Apparently, Justin’s Bieber penis name is “Jerry“–and his fans gave it the moniker on Twitter. It’d be a lot less creepy if Justin’s penis name was one he came up with himself, though we’d still raise an eyebrow really high if that went public (and we’d probably give some side eye to Mariah Yeater, too). But seriously, Beliebers? Would you want dudes you’ve never met naming your vag? (If the answer to that is “yes,” please call your fathers and reevaluate your life decisions.)
Justin revealed the name of his, er, Bieber in a recent radio interview where he told fans, “Be nice, and don’t talk about Jerry.” Whether or not you’re a fan, you can’t really blame him for not wanting strangers to talk about his privates. And let’s be real, that’s gotta be an awkward conversation with Selena Gomez.
Justin Bieber’s penis name is a little disturbing. First off, his dad’s name, Jeremy, is pretty close to his penis name. So. Frickin’. Creepy. But also because other than the legendary mouse who fled from Tom, most Jerrys in today’s cultural landscape aren’t anyone we’d want near our ladybits. Although, in a way, the associations of Justin’s penis name with Jerrys Springer and Sandusky are still almost completely appropriate: uncouth and, uh, aimed at tweens.
At his own insistence–and for your own dignity–next time you’re tempted to tweet about Justin’s penis name, just sing to yourself: “Baby, baby, baby, NO!”
Have you ever given a guy a penis name? What do you think of Justin Bieber’s penis name? Do you think Justin’s fans were out of line to give his goods a penis name? Tell us in the comments!