From The Message Boards: Should You Delete Your Ex Off Facebook?

Facebook unfriend

Should you delete him or not? | Source: ShutterStock

Going through a breakup is tough – and getting over that dude is usually even harder. And sometimes it seems like the best thing to do is to basically delete your ex out of your life. But in 2012, with all of the social media we’re all so addicted to, doing that can get a little bit complicated. So here’s the question: should you stay friends with your ex on Facebook?

We saw this topic in the message boards and knew we had to get more opinions. What do you think: is it a good idea to stay friends with your ex and keep yourself updated with his every status and picture? Or is it a better idea to delete the dude and basically remove him from your life (your online life, at least)? Read what these girls had to say and then give us your opinion in the comments.

misslmh11 asked:
Should I delete my new ex-boyfriend as a friend on Facebook? I’m afraid I won’t be able to handle it if a picture of him and another girl pops up in my Newsfeed. But at the same time, if I do see something like that, won’t it make me stronger in the end? I’m super confused. I know if he realizes that I’ve removed him as a friend that I actually care about our breaking up and that remaining “friends” was too much for me. Any advice?

(L)iveYourLife. said:
I think it’s best to block or delete him for now. I think there’s a way to remove anything of his from appearing in your newsfeed, isn’t there? You can always unblock or re-friend him once you’ve moved on.

teen couple fighting

If you guys are like this, your probably shouldn't be friends on Facebook. | Source: ShutterStock

dunni.dipo said:
Keep him. I mean, unless you guys totally hate each other and aren’t friends, there’s no reason to delete.

What do we think? Well, deleting your ex is making a statement – it’s basically saying, “I want nothing to do with your life anymore”. If you do it, he’ll probably get a little bit insulted, so if you’re going to give him the axe on FB, make sure you’re okay with that.

That being said, deleting him is probably a pretty good idea. Keeping yourself updated with everything he does is only going to make you keep thinking about him and keep wondering what he’s up to. Doing that is never going to help you get over him. If you really don’t want to take the plunge in deleting him, then simply block him so you don’t see his updates. Taking away the option of stalking his Facebook pics can only be a good thing.

What do you think: should you delete your ex off of Facebook? Or should you keep him? Who do you agree with? Tell us in the comments.

 

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  • Flaka

    Yes you should delete your ex from all social media. You guys are not together anymore so there’s no reason to have any connection between the two of you. He/she does not have to know what you’re up to, how you’ve been doing, your statuses, pictures etc. For that ya could have jst stood together and share those moments together. So anyway, deleting them is a difficult step but it will let them know that you’re moving on (even if you still want to get back together) but that’s the message they’ll get when they go check your profile and see the “add friend” button!

  • saad

    yesterday i met agirl named Mehvish on gmail she was beautiful i added her on fb i messaged her a lot everything was all right but today when i saw she unfrnded me .. when i asked her she told me she is doubtful abt me… i m very sad even i likes her
    what should i do now

  • monica

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  • Tess

    I think it’s best to delete an ex unless u can block his feeds and try not to go on his page.i struggled blocking my ex as I was holding on to hope that we may get together again.i blocked his feeds but was still going on his page reading into all his statuses looking at pictures of him I had seen hundreds of times even trying to guess which one of the girls who was commenting on his posts was he now with and also stalking her!it was like I was addicted to him and looking at him on facebook fed this addiction.anyway I saw his new relationship blossoming on facebook and every time I saw a new pic of them together or she had commented or he had tagged her in a place I would start crying and get extremely anxious and felt like I couldn’t breathe.it stopped me from moving on.u take him off for you for your own healing dont worry about what they think they think about it.if they are posting new pics of their new partners up etc they have moved on and the best thing to do is get them out of your hair for good!i know it’s hard and I felt silly going on about fb all the time to my sisters and my mum but it is a part of life now!we met on facebook through mutual friends messaging each other at first then he requested me as a friend last sept before we had even met!wont ever been accepting a friend request from someone I’ve ever met before.good luck everyone I hope u find the strength to delete or block them its taken me 3 mths to beable to and I’ve tortured myself in the process .hope u can all get there,however if u don’t have any issues and don’t feel hurt by what ur ex is up to now then don’t worry about blocking them!if u were like me though with the crying and an jetty I described before u have to do it.take care of yourself lots of live Tess xxxx

  • Crystal

    Keeping things private or deleting humid the healthiest and most sane way to move on. Perhaps adding back in the future might be an option but in the freshest moments it’s best for YOU! You can’t have a good future if you keep hanging on to the past!

  • CaTtLeYa

    Me and my boyfriend have been broken up for a few weeks now and me and him are friends now but I see with his status messages are directed to me but he is so nice to me and he tells me he loves me and misses me but I find it hard to believe I can’t tell him I love him because I know he will use it against me but I reali do love him a lot so should I delete him or not??????

  • Jay

    I think it’s best to delete, especially if the relationship ended on bad terms. There’s no need to keep his updates on your newsfeed because all that leads to is picture stalking and eventually going to other girl’s pages that you THINK he’s talking to. No need to drive yourself mad with envy or curiosity over it when it’s an ex.

  • Jake

    There are actually a couple of things you can do other than unfriend/block someone on Facebook. If you go on to his page and up at the top it has a box with “Friends” with a check mark next to it, you can change what kind of friends you are. You can place him on a restricted list which means he will only see your public profile and a couple of other things. He will not show up in your home feed. The unfortunate part about it, is if he decides to comment on mutual friend’s photos. You will see the comments–and it will hurt if they are particularly flirty. Ex-boyfriends, even when they are old enough to know better, will resort to flirting with your friends online.

  • frag

    well, i just deleted my boyfriend off facebook!
    In this case, he went AWOL and when i said to him that i needed him to be more present, he said ‘tough, but he will try’…he didn’t. I gave him three weeks before i made this decision.
    I am thinking more about how i feel everytime i see him on my newsfeed. He’s posting and commenting all over facebook but no time to call or text me? That’s painful to watch. For now, it’s negative feelings and i feel like not seeing him there will help a great deal. So, i deleted him. Not sure yet how i feel about it but i’m sure about one thing: i need my peace of mind!

    • Lea

      Oh, i’m in the same situation now. Yesterday I finally deleted him on FB, from my phone etc. He said he’s so so busy, but he really would like us to meet and he misses me. We were together or dated for about a year now. But recently we started to date less and less. Before yesterday it was a month without a date or meeting each other, only text msgs. It did hurt all of the time when he says he’s busy but I see him posting on FB and liking other girls pics. And then I finally got it – he really doesn’t care for me, I know he likes my body and that I’m attractive, but he did need me(also on a trip with his friends) as a toy that he’s proud of and likes to show off. I could write a book now for all the girls, that just spend their precious time and energy on someone who doesn’t and won’t care. So – FB? Just delete.

    • Anne

      Gah! know the feeling!!! A guy I was beginning something with; suddenly became distant; and one day I asked him what was going on that he was very quiet..he said a friend of his died. At that moment I went all comprehensive and shit, only to find out he didn’t have time to talk to me but he was having this huge facebook argument with other people on vegetarianism. Yes…way to go through a grieving process… pfff

  • Annaliese

    I had a new question in relation to this…
    I split with my ex-bf 8months ago and he got a new girlfriend, the thing is-I know the girl. She’s not a close friend, more of an acquaintance, but when I first met her a couple years ago she was super nice and fun-a great catch!
    After the breakup, my ex and I defriended each other, but I am still fb friends with his new girl. There’s no pictures of them or fb status’, but they do write on each others wall occasionally. Should I delete the new girl? I don’t hate the girl, but seeing these posts between them kind of hurt.

    Advice?

  • Gwen

    I don’t know whether to delete this guy I went out with at summer camp but then again he lives in a different country but I think it’s for the best…. Maybe

  • cahoime

    definitely delete! I was becoming a stalker even with his newsfeed blocked…it’s just too tempting. I did let him know ahead of time that I was going to do it. Oh, and I deleted all of his friends as well because his pics are sure to pop up on their sites too…

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  • Ashley

    Being friends with an ex can be based on many factors such as, was it a bad break up or was it mutual? Do you have the same circle of friends? etc…

    If you can be friends then be just that…..FRIENDS! However friendships can fade and if things become complicated it’s best you just remove them from your Facebook or whatever social site it may be.

    If everything was all bad and you don’t think you could stand to look at him/her or yet him/her with someone else…yea…just delete him/her and move on. You’ll feel better in the long run.

  • karelrossman

    From experience I learnt not to add boys I’m involved with on Facebook. I just don’t want to deal with the whole “why is he online right now but didn’t he text me back?” ordeal as I have in the past. It makes breaking up and moving on a lot easier.

    However, one case has been special. When my ex-boyfriend broke up with me last year, it was the end of the world. I didn’t fully get closure mainly because I didn’t fully understand the reasons behind the break-up. It was painful at first because he would still ask me how I was doing every once in a while, until he made it a point to ask me for coffee for catch-ups. That was an apology enough and we have been seeing each other again ever since. Had I deleted him off Facebook right away, we would not still be involved now, a year later. Although I felt hurt several times during my relationship with him, I realize I was breaking my own heart over and over again by checking his updates, by making up stories based on his friends’ photo albums, etc.

    Point being, keep your Facebook for your close friends only, lest you start to hurt yourself by making up scenarios. If you ended your relationship on bad terms, prove your point and erase him from your life.

  • Emily

    i wondered the same thing after things ended with my ex, we actually ended up staying facebook friends for a few months and tried to stay real friends but once we both moved on it was easier to delete him off. I dont feel the need to share my new life with my new bf with him because hes in the past. Also my bf knew my ex and didnt like seeing his things come up on the newsfeed, I dont think Id like seeing him checking out his exs page though either

  • stephistarbucks

    An ex is an ex for a reason. Yes, delete him. Dating him was obvi a mistake if you two decided you didn’t want to be together anymore. He shouldn’t be accessible through social media or anything, at all.

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  • Heaven

    honestly, i dont see why you shouldnt be friends with an ex… me and my best friend tried the whole “dating thing” and it worked for almost two years. then, life got in the way, and he met someone else. yeah, i was pissed, but after a few months of grieving, we realized that even though we dont work as a couple, we work as friends. unless you cant stand the thought of having anything to do with him/her, i dont think you should give up exploring other aspects of a relationship.