How To Get Laid: Don’t Be This Homophobic Guy

how to get laid homophobic

How to get laid: Don't be homophobic or stupid. | Source: TMZ

Girls, please show this to the guys you know who are wondering how to get laid. And tell them to do and say nothing like this homophobic assclown.

A 14-year-old radio host named Caiden Cowger from West Virginia–because apparently static, white noise, and nails on a chalkboard may have been over the station’s budget–is coming under some well-deserved fire for making some of the most ignorant, idiotic, and homophobic remarks we’ve ever heard. We’re not going to embed his video here because we don’t need to proliferate his stupidity any further, but we will comment on some of his rants.

In the beginning of his clip, Cowger fumes, “I see younger people that is turning out to be homosexuals.”

Really, broski? Aside from the obvious fact that people don’t “turn into” homosexuals, this kid just sounds like an imbecile. Lesson numero uno in how to get laid: Speak your own native language properly. We see younger people that are likely turning out to be borderline illiterate. Does this kid hear himself?

Cowger adds,”There’s about 30 teenagers in this county that I’m at that are homosexuals.”

Lesson number two in how to get laid: Learn math. Chances are, since 1 in 10 people are homosexual, either Cowger’s town has a really small adolescent population, or there are a lot more homosexual teens in his town than he thinks. And homophobic attitudes like this may be why: When people are ignorant, stupid, and intolerant, it makes it hard for homosexuals to live normal lives openly.

Cowger even says that though bullying is wrong, bullying homosexuals “in the name of God” is okay, because if they don’t repent, they’ll go to Hell. So by this dude’s standards, homophobic harassment and violence are fine if they’re in line to convert people to your religious beliefs. So does that mean he was cool with the terrorist attacks on 9/11?

Lesson three in how to get laid: I dunno. “Don’t be an asshole?”

He goes on to say that homosexuals are “perverted” and “immoral,” but what’s really perverted is how obsessed this guy is with other people’s sex lives. You got something you’re hiding, kid?

The biggest lesson in how to get laid? Worry about your own sex life and you won’t have time to go on moronic homophobic rants on the Internet. If Caiden Cowger keeps his mouth shut, he won’t be able to shove his foot–or anything else–into it.

What do you think about Caiden Cowger? What would you do if he asked you out? Would you even be friends with this dude? Tell us in the comments!

Don’t You Think Gay Love Is Stronger Than Hate? We Do!

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  • Sabrina

    I love living in the state of West Virginia, but people like him make this state seem illiterate and narrow minded. It’s hard to be openly gay around here without someone shoving the Bible down your throat. People like him make me livid. I wish everyone would open their minds. I believe that God wouldn’t send a person to Hell for loving someone. I want to meet him now and give him a piece of my mind. I fully support all LGBTs!

  • lanie

    Exactley! My Mom put up, then took it down on facebook as not to afend any one, but it was a picture of a mans tatoo of a leviticus verse saying that for man to lie with another man is a sin, and then she commented that in one of the next couple chapters it says that getting tatoos is a sin too. so theywere saying they were fine sining by getting a tatoo, but not okay with homosexuals. which was awesome because before she took it down, her christian gay friend saw it, and loved it!

  • stephi starbucks

    I totally agree with “Got something you’re hiding, kid?” Perfect!! ahaha 😛

  • AlliKratt

    A complete illiterate idiot….but the report just feels like it’s one big angry opinion…can we bring unbi”assed” articles back into gURL?

    • Carol

      I agree. I don’t agree with this guy, but honestly this article could be a lot better. It isn’t right that the author is slamming this guy for being illiterate and things; that has nothing todo with what this article should be about. This article should be about not pushing your views on others, or not saying things that can hurt others. Howerver, this article is just as judgemental as the guy in the video is. . .

  • Allison

    This guy is a complete jerk!! I fully support all LGBTs and anyone else who is considered “different”. Anyone who doesn’t should just mind their own business because it’s none of theirs. If that’s truely his opinion than that’s fine, but he needs to keep his mouth shut. People like him who are that ignorant and closed-minded just make me so angry!!

  • brieniki

    what a douche

    • brieniki

      and BTW I am religious. However I FULLY support homosexuals and bisexuals, and so does God, Amen.

  • Laura

    What is wrong with him? People like him make me so angry!