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Don't stare at his picture! | Source: ShutterStock
Dear Heather,
How can I win back my ex? I love him! We dated for over a year and he broke up with me about a month ago. I miss him, I really miss him. I gave him time to think about it. I think maybe now I should try to talk to him. I try to but now I just keep losing the courage! Please help me! How can I get him back??
I’m sorry you’re going through this! Breakups stink and can be really hard to get through, especially when you weren’t the one doing the breaking up. I totally feel your pain, and so do tons of other girls out there – but unfortunately, it’s not the best idea to try to win your ex back. I know that’s not what you want me to say, but hear me out: letting him go and moving on is going to be the best thing for you.
Breakups happen for a reason, whether you want to admit or not. Your ex broke up with you because something was wrong in the relationship – if things were going well and you were both happy, you’d still be together or you would have gotten back together already. It can be hard to see that when you’re feeling heartbroken and lonely, but trust me: you two are probably better off without each other right now.
This is the perfect time to focus on yourself. | Source: ShutterStock
Trying to win back your ex is probably not going to happen the way you want it to. If you really feel like you want to say something, then call him to ask if you two can talk. If he ignores you, blows you off or tells you no, then leave it at that. That’s not him playing hard to get – that’s him letting you know he doesn’t want your relationship to start back up again. Pursuing him even is only going to push him away.
If he is willing to talk, then both of you need to sit down and really discuss what went wrong and why you broke up. Don’t just jump back into things.
But honestly, I’m not really encouraging you to talk to your ex. As I said before, the relationship ended for a reason. This is a great time to focus on yourself and try to move on. Spend time with your friends and family and focus on a hobby that you love. You finally have unlimited time for yourself to do whatever you want, and you should embrace that! If you and your ex are meant to get back together, you will eventually. But pursuing him and trying to talk to him if he doesn’t seem interested is never a good idea, and is never going to make you feel better. Save yourself the extra heartache, the embarrassment and the regret, and move on without him.
take care,
Heather
What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com
Here’s more advice on getting over a breakup
Can You Trust Him?
I didn’t email you in a while. I just want to tell you everything has changed. Before life was hell, now its like heaven on earth. It’s really amazing how my life changed with your very powerful spell.dr okudu (okudutemple@yahoo.com
Eddie Chang, Singapore
This blog really struck my heart and remind me of re vengeance.it reminded me September last year on how i really dealt with my ex. he dumped me for a 28 year old lady which i employed in my company and maltreated i and 7 year old baby. This lady was seriously taken over my completely. it became so worse when they started having sex in our matrimonial home.out of fear, i decided to seek help from a spell caster who made me understand steve is under a spell by the other a lady and he can help me break the spell so i could have my man back and have good times like we use to. But for the pain they have cursed me both . i decided to cast a spell to make my man turn puppet to me and control him anytime i want , love me and no one else ,detest any woman who comes closer to him. i also cast a spell for him to beat the other woman up until she never turns up again.
After being in relationship with him for ten years,he broke up with me,I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a love spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex
called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email is (VOODUSLOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM) you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything.
So back in high school I was with a guy for three years. I got into a new relationship two years later and I just left the guy because we were constantly bumping heads and he was disrespectful so I couldnt take it anymore. Ive been thinking about the guy I was with back in high school for awhile and I think I actually want him back. We email eachother here and their because while I was in a relationship with the guy I left I couldnt even have guy friends he was super jealous. So I actually told the ex bf from high school how I still felt towards him and he told me what I felt was mutual because we were eachothers first, he also said but it can get better. I was a little happy but confused when he said that. As we continue our convo. I mention how maybe one day we might meet again and then I guess his attitude changed a bit. I was still with the other guy when I was writing to the guy I really wanted and hes says ”hes not a home breaker”. I get it he wouldnt intervine in my relationship for nothing which was very honest and nice to hear. Now im single and he doesnt know that, should I tell him and try to get him back once hes back from the army in December? He did say we were going to hang and for me to choose where we’ll go and he’ll pay which is a thumbs up. I find him very attractive till this day, miss being with him and I think I wanna take a shot at getting him back, little by little
i tryed to get my ex back and i told him that he should give us another chance. And he just walked away i cryed and cryed but he didnt give in. I miss him and all i wanna do is get him back. what should i do? should i let him be with other girls? or keep bothering him by telling him to give us another chance?
i agree with both of yous to an extent… cutting yourself is no way to go, i got sucked down that hole and it took a lot of counsiling to get out of that habit… i met a guy five years a go i fell in love with him the first day we talked… we were best friends for three years and we were in love we would stay up all night talking, and we knew everything about eachother, eventually we started dating we were little childhood sweet hearts. then something not so good happend one of my friends died three years a go and i fell into depression and started cutting myself he was the only one i couldnt hide secrets from so i stopped myself from seeing him and ignored his calls, we decided it would be best if we were just best friends again, i got better but i had already lost him. years had passed and we were still as close as ever (best friends) but i was angry at myself for letting him go and was still comnpletly in love with him. as the time passed by i would just stand as a bestie on the sidelines watching him go out with other girlfriends it broke my heart. Eventually i started to see other people but it never lasted because of this boy i was in love with! three/four months ago i found out he was single again (halla) he came over (he is aslo friends with my brother) and before i could tell him i was in love with him and have been from the moment i met him, he told me the same thing! we were alone and hooked up but nothing more. a week later i stayed at his house and we got a little drunk and we hooked up again! but nothing more. a week had passed and two days before my birthday he asked me out, i wanted to think about it-i didnt want to risk our friendship. but on my birthday i found out he was dating someone else i was heart broken and it hurt so much! the next day he called and said he was in love with me (he was tipsy) and i said i loved him back but i wasnt going to date him. when he asked why i turned around and said because you have a girlfriend the next day he broke up with her. he asked me out again on fb and my friend hacked me and said yes. i found out when he called and i told him that i was hacked and he asked me himself and i said yes. that same day (my friend hacked me) i said yes to her crush asking her out and we both started dating the guys we were in love with the same day! and have been ever since. i love my boyfriend so, so much. so dont give up on your exs i didnt- i had to wait a long time but it worked out. if hes not the one there are plenty of other fish in the sea… GuRls DONT GIVE UP!!!!! <3
my story...< then on march 26 (our 1 month anniversaary) i couldnt take it no more i bursted into tears with my friend ( i never cried for any guy!) then she was texting him telling him things for me but he told her how much hes been crying himself to sleep and how depressed hes been lately ugh that tore me apart then my other friend was talkking to him because of her he finally mssged me on fb. then he started by hi this and that how are you i was like good (not) how are you? he said same then i was like are you okay? he said no. im not okay… i was confused then he brought up the song he dedicated to me Untitled – shawn chrystopher i was like " .< but i felt relieved that i told him i was so happy he knew how much he really meant to me but then like they always say if you really love something you should let it go i thought he deserves someone better than me because he sucha sweetheart i dont deserve him i dont deserve his tears maybe he is better of with someone else but i love him i really do i just feel like crying and holding on to him and and telling him iloveyou iloveyou a thousand times ! ! ! but then on may 2 2012 i broke up with him (im so stupid) im a kid im still learning &+ hes the first guy i actually got really close with that i really did like well truth is i love him. anyways then later on may 18 i found out it was his new relationships date i felt so sick to my stomach i started cutting myself (im so stupid) when i found out that i felt like our relationship meant nothing to him after all. i know i broke up with him and i should let it all go but i cant i really cant god i love him. i really do. seeing him everyday knowing his not mine make my whole world drop. were starting to talk but i miss him holding my hand & stuff i miss his hugs i miss his laugh his voice his smile his kindness his warmth touch our late night calls his kisses how he would out of nowhere just telling me how much i mean to him but now i know ive lost & i should move on but i cant. i really cant & its killing me. The way we talk isnt the same and i miss how things use to be. i miss how happy i was around him. i miss the feeling that he would give me that everything was possible and that i loved everything about us and myself i just miss him. i need him. oh god i just want him back. what should i do now? Goddamn im so stupid!
I agree with you on this paticular case, but in my situation it is kinda different. His girlfriend is thousands of miles away and they have never really met. We dated, twice. First time we broke up because I had just broke up with this great guy and he understood and we were just the same and we tried again. He was completely cool with it. After 5 months he wasn’t treating me the same as when we were friends. He just treated me like one of his school mates. So we broke up, now his girlfriends mother. Well his fience. Her mother found out and won’t let her on the computer anymore, so they haven’t talked in forever. We stoped talking for almost a whole year because I didn’t like her because she was guiltying him and using her body to keep him. After they stoped talking we started again. Now he still believes in love with her, but she is 3 years older and so far away. Even he is getting lonely, he has beening hooking up with other girls. I know I’m going to sound hypicrital but I am thousands of miles away too. Its different though, I have known him for 2 years and even he said I understand him better than anyone. He has, well use to, have a bad habit of lying. I told him when we started talking again that he is not to lie to me. He hasn’t again. He has even fixed many of the lies he has told. Back to the point, his cousin was ranting to me that James is a attention whore. I will admit that he can be, but I explained to Sam what James was really like and they have got along GREAT since then. James was upset and I told him that I see a heart of gold that is covered in tar and I am hopefully breaking it away peice by peice. He said, yes I you are and not many people can do that for me. In my case I would completely go with your advice if James wasn’t giving me signs of hope. He knows exactly what to do when I am mad. He makes me laugh. He does the most beautiful puppy dog eyes and I just can’t talk for a moment. He also gets really jelous when I am talking to Sam and am not really paying attention to him. I video chat with him through Skype. I know, I know it is dangerous and I shouldn’t have even started video chatting. He found me on Skype with my name and being from TN. That is just how it started. He keeps telling me that Sam likes me, and he doesnt’ like that. I agree with you, but lets say its not always the case.