How Do I Know If I’m A Good Kisser?

Are you good at kissing

Just relax – you’re probably better then you think! | Source: ShutterStock

Hi Heather,

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about three and a half months now, and we’re always kissing when we’re alone. But I don’t know whether I’m a very good kisser or not. I don’t want to ask him, because it’s kind of embarrassing to have to ask. How do I know whether I’m a good kisser or not? Help!

Take a deep breath and relax, girl, because I’m going to go ahead and say that you’re probably a good kisser. I’ve never kissed you, so I might not know from experience, but I can tell you this: if a guy has been kissing you all the time for three months, then you’re doing something right.

Think about it this way: if you hooked up with a dude who was a horrible kisser, would you keep doing it? Probably not. Well, it works the same way with guys. If a boy thinks you’re a bad kisser, he’s probably not going to keep kissing you. Does your boyfriend ever try to give you tips or pointers? If so, maybe he wants you to do some things differently – but that doesn’t mean you’re bad!

It’s always a good idea to have this handy! | Source: ShutterStock

Does he seem like he wants to kiss you? Does he seem like he’s enjoying himself when you guys are kissing? If the answer is yes to those questions, then I think you’re safe. Unless your man ends up with your saliva all over his chin or he has bite marks all over his tongue and lips, you’re good.

To be a good kisser, you only have to keep these things in mind: Don’t shove your tongue down a dude’s throat – instead, move it around in his mouth slowly. Playful nibbling is sexy, but straight-up biting is usually a no-no. Don’t grope your guy while you’re making out – try running your hands through his hair, down his back, or just holding him close. And lastly, always have breath mints handy.

But really, the main thing is that kissing is all about feeling comfortable with yourself and your partner, having fun, and being confident. Stay relaxed and let yourself have a good time. If you spend an entire make out sesh worrying about whether or not you’re doing the right thing, it’s never going to feel right to you. And there’s no shame in asking your BF what he likes. Opening up to each other about what turns you on is an important part of a relationship.

take care,

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at


Do you think about these things when you’re making out?

Posted in: Dating, Love Advice
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  • Morgan

    I got dared to kiss my best guy friend nick but he’s a year younger and shorter. I didn’t do it but now there’s rumors that we did and now I kinda want to but am 2 scared to say anything because I don’t want to ruin our friendship. Help wat should I do???

  • Lee

    I’m scared to kiss my BF n he wants to kiss m bt I’m scared

  • Lee

    I’m a good kisser

  • patrici

    In junior high i kissed a boy named Seth but i didnt know if he liked it……..

  • giiirrrrrl08573

    my bf tried to kiss me and i acidentally rejected him even tho i really want to kiss him…i like looked away i feel really stupid and im pretty sure hes gunna try to kiss me again tomorrow and im freaking out plzzzz help!

  • surprises

    I dated a guy and we kissed all the time. I though I was a good kisser cause he never said anything or looked disgusted. He always wanted to kiss me. But right before we broke up, he said that I wasn’t a good kisser. He said that I pushed my face against his and it hurt him. I’m pretty sure I didn’t do that. What am I doing wrong?

  • angie

    well I like this boy and he knows I like him and me and him kiss some times on the lips but I want to go out with him.. I’m not sure if he likes me. he even says I’m cute and adorable and says I wAnna kiss u again and I saw wanna do it tomorrow and says yes u don’t have to ask what do I do 🙂

  • alleea

    i got my tounge pierced and havent kissed over 2 years. is it going to be different? wat if im bad at it?

  • tiger-kisses

    i dont need to ask him. my bf tells me im a great kisser and i get better and better 🙂

  • Phearia

    Me and my bf hav been goin put for a month and 2 weeks and haven’t kissed. Wht do I do.

    • Abby

      dear phearia, if you really want to kiss your bf just do it yourself. From what I know some guys like it if you take charge maybe hes waiting for you to do it first because he is too shy. Or you could after your next date while you have a moment alone together ask him aren’t u going to kiss me now?

    • Seara

      Just wait it out you’ll get it soon I promises you… Me and my boyfriend has been dateing for 3 months and just last night he kissed me..

    • Katie

      If he seems like the type of guy who’s not shy, then YOU go in for the kiss. The moment will be right…like at the movies or something just look at him get in close and he should lean in. If he doesn’t, something’s bothering him.

  • Miss Forgotten

    OK si im going to my boyfriend house tomorrow for the first time and i really wanna kiss him and he really wants to kiss me but im kinda scared tho cuz to be truthful i dont really know how to kiss i never really kissed anyone before except like a quick kiss thats it and idk why but i get all scared yet happy i really do want to kiss him yet im kinda frightened what if i mess up or do something stupid IDK WHAT TO DO SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME

    Miss Forgotten

  • Mads

    Is it ok to breathe thru ur nose?

    • Ayana

      Of course! Just exhale slowly and easily.

  • Samantha

    I asked my “ex”. We only went on one date, and we’re still friends, so I asked him. He gave me a comprehensive review of my “lipwork, hand placement, and body movement”. Needless to say, apparently I’m a good kisser.

  • Alyna36

    How do I know I’m a great kisser? I dont want to ask him cause it’s embarrising, what do I do

    • PrettyWeirdKid1

      Well even though you may be embarrassed to ask … Its not hard to just find out girl. But as Heather says if you apparently continuously kisses you then maybe your a great or good kisser after all . : )

  • LilBD

    My first kiss is with my boyfriend.
    I’ve asked him before what he prefers and he said what I do is good and he likes it.

    I still wasn’t unsure until I realized he usually kisses me first. And I figured he probably wouldn’t start unless he wanted it.