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How do you keep both of them happy? | Source: ShutterStock
Hey Heather,
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for one year and I spend a lot of time with him. I know my best friend gets mad about it sometimes. So how can I make time for my boyfriend and my best friend without making either of them feel jealous?
It’s great that you realize that you need to make time for both of these super important people in your life. Sometimes, a new relationship is so fun and time consuming that it’s easy to forget about your friends. I’m sure you have other things going on in your life besides just your boyfriend and best friend, so honestly, it might take a little work to keep them both happy, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible.
The first thing you should do is talk to both of them, separately. Tell your BF that while you love spending tons of time with him, you need to make a little room in your schedule for your BFF. Explain that she misses you and her friendship is important to you, so you need to set aside a few days a week for just girl time. If you feel like you’ve been a little absent from your BFF’s life, apologize. Let her know that while you might not always be around as much as you used to be, you’ll do your best to be there as often as possible.
Next, try to make a schedule. Is there a specific day of the week you and your BF always hang out, like Tuesdays and Saturdays? If so, set aside your Tuesdays and Saturdays for your boyfriend… and your Mondays and Fridays for your bestie. You don’t have to stick to that schedule every single week, but having plans in advance will definitely help you manage your time better.
Your bestie is just as important as your boyfriend | Source: ShutterStock
If you go a few days without seeing one of them, make sure you keep in touch. It can be a long phone call before bed, or even something as simple as a quick text message. This will probably apply more to your BFF, but just keep her updated with what’s going on if you’ve been with your boyfriend for a few days. A quick, “Hi, miss you!” text will make her realize you haven’t forgotten her and pushed her to the side.
Oh, if you do make plans in advance, try your hardest to keep them. Don’t blow off your bestie just because you want to cuddle with your boyfriend – that will leave her feeling totally left out and angry. Also keep in mind that while it’s fine to bring your BF along once in a while, don’t make your BFF feel like a third wheel during every hang-out sesh.
Lastly, remember that your main job in life is not to keep these two happy. Sometimes, there’s always going to be one disappointed person, and that’s not your fault. While you should be making time for both of them, you shouldn’t be killing yourself to keep a smile on their faces. Your happiness matters, too!
take care,
Heather
What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com
How do you get a creepy dude to leave you alone?
This is tricky. When my best friend got her boyfriend, she started to spend less and less time with me. I felt lonely because I realized I had no one around to talk to anymore. It made me do some really stupid things and made me think of suicide. Remember your bestie when you have a man because it effects us a lot more than you think.
Dear Heather,
I feel REALLY ugly. I’m not a gorgeous blonde haired, blue eyed white girl (Not to offend).
I’m a 13 year old 5ft skinny, medium skin, dark brown SUPER CURLY hair, brown eyes.
I havent gotten my braces yet! So theres a small, noticeable, gap in my front teeth.
Lately I’ve been getting looks (good ones I think), and usually they make a girl feel good about herself. To me, its not helping. I’m not getting attention from the “right” guys, if you catch my drift. Sure, they’re cute, but not always the cutest, sweetest guys ever.
I need some help, self esteem boosts, beauty advice, flirting advice, anything you can give me.
But, I’d like to say that on occasion I think I look pretty. For example, I could be using a new shimmery eye shadow or new lipgloss, or my curls are tamed. But then there are those days when I see pretty girls with straight hair or nice bodies and I feel totally hideous. Please Help!
i hang out with my bf ALOT!!!!!! And i never get time to be with my bff.
hang out with your friend and boyfriend at the same time!! go to the movies go swimming do something fun…if he trynna keep you away from your friend let him go!!! how would you feel if your friend never hung out with you becuz her boyfriend is always in the way!!!
I try my best to split my time. Though it does tend to favor my boyfriend though I’m sure that at least once a week there’s a girl’s day and no matter what I’m sure to talk to her everyday.
She has voiced that I’ve been spending less time with her, but I have another significant person in my life, so yes there will be less but I have no intent to abandon her or anything of the sort.