I know some of my girl friends comment on what boys’ penises look like. Are boys the same as girls in that way? Do they judge us by how our vaginas look? Do they talk about what our vaginas are like with their friends?
Sure, we talk about your vaginas (this is already sounding a little bit creepy…), but not any more than you talk about our penises (yup, definitely creepy). In fact, perhaps because variations in penises matter more to women during sex, I’d argue that women are more critical of male genitalia than men are of their female counterparts. Meanwhile, movies, TV, and advertisements for “male enhancement” products only fuel the Small Penis Syndrome epidemic. Just as women like to talk about penises, men spend much more time discussing similarly externalized female features such as breasts and butts!
So, although the characteristics of any vagina can be the subject of praise or criticism amongst male friends, in my experience, it honestly doesn’t happen all that often. And very rarely have I ever encountered a guy who “judges” a girl based on her vagina. Maybe a less experienced dude encountering an abnormality (e.g. infection, a growth, a hygiene issue, etc.) might panic and tell his buddies rather than confront a girl directly. But a mature guy would never immediately dismiss you because of the size or shape of your genitals. “Proportionate vaginal dimensions” just isn’t a category I’ve ever seen on any guys’ Potential Girlfriend Checklist.
What’s most important is that regardless of what he thinks, if a guy really loves and respects you (i.e. there’s relationship potential), he shouldn’t be talking about your “goods” in detail with his friends. If you discover that a dude you have feelings for is blabbing to his friends about stuff you’d rather keep private—whether positive or negative—you need to administer a stern warning that you’re not cool with it. Should he breach your confidentiality again, you could be dating a troublemaker not to be trusted — with your vagina, or any other part of your body!
Ethan Fixell is a writer and comedian from New York City best known as one half of comic “dating coach” duo Dave and Ethan. He is also the creator and editor of ActualConversation.com. For more on Ethan, visit EthanFixell.com…or call his mom, Robin.