Wait. They Were Masturbating In Class?!

masturbating in class gay test

What the Hell is a “gay test” and how did it lead to masturbating in class?! | Source: Shutterstock

If you thought the guys at your school were insane, get a load of this. Nine students in a San Diego middle school were suspended for masturbating in class. What’s more? They were doing so while watching gay porn on their cell phones in a “gay test“–if they got turned on, then it meant (to no one but these idiots themselves) that they were gay.

I don’t even know where to start. There’s a whole lot of “WTF?!” going on here. First of all, uh, why would anyone want to start masturbating in class for any reason? Second, whose business is it if someone else is a homosexual–and since when is there some deranged “gay test” to prove it? Third, why on Earth did these nuts think they’d get away with masturbating in class with a room full of other students and a teacher present?

Several other students tried to get the creeps to knock it off–they even told their teacher what was up, but according to most accounts of the incident, the teacher didn’t witness the kids masturbating in class himself, so he initially gave the guys a warning. The “gay test” takers were only suspended later when a different school administrator was informed of the situation.

Let’s be real, it’s unlikely that the students would be rubbing one out in full view of their instructor, so chances are they found some way to conceal their handies, or only did it when the teacher’s back was turned. We can’t blame the teacher for not flipping out at the first warning of kids masturbating in class, because, honestly, it’s a pretty preposterous thing for anyone to be accused of–and because he may not have seen it with his own eyes, he may legit have not believed it was really happening.

But at the same time, why would anyone else make that up? Why wouldn’t he look into the issue further? If the teacher did indeed know what was going on and did nothing to stop the guys from masturbating in class, then obviously he should be penalized to the furthest extent the district allows–but it may be unfair to necessarily persecute the guy with so many conflicting reports circulating.

And another thing: Why were these kids using their phones in class to begin with? Do their parents check any of this out? Even if the teacher failed to discipline these guys, what made them think it was a good idea to start masturbating in class in the first place? Maybe if they learned better values and even just some common sense at home, the temptation of taking a “gay test” at school wouldn’t even have occurred to them.

Aside from the insanity of masturbating in class to begin with, let’s get to the core issue here: Homophobia. Why in Samuel L. Jackson’s name would anyone come up with “gay test,” and why would anyone else subject themselves to taking a “gay test”? It implies that homosexuality is something to be ashamed of and something inherently wrong or strange–but that behavior like masturbating in class is okay and normal? WHAT. THE. EFF?! Why would anyone agree to start masturbating in class–and why would anyone else want to watch? (Well, we do have one idea.)

masturbating in class gay test

Why were the guys masturbating in class looking at porn on their phones to begin with? | Source: Shutterstock

More than a suspension, anyone who thinks masturbating in class for the sake of passing a “gay test” needs a whole slew of therapy, sensitivity training, and, quite possibly, more severe punishment–because if these were adults, they’d likely be considered sex offenders. Here’s hoping this issue gets resolved and these kids get some help.

Do you think these students should be penalized for masturbating in class? Do you think their teacher knew they were masturbating in class? Who do you think is most at fault here? Has anything like this ever happened in your school? Do you think masturbating in class as part of a “gay test” makes any sense whatsoever? Tell us in the comments!

And Now Nuns Are Into Masturbation?! It’s All The Rage!


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  • ThatQueerGirlEmily

    Hey, i’ve gotten away with masturbating in class. I actually had an orgasm. But, we were watching a movie, I was in the very back, the lights were out and the other ten students in the class were at the front and halfway asleep. I actually had my panties down around my knees. I almost didn’t get caught. The next week though, the teacher asked why there was a stain under my desk. She realized what it was and kept me after school. That day, I learned she was also a lesbian. And that she knew how to really eat a p*ssy.

  • SecretLesbian

    My best friend has this guy in her class who just randomly jerks off…eww
    And I am a lesbian myself and I have taken this gay test I took because ::::
    1. I was confused
    2. I wanted to see how accurate/stupid the tests really were
    Ok so what I mean by “confused is I didn’t no If I was gay or bi so I took the kinsey scale test and got a 6 but that didn’t mean I was a lesbian it just showed me that there was a possibility…I’m only 13 but I know theses feelings won’t go away

  • luv2duv

    There was a guy who exposed himself to me in class and I was shocked so I didn’t say anything. I think he masterbated because he was rubbing and pulling on it and then I think some stuff shot out. It was really gross.

  • Autumn

    Guys at my school have been caught masturbating in class,but not by the teacher. I think they just enjoy the thrill of maybe getting caught. I don’t know its just a smidge weird.

  • Nobody

    1. They were exploring their sexuality, Am I gay, straight, or Bi?
    2. Masturbating in public is kinda like having sex in public, the fun of maybe getting caught.
    3. Does age really matter? Actually that age makes the most sense when it comes to sex and masturbation.
    4. Who is the real pervert? They are doing nothing wrong, you just think it is wrong and that is wrong.
    5. Getting suspended for doing something people don’t want to see / know about, the fact that it was masturbation should not change a thing.
    6. The teacher. He was still teaching wasn’t he? He got them out of the room so he could do his job.
    P.S. Please tell me what you think.

  • Little Kitten

    Boys and girls at my school do that too. Student (gay,bi,and even straight) have been caught having sex in the p.e. locker rooms.

  • Tiffany

    Well… in all fairness, these boys are older and have crazy hormones. I guess the whole… MASTURBATING IN CLASS is a big deal. Which it is, and I would’ve suspended them too. But not peg them for ‘sex offenders’. It’s sad for these misunderstood boys. First of all, no offense to gUrl, but they put this on the internet. Thankfully, no names were mentioned, but someone of that school could recognize this story and the jist of what happened and link it to them. They’d get mocked about it even more. But, It’s good advice if you think about it.

    First of all… don’t take a gay test. It’s demeaning and taking a TEST won’t tell you if you’re gay or lesbian of bi. If you feel attracted to the same sex, then you might be gay/lesbian. It’s nothing BIG. Nothing to get teased over. It’s how you are made and nobody should be ashamed. I’m friends with someone whose gay and someone who’s a lesbian. They’re my two best friends in the world.

    And the masturbating issue could be taken out of the class room. That does NOT mean go in the bathroom and do it. NOT the janitor’s closet. Just wait until you get home. I mean, in school? In the middle of class? It’s okay if you DO masturbate, just do it somewhere non-public.

    And SOME of these people are obviously hating. Not that you’re doing it on the gay test issue, but the puberty issue and the masturbating. Do you remember when you were 12 or 13 and going through those moments where you’d masturbate and everything to do with sex? Boys are typically more perverted than girls, but that’s not and excuse for girls not to. I’m a girl and I’ll say I’ve watched porn once of twice, but I didn’t get too much into it.

    Everyone does it. Just these boys did it at the wrong time. It wouldn’t be a big deal if these boys hadn’t done it at home. So just leave them be. If they’re gay, accept it. They masturbated, so what? ONLY the fact it’s in class makes it wrong. Just stop your useless ranting. Just as my ranting is pretty much useless. If you actually read this, you are WAY more mature than SOME of the people that’s commented. Not ALL. SOME.

    How I got through to some people.
    ~Tiffany

  • 1has2shop

    Some boys in my class masterbate/wank :O ew ikr.in maths, RE (Catholic school too) some people in my school are so disgusting in yr7

  • Guter Rat Brat

    Wow! Talk about Learning being fun! Deffinetly not kuddos status, but weird. I knew guys can be creepy but this major score on the scary gauge! I hope they like don’t have the phobia, where they see someone about use lotion and think their about to like you know jack-off!

  • tweet

    the gay test came from an episode of the adult comedy show on tosh.0 which airs on comedy central. during one episode the host, daneil tosh, watches gay porn and says that whoever gets turned on is a fag/gay. these kids were watching something completely inappropriate for their age and were just doing what they saw in the media.

  • kissoflove

    masturbating is okay:)

    • Krystyna

      Of course masturbating is okay, just not in CLASS, or in SCHOOL, and especially not to pass some stupid GAY TEST!!!!

      • Cassie

        or in PUBLIC! PERIOD! these guys were idots….like they have no shame

  • Feeling Doubtful

    I dunno, doesn’t it seem more likely that the other students are targeting unpopular or the kids they most likely suspect are gay with these allegations… because seriously, do you think they would be that concerned with cp laws that they wouldn’t take out their own cell phones to take pictures or videos for evidence, proof of their accusations or just the general fifteen minutes of fame or just circulating that kind of crap for further harassment of these kids throughout the school?

    and secondly, if the test was to prove they weren’t gay — and there’s all this negative pressure surrounding it to prove that they’re straight — are they seriously going to be beating their meat in front of the students that are waiting to harass them because of it?

    And really, more than one kid in one class, unless they were all involved in a circle jerk, don’t you find that part the most difficult to believe in all this? And some of the rumors suggesting this has happened more than once — if anybody dropped any pencils, papers or books on the floor they must have had a hell of a time trying to fight the stickiness of it all.

    Doesn’t this all sound like some conservative religious nutbag plot since all this sounds pretty much like what those homophobic groups fear about recognizing or supporting gay youth in public schools?

    Also ever seen the “Married With Children” episode of “Bud Hits The Books” (it’s on youtube, the second part of it is more poignant) about when Bud Bundy gets caught jacking off in the school library to some magazines like national geographics… it really does fit in with this situation and makes a defense for possible entrapment.

  • Susan

    Sadly, it’s not rare for guys from my grade to masturbate in class. They are gr.10 but some does do it behind the desk. (cover-up: binder) :( So i didn’t flip when i read the article. The idea is sick, though. Especially if they are only middle-schooler! It only shows how guys going through puberty are not mature enough!

  • Assma

    I can’t beleive this!!! First of all, why would anyone want to masturbate infront of anyone espacially in the classroom. these guys are totally sick!!! And i don’t think that we should blame the teacher, i don’t think he saw them with his own eyes! these nuts need some reall help.. OMG