Boards
If you’re the Kardashians, a family vacation means private jets to the Maldives, luxury yachts, and 5-star dinners. But for the rest of us, it’s usually more about endless car trips, gas station meals, bratty little sisters, and about ten trillion embarrassing moments. Here’s how to talk to your fam on your family vacation ….without being totes honest about how miserable you are!
Trying to Get Out of It
She said: Mom, I really think I should just stay home. I mean I’ve got all this AP English summer reading.
She meant: I also have an overwhelming need to throw an insane, unforgettable party for 4th of July!
Deciding Where to Go
She said: The Grand Canyon? Umm…I guess. What about Miami?! We can take in the cultural sights like…the…aquarium. And stuff.
She meant: And when you and Dad fall asleep at 9:30pm, my sister and I can sneak out and have some actual fun!
Getting There
She said: I seriously don’t understand why we have to drive there. I mean why not just go in a covered wagon?
She meant: Great, now there’s not even a chance to meet a hot guy in the window seat on the plane. Thanks Dad.
When Your Parents Plan the Day
She said: I think I twisted my ankle yesterday at the Museum of Modern Art. Or maybe at the Ancient History Museum or the Native American Museum. But it was definitely hurting by the time we got to the Museum of Math and Science. I should probably stay back at the hotel today.
She meant: I’m so bored I’m thisclose to spraining my own ankle if it means NO MORE MUSEUMS. Besides, I’ve got a tan to work on!
Nightlife Activities
She said: You guys are going to bed? Ok, I’ll just go down to the lobby and read for a bit. Like, three hours maybe. Um, have you seen my patent wedges and bandage skirt, btw?
She meant: Ok so the hotel restaurant isn’t exactly the Soho House, but if I don’t have some social contact with people my age—or at least who aren’t related to me—I’m going to lose it.
Souvenirs
She said: Mom seriously—a t-shirt from the planetarium? How lame do you think I am??
She meant: Ok fine I secretly love this shirt. The constellations glow in the dark!!!!
Are you going on a family vacation this summer? Where was your last family vacation? Tell me everything in the comments!
Now, Here’s What To NOT Tell Dad This Father’s Day!
Can You Trust Him?