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Should you trust him or not? | Source: ShutterStock
Dear Ethan,
Do you think that the phrase “once a cheater, always a cheater” is true? Can you trust a guy who is a complete player?
I’ll get right to the point on this one: no, you can’t trust a complete player. If your crush has been caught cheating by other ladies many times before, he’s not likely to change his shady ways any time soon. That’s not to say it would be impossible for him to someday fall in love harder than ever before and have an epiphanic moment of reformation in which he vows to never touch another woman for the rest of his life — but…he’s probably just a cheater. Approach any guy with a known history of being inconsistently loyal with great, great caution.
Now, for those of you already in relationships, I don’t think it’s necessarily fair to automatically write a guy off for slipping up once. Obviously your choice to forgive or forget him is your decision, and one based entirely upon the circumstances of the infidelity and the dynamic of your relationship, but a first-time offender isn’t necessarily going to be a lifelong felon. Everyone makes mistakes.
Be careful of third chances... | Source: ShutterStock
With that being said, I’d move on from anyone who seems to be forming a pattern. You may have heard this well-known idiom before: “Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.” The author of that expression must have caught his or her loved one liplocked with a stranger on more than one occasion. While “once a cheater” doesn’t necessarily mean “always a cheater,” “twice a cheater” might. So if you are gracious enough to pardon his initial betrayal and he breaks your trust a second time, you should have no qualms with sending him packing.
…Unless you’re into polygamy, of course — in which case, you’ve just struck player gold.
Good luck!
Ethan
Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “What is he thinking?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Ethan, email him at askaguy@gurl.com!
Ethan Fixell is a writer and comedian from New York City best known as one half of comic “dating coach” duo Dave and Ethan. He is also the creator and editor of ActualConversation.com. For more on Ethan, visit EthanFixell.com…or call his mom, Robin.
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Its hard but to give second chance is better cse i do not know if u get men not cheating what u gonna do is to talk and solve it.
Cheating is terrible. But sometimes people can get caught up in the moment and not know what they’re doing. I wouldn’t say they’re always a cheater, but make sure they prove they’re not one! Being cheated on is definitely not fun. It can make you feel not important but you need to show the guy what he just gave up! Let him know you’re fine even without him. (: So some guys are always gonna remain a cheater, it is going to be difficult to be able to trust them again but make sure you know for a fact, they won’t do it again.
It’s a horrible feeling to be cheated on… I should know. It totally ruins your self-esteem and makes you feel like you can never trust anyone again. But things do get better and the only way of getting back at them is not getting with them and cheating, but showing them what they missed out on and how you don’t someone like them bringing you down.
I agree, Emily. Don’t waste your time with plotting revenge — moving on is definitely the best way to show him what a bad mistake he’s made!
-Ethan