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Should you delete him or not? | Source: ShutterStock
Going through a breakup is tough – and getting over that dude is usually even harder. And sometimes it seems like the best thing to do is to basically delete your ex out of your life. But in 2012, with all of the social media we’re all so addicted to, doing that can get a little bit complicated. So here’s the question: should you stay friends with your ex on Facebook?
We saw this topic in the message boards and knew we had to get more opinions. What do you think: is it a good idea to stay friends with your ex and keep yourself updated with his every status and picture? Or is it a better idea to delete the dude and basically remove him from your life (your online life, at least)? Read what these girls had to say and then give us your opinion in the comments.
misslmh11 asked:
Should I delete my new ex-boyfriend as a friend on Facebook? I’m afraid I won’t be able to handle it if a picture of him and another girl pops up in my Newsfeed. But at the same time, if I do see something like that, won’t it make me stronger in the end? I’m super confused. I know if he realizes that I’ve removed him as a friend that I actually care about our breaking up and that remaining “friends” was too much for me. Any advice?
(L)iveYourLife. said:
I think it’s best to block or delete him for now. I think there’s a way to remove anything of his from appearing in your newsfeed, isn’t there? You can always unblock or re-friend him once you’ve moved on.
If you guys are like this, your probably shouldn't be friends on Facebook. | Source: ShutterStock
dunni.dipo said:
Keep him. I mean, unless you guys totally hate each other and aren’t friends, there’s no reason to delete.
What do we think? Well, deleting your ex is making a statement – it’s basically saying, “I want nothing to do with your life anymore”. If you do it, he’ll probably get a little bit insulted, so if you’re going to give him the axe on FB, make sure you’re okay with that.
That being said, deleting him is probably a pretty good idea. Keeping yourself updated with everything he does is only going to make you keep thinking about him and keep wondering what he’s up to. Doing that is never going to help you get over him. If you really don’t want to take the plunge in deleting him, then simply block him so you don’t see his updates. Taking away the option of stalking his Facebook pics can only be a good thing.
What do you think: should you delete your ex off of Facebook? Or should you keep him? Who do you agree with? Tell us in the comments.
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Me and my boyfriend have been broken up for a few weeks now and me and him are friends now but I see with his status messages are directed to me but he is so nice to me and he tells me he loves me and misses me but I find it hard to believe I can’t tell him I love him because I know he will use it against me but I reali do love him a lot so should I delete him or not??????
I think it’s best to delete, especially if the relationship ended on bad terms. There’s no need to keep his updates on your newsfeed because all that leads to is picture stalking and eventually going to other girl’s pages that you THINK he’s talking to. No need to drive yourself mad with envy or curiosity over it when it’s an ex.
There are actually a couple of things you can do other than unfriend/block someone on Facebook. If you go on to his page and up at the top it has a box with “Friends” with a check mark next to it, you can change what kind of friends you are. You can place him on a restricted list which means he will only see your public profile and a couple of other things. He will not show up in your home feed. The unfortunate part about it, is if he decides to comment on mutual friend’s photos. You will see the comments–and it will hurt if they are particularly flirty. Ex-boyfriends, even when they are old enough to know better, will resort to flirting with your friends online.
well, i just deleted my boyfriend off facebook!
In this case, he went AWOL and when i said to him that i needed him to be more present, he said ‘tough, but he will try’…he didn’t. I gave him three weeks before i made this decision.
I am thinking more about how i feel everytime i see him on my newsfeed. He’s posting and commenting all over facebook but no time to call or text me? That’s painful to watch. For now, it’s negative feelings and i feel like not seeing him there will help a great deal. So, i deleted him. Not sure yet how i feel about it but i’m sure about one thing: i need my peace of mind!
Oh, i’m in the same situation now. Yesterday I finally deleted him on FB, from my phone etc. He said he’s so so busy, but he really would like us to meet and he misses me. We were together or dated for about a year now. But recently we started to date less and less. Before yesterday it was a month without a date or meeting each other, only text msgs. It did hurt all of the time when he says he’s busy but I see him posting on FB and liking other girls pics. And then I finally got it – he really doesn’t care for me, I know he likes my body and that I’m attractive, but he did need me(also on a trip with his friends) as a toy that he’s proud of and likes to show off. I could write a book now for all the girls, that just spend their precious time and energy on someone who doesn’t and won’t care. So – FB? Just delete.
I had a new question in relation to this…
I split with my ex-bf 8months ago and he got a new girlfriend, the thing is-I know the girl. She’s not a close friend, more of an acquaintance, but when I first met her a couple years ago she was super nice and fun-a great catch!
After the breakup, my ex and I defriended each other, but I am still fb friends with his new girl. There’s no pictures of them or fb status’, but they do write on each others wall occasionally. Should I delete the new girl? I don’t hate the girl, but seeing these posts between them kind of hurt.
Advice?
I don’t know whether to delete this guy I went out with at summer camp but then again he lives in a different country but I think it’s for the best…. Maybe
definitely delete! I was becoming a stalker even with his newsfeed blocked…it’s just too tempting. I did let him know ahead of time that I was going to do it. Oh, and I deleted all of his friends as well because his pics are sure to pop up on their sites too…
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Being friends with an ex can be based on many factors such as, was it a bad break up or was it mutual? Do you have the same circle of friends? etc…
If you can be friends then be just that…..FRIENDS! However friendships can fade and if things become complicated it’s best you just remove them from your Facebook or whatever social site it may be.
If everything was all bad and you don’t think you could stand to look at him/her or yet him/her with someone else…yea…just delete him/her and move on. You’ll feel better in the long run.
From experience I learnt not to add boys I’m involved with on Facebook. I just don’t want to deal with the whole “why is he online right now but didn’t he text me back?” ordeal as I have in the past. It makes breaking up and moving on a lot easier.
However, one case has been special. When my ex-boyfriend broke up with me last year, it was the end of the world. I didn’t fully get closure mainly because I didn’t fully understand the reasons behind the break-up. It was painful at first because he would still ask me how I was doing every once in a while, until he made it a point to ask me for coffee for catch-ups. That was an apology enough and we have been seeing each other again ever since. Had I deleted him off Facebook right away, we would not still be involved now, a year later. Although I felt hurt several times during my relationship with him, I realize I was breaking my own heart over and over again by checking his updates, by making up stories based on his friends’ photo albums, etc.
Point being, keep your Facebook for your close friends only, lest you start to hurt yourself by making up scenarios. If you ended your relationship on bad terms, prove your point and erase him from your life.
i wondered the same thing after things ended with my ex, we actually ended up staying facebook friends for a few months and tried to stay real friends but once we both moved on it was easier to delete him off. I dont feel the need to share my new life with my new bf with him because hes in the past. Also my bf knew my ex and didnt like seeing his things come up on the newsfeed, I dont think Id like seeing him checking out his exs page though either
An ex is an ex for a reason. Yes, delete him. Dating him was obvi a mistake if you two decided you didn’t want to be together anymore. He shouldn’t be accessible through social media or anything, at all.
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honestly, i dont see why you shouldnt be friends with an ex… me and my best friend tried the whole “dating thing” and it worked for almost two years. then, life got in the way, and he met someone else. yeah, i was pissed, but after a few months of grieving, we realized that even though we dont work as a couple, we work as friends. unless you cant stand the thought of having anything to do with him/her, i dont think you should give up exploring other aspects of a relationship.