alcohol

From vodka-soaked tampons to oxycodone pills like the crazy lady who got arrested, just because something fits in your vagina doesn’t mean it should go in your vagina. Putting anything chemical in your vagina is super dangerous–not only could you potentially OD or worse, it also opens you up to a whole lot of infections and irritation. And that will make putting anything else in your vagina a lot harder and more painful later.

 
 

Food

Food in the bedroom can be a turn on, sure. But putting food of any kind in your vagina isn’t the best idea: some foods are acidic, which can irritate your skin and pH balance (and be super uncomfortable). And if a guy insists he needs something literally edible to go down there, then that’s a guy who shouldn’t be anywhere near your vagina–let alone thinking of getting in your vagina. Just because a prickly pear is edible doesn’t mean it belongs down there. Yowza!

 
 

Douches

Whether it’s the Summer’s Eve kind or The Situation variety, you do not want a douche in your vagina. The literal douches will cause irritation and screw up the natural balance in your vagina, causing irritation and infections. Figurative douches don’t deserve to be in your vagina–and if they do get there, they won’t treat you with respect (and will, like their literal counterparts, cause irritation of a different kind!). To reiterate: Never, ever let a douche of any kind in your vagina.

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve heard of someone putting in their vagina? Have you ever considered putting something weird in your vagina? Tell us in the comments!

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63 Comments

  1. avatarNatalie Portman. says:

    I put hot dogs in the freezer then I put the in my dads condoms I found and I stick it up my vagina is that bad?

  2. avatarSexybabe says:

    Is it okay that I put my fingers in my pussy while having sex with my boyfriends penis in me?? It usallt feels really good.

  3. avatarLily says:

    I know someone who stuck a cat in her vagina. She thought that was why they were called pussy cats.

  4. avatarpushpop says:

    Would olive oil or vegetable oil be okay??

  5. avatarKyrie says:

    I stuck the chair up the end of my girlfriends vagina… I also stuck my foot up my girlfriend named Candice… Yes I’m a lesbian don’t judge

  6. avatarHilary says:

    1. It’s a sin to masturbate
    I heard a girl say that her girlfriend puts her foot in her vagina is that even possible?

  7. avatarMe says:

    Hmm… not good idea

  8. avatarname less says:

    I stuck the tv remote for the foxtel up my pussy once. it felt great, I recommend it to all women

  9. avatarHanna says:

    Is it ok to put a end of a marker in there

  10. avatarUnknown says:

    I remember hearing about a girl who stuck a hot dog in her vagina and had o go to the hospital twice because it got stuck in there. What I would like to know is: What household items can you stick up your vagina?

  11. avatarAnnabelle says:

    Hi… I have had a really bad habit of sticking toilet paper up there after I use the restroom. Is this okay on kidneys??? Cause I know that your uterus and kidneys are like connected

  12. avatardonna says:

    putting vinegar in your vagina?

  13. avatarSteph says:

    I put a DOUCHE up my vagina only ONCE when i was 16 will it still have bad effects on me?

    • avatarcarrzkiss says:

      No it will not. A douche is used to cleanse out your system. It is about like taking water instead. All a douche is (In most) is vinegar and water.
      However, there are some that come with different fragrances, and this could cause infections, so, I would stay away from anything that has a fragrance in it.
      simply put, Summers Eve Vinegar and Water with NO fragrances, should be OK for you.

      Short story.
      My son’s mother used a Summer’s Eve with a Autumn fragrance in it.
      Though it smelt good, 2 days later, I took her to the emergency room, due to cramps.
      The Dr. checked her out, and said she had an infection, and he could tell that it was caused by the use of a douche.
      He prescribed a medicine that came in a douche applicator, and I had to use it on her for 4 days. It consisted of: Vinegar, Water, and Medication.
      (I had to apply it, as she was to tender and sour to do it herself)
      The Dr. then stated, that from now on, she is to only use the douche that comes WITHOUT fragrances in it.

      All women are different, you just need to see for yourself.
      Plain is always better.

      Good Luck

  14. avatarGina says:

    I love to masturbate and I do twice daily, often while my BF watches and participates.

  15. avatarGina says:

    I put a vibrating eggin my vagina while at work.

  16. avatarJakayla says:

    I heard about this chick who tried to stick a small foam football up hers in front of a few people at a party o_o

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