Hanging out at the pool is one of the best parts about summer. Unless of course you start telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you Coppertone.
The next time you get caught in a slippery situation poolside, remember these easy cheats on what to say. Just might keep you from getting thrown in the deep end!
When You’re the First People There
She said: Where should we sit you guys? We want to get the best lounges.
She meant: Trying to decide between optimal sun exposure, view of the potential boys and proximity to the snack bar is an AGONIZING decision.
When the Super Thin Girls Arrive
She said: Ooo I’m kinda cold all of a sudden, I think I’ll just curl up under my towel for a bit.
She meant: Yes, until Barbie and the bulimia brigade take their boniness elsewhere!
Upon Seeing Your Crush
She said: Oh hey Todd–totally didn’t see you there…right in front of me. I was just stretching, ya know. Doing a little lounge chair yoga, ha ha!
She meant: If hold my breath, arch my back enough and reaaaach my arms over my head, I kind of look like Brandi Glanville right? RIGHT?!
If Someone Splashes You and Your Crush is Around
She said: Eee! Ha ha oh Chloe you’re so funny! Soooooo funnnnnyyyyy.
She meant: Be cool, don’t freak out because you got your blowout wet. Don’t be that girl.
If Someone Splashes You and Your Crush Isn’t Around
She said: God DAMMIT Chloe! Now my Us Weekly is all wet! And I’m going to look like a f*king poodle all day!
She meant: Great. Now my entire poolside look is ruined. I may as well go home. My summer is over.
When You’re Feeling Self-Conscious
She said: I’m super into retro one-pieces this summer!
She meant: Uggggh why why did I eat that entire tube of cookie dough last night instead of going to Pilates with Megan. OK, from here on out, it’s all about healthy stuff. I’m just going to give up—ooo! Is that the ice cream man!?
Have you been to the pool yet this summer? What’s the funniest thing that’s ever happened to you at the pool? Tell me everything in the comments!