My First Break Up: How Not To Break Up With Someone

Breaking Up

What can I say, breaking up is tough! | Source: ShutterStock

Breaking up with someone is a pretty personal thing. It should be done in person, while looking the other person in the face and explaining the truth to them. It shouldn’t be done online, over the phone, through text messages or via Facebook relationship statuses. But the most major no-no of all is definitely having someone else do it for you. I wish someone had explained this to my 14-year-old self, but no one ever did (or maybe I just didn’t want to listen), because the first time I dumped someone, I totally messed up. Here’s my story:

I met my very first boyfriend ever, let’s call him D, when I was a freshmen in high school. After months of flirting online during all hours of the night, D and I finally got together. And by that, I mean D finally took the plunge and asked me to be his girlfriend – over AOL Instant Messenger, of course. I know, super romantic, right?

After years spent putting my Catholic school education to good use and praying for a boyfriend every night (I literally cringe thinking about that), I was ecstatic to finally be someone’s girlfriend. It wasn’t even about hanging out with him, hooking up or having someone to lean on. Nah, it was more about decorating my AIM profile with “our date” surrounded by little hearts and stars, and getting to casually throw in “My boyfriend said…” when talking to anyone in the universe. Thinking back, maybe I wasn’t really ready for a relationship.

It might be scary, but it’s best to do it yourself. | Source: ShutterStock

Anyway, D and I were as smitten with each other as two very young, immature people can be. We dated for a month, but during that time, I think we only hung out once. We spent most of our time talking and flirting on (you guessed it) AIM and sometimes on the phone. Obviously, we said “I love you”, even though neither of us really understood those words. But we didn’t hang out with the same group of people, we had opposite schedules and we really had nothing in common except for the fact that we went to the same school.

Around the time of our one-month anniversary, I started getting bored. Yeah, calling D my BF and getting to put up cutesy away messages was cool and all, but I barely saw the guy. When I went to parties with my friends, I noticed cute dudes all around me. How was I supposed to flirt with them when I was supposed to be in love with someone else? It didn’t take long to realize that I was so over D.

The next week at school, I confessed my feelings to my best friend. I told her I wanted to end things, but I was scared.

“OMG. Let me do it! I can do it for you. It’ll be so much easier,” she said, way too excited by this idea.

At first, I told her no. But then I thought about IMing D later to tell him I didn’t want to see him anymore. I thought about the awkwardness of that convo. Did I really want to do that? Nah, not really. So, I let my BFF do my dirty work.

Right before the school day ended, she found D at his locker. She poked him on the back. “Jessica doesn’t want to go out with you anymore,” she said.

“Why?” he asked, totally confused.

Yeah… not exactly my reaction. | Source: ShutterStock

“I don’t know. She just doesn’t. So I’m breaking up with you for her.”

And that was the end of that – D and I were officially over. I stayed off AIM for a few days and ignored his angry looks in the hallway. By the end of the week, everyone in school knew my BFF had dumped him for me… and everyone teased me about it. Plus, D kind of hated me forever.

I know it was a really long time ago, but I still feel kind of guilty about it to this day. Okay, yeah, my friends and I laugh about it constantly, but still… that is definitely not the way to end things with anybody. Take it from me: man up and do it yourself.

Have you ever broken up with someone? How did you do it? What was your first breakup like? Tell us in the comments!


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  • cherry

    I never believed i could be happy again in my life, until i came in contact with this great man( who God used in helping me, am writing this testimony with tears of joy rolling down from my eyes,i have been in relationship with Phillip for good 12 years i was 15 years old when we started the relationship and now am 27 years old i loved Phillip and he loves me too,December 2011 that was when were suppose to do our wedding but surprisingly Phillip changed to something else, his attitude was very bad towards me and this lead to quarreling and misunderstanding between us because Phillip has never acted like this before,so due to the quarreling and all that Phillip left the house and never called me nor text me for Good 1 year he changed his number, i was so worried i tried all i could to reach him but there was no way, i felt like dieing i was confused and frustrated, so i had to try spells to see if that can bring him back to me, i contacted so many spell caster who happens to be scams, i spent a lot of money i even took a loan of 70,000usd just to get him back all this money went in vain and i did not see any result was confused,i wanted to commit suicide but a friend keep on encouraging and giving me hope,she was always with me to keep me company,one day she came with her friend who just came to visit her and found my condition she asked what is the matter then i told her everything how i lost my love and my money,then she told me not to worry that my lover will come back to me,with the help of Dr Adodo who has been helping a lot of people in San Jose Ca, and also helped her too,then she gave me his contact and i contacted him and told him everything he just laughed and told me that my case is settled,that my love will come back to me,in the next 24hours, then i heard to watch and see, in the 24hours i was inside when somebody came in guess who i could see, it was Phillip i was shocked, he went on his knees he was pleading and begging me to forgive him which i did, and now we are happily married and he paid all the money which i borrowed,thanks to Dr Adodo for helping me you can contact him via (

  • chrissi393

    In grade 10 i got my first boyfriend – and now that I look back on it (one year later) I think I more wanted a “boyfriend” than wanted HIM to be my boyfriend. We ended up dating for a week and a half, maybe 2 weeks. Mostly we talked through text, we never kissed. He went to a different school than I and we only met because of this school program he was in. I ended up breaking up with him through text but with my luck he didn’t get it. So i sent the text to my friend and she showed it to him (she was in the same school program). I felt horrible, and I still do, but I feel more horrible that i went out with him in the first place when i didnt even like him. Eventually him and my other friend started dating, which i 100% supported. she broke up with him 2 weeks later too though :p

  • Ami

    i just broke up with my boyfriend today and had his best friend do it for me. Thank god it wasn’t like your experience. I talked to him later though. He was fine, abd didn’t hate me at all.

  • Juanita

    My eighth grade boyfriend put “Just broke up with my girlfriend” (with many more spelling errors, I assure you) as his MySpace status and I didn’t see it for two days. Which also explains why he didn’t return my text messages.

  • shawtybadd123

    this boy dumped me in second grade and i went crazy! i flipped over chairs and yelling like a maniac!”you are nothing without me rememba that you are nothin!i know you left me for that ho i know it!” we went out for less than 20 minutes….

  • shawtybadd123

    me and this boy went to different schools so when i found out he had 4 other girlfriends i told my bff that goes to his school to tell him i said its over

  • Kate

    One of my best girlfriends was dating my best guy friend. She asked me to break up with him for her, so I did. I was known from then on as “Heartbreaker” for my whole 7th grade year.

  • lona

    In 8th grade, my friend, tried to break up with a guy thru a rap song. Thank god, i talked her out of it. She also tried leaving a note in his locker. In the end she just avoided him like the plague, untill he got the message, it was over.

  • Pao-ri

    I was 14 and I dumped him over the phone, just a few months ago. He was my first boyfriend and I was his 3 gf. Moving on was hard because he was my first and also when your friends arent there to support you, while you see him all happy on facebook. We were going out for almost 5 months until he did something stupid. I remember that I was having second thoughts if we two break up or not after what he did.we were talking on the phone and asks what I thought about what he did and of course I told him what I thought. Then a friend of his came over to his house while we were talking and stuff. Then he was saying everything I said then they started laughing. Then blahx2 we eventually broke up because he wasn’t the same person I used to know. He was mean and cold plus the things he did was bad. Oh yeah, when we were still together he said he stays friends with his ex’s which is true until it came to me and we never did have any contacts since. No message no phone calls to fix everything up.

  • Adrianne

    When i was 10(yeah i know i was really young) i dated a guy for not even a full day. I always wanted to be in a relationship but when i was in one it felt wierd. So i asked my bestfriend to break up with him for me at recess. And me and him never really talked again.

  • Cookiess

    Well i had break this gurl haert iam so sorry! HEARTS !<3 too Jazzy

    • darya

      me and my boyfreind was breack up cuz hes so far away with me 🙁 WE BREAK UP 31-1-1012