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Don’t put any old thing in your vagina–especially not drugs! | Source: Shutterstock
Here’s a little story about why you should be careful with what you put in your vagina, girls.
A woman pulled over as a passenger in a traffic stop got arrested for being caught with weed and lotsa pills–but it got scarier once she got the police station. This woman was also smuggling a whole load of oxycodone pills … in her vagina! What the eff?! If the pill capsules broke, this chick could have died. Not smart, ladies!
Listen, it’s up to you what you put in your vagina. But try not to put anything in there that could kill you. And dude, there’s all kinds of awesome things you can put in your vagina that aren’t illegal or dangerous!
Here are some things we’d recommend putting in your vagina, if you’re so inclined:
Fingers!
They can be yours or someone else’s. Just make sure if they’re going in your vagina that the hands are clean, the person is cool, and the nails aren’t sharp. Ouch!
Sex toys!
As long as it’s clean (and, if necessary, charged up), all shapes, sizes, colors, and mechanisms of sex toys are welcome in your vagina, whether you’re flying solo or hooking up with a partner you trust.
A real, live penis!
If you dig a guy and he digs condoms (and getting tested!), and you feel like you’re ready, feel free to put his junk in your vagina. Just be responsible. But you knew that, because you’re smart. By the way: Note that a real one probably won’t be quite as hard as the one pictured here!
And here are some things you shouldn’t ever put in your vagina:
Drugs or alcohol
From vodka-soaked tampons to oxycodone pills like the crazy lady who got arrested, just because something fits in your vagina doesn’t mean it should go in your vagina. Putting anything chemical in your vagina is super dangerous–not only could you potentially OD or worse, it also opens you up to a whole lot of infections and irritation. And that will make putting anything else in your vagina a lot harder and more painful later.
Food
Food in the bedroom can be a turn on, sure. But putting food of any kind in your vagina isn’t the best idea: some foods are acidic, which can irritate your skin and pH balance (and be super uncomfortable). And if a guy insists he needs something literally edible to go down there, then that’s a guy who shouldn’t be anywhere near your vagina–let alone thinking of getting in your vagina. Just because a prickly pear is edible doesn’t mean it belongs down there. Yowza!
Douches
Whether it’s the Summer’s Eve kind or The Situation variety, you do not want a douche in your vagina. The literal douches will cause irritation and screw up the natural balance in your vagina, causing irritation and infections. Figurative douches don’t deserve to be in your vagina–and if they do get there, they won’t treat you with respect (and will, like their literal counterparts, cause irritation of a different kind!). To reiterate: Never, ever let a douche of any kind in your vagina.
What’s the weirdest thing you’ve heard of someone putting in their vagina? Have you ever considered putting something weird in your vagina? Tell us in the comments!
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That don’t help me I am 13
i sometimes use a shower head
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Can you use a stuffed sock with a pencil inside i heard it works well xx
I often use a marker, pen, and my fingers.
Would it hurt u or kill u
I often use like pens or like something like that also I love to use the end of hair brushes!!!!
One time a friend of mine was so dumb that she took a scrwe drive and put it up thar
wow girl thats not to bright the things ladies will do to get them off …like putting a screwdriver in thare ouch ….a penis is the perfect tool to use…or a mans mouth with out herps….his nice tounge will do it for me oooooooh baby….im cumming allready …
I use the end of a hairbrush soooo gooood…
Same here. Mhmmm.
Have you started craving flies
yet?
I love sex and masterbating. Its so fun.
I like to finger my self and it is so fun you just want to do is more and more try it
i stuff my vag with seafood regerlerly it does not hurt or kill me
i masterbate daily with a vibrator but i cum better with a cucumber and i am masterbating every day
i used a pen once yep still do
I put a dildo or vibrator it feels good yeah kinda
I woudnt put fingers i would just touch my pussy and rub it
On the GURL.com topic what you can and can NOT put in your anus! Sick sad world we have
i havnt even read the story but just reading the comments im not GONNA read the story! lol EW
I once went swimming then a week later a tadpole fell out in the shower. I was worried. They have begun to appear in irregular intervals, and I think they’re getting larger! Please, I really need help!
GO. TO. A. DOCTOR.
You had a frog go into your crotch and lay eggs?! Sabrina Ahmed, what were you DOING in that pond?! For a frog to get into your… Wow. Kids These Days! We got gangs, drugs, and frogs swimming into asses/vaginas! What kinda world are we living in?!
REALLY, I had a guy friend relate a horrifying experience with his girlfriend.
Seems they were getting a little freaky and were playing a little “9 1/2 Weeks”. From health class you get examples for applying condoms using zucchini, cucumbers, or even a BANANA. Unfortunately for our young heroine, he peeled and inserted. It went in just fine, but it did NOT come out that way. The last thing you need is a “little fruit in your looms”!
I’m starting to wonder just how stupid the gurl.com writers think we are. Maybe its tongue- in cheek, but do you really think we need to be reminded to not put FOOD, DRUGS, OR ALCOHOL up our vaginas? Give me a break.
How about a fact a lot of girls DON’T know, then? Masturbating with objects is ok and *usually* safe (your vagina will thank you for using objects that are pliable), however, masturbating with an open bottle (shampoo, soda, etc.) is straight-up dangerous. The opening means that suction will occur, and that at some point, the user may no longer be able to remove the bottle. Nobody wants to go to the doctor because she needs someone to shatter the bottle that’s stuck hanging out of her vagina. Keep some sort of cap/cork on the bottle, or use something else.
Thought of another! You know how the article says food can upset your vagina’s pH balance? One of the reasons for a whacked-out balance can ALSO be sugar (which is why fruit, sweet syrups, etc. are icky icky icky to put down there – nobody wants a yeast infection). Did you know some lubes – which are MEANT to go in your vagina – contain sugar, in the form of glycerin??? It’s true, and is in common water-based (aka safe with condoms) lubes like KY and Astroglide. Also, other lubes can contain an ingredient called Propylene Glycol, which is metabolized into lactic acid and can cause a burning sensation, which you also don’t want. Introducing these ingredients into the vaginal region can cause yeast infections and/or irritation to some women. If you’re going to buy lube, it’s worth a little research first.
Yeah I don’t understand how stupid some girls are. On this site I’ve read of a girl who was masterbating with cucumber and another with an egg. Wtf use your fingers!
Actually it is very safe to use a cucumber!!!!!
Some people are dumb enough they need to be told…for example, the same reason they had to print the words HOT on the cups of coffee from mcdonalds… there are true idiots out there
Miss you kia..
Seriously? That’s kind of stupid, I mean you could find somewhere else to hide those…rather than your vagina. I don’t know…but I once came across this video on the internet (some porn site I came across) and it was titled ‘Sweet Fruit’ and I was curious so I clicked it and ….OHMYGOD. This lady put a whole apple in her vagina, a banana (all the way), a pear (Ouch!), some strawberries tied together on a string and last but NOT LEAST, an orange. Mmhm, OUCH. Seriously? That’s so not right…
I love how she put Mike as the picture for douche xD
omfg like why would she put that down there like cant you hide it some were else … !!!!! O_o