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There’s no doubt about it, cheating in a relationship stinks. But unfortunately, it happens pretty often. Everyone has their own excuses for cheating, and unless you’re the cheater, you’ll never really know the real reason why it happened. So here’s a question: do you think cheating can ever be accidental?
It’s easy to say ‘NO‘ in big, huge letters right away… that is, until you’ve been in the situation yourself. We saw this conversation going on in the message boards, and we were curious to see what you girls thought about it also. Read what these ladies had to say and then fill us in on your opinion.
Yakubutsu said:
Can cheating ever be accidental? For example, some people may argue that cheating when you’re drinking is “accidental” and should be viewed as a mistake because you were intoxicated. Is that true?
Sure, after one has cheated they may realize that what they have done was wrong and therefore a “mistake”… but was it initially an “accident” until the feelings of guilt came afterwards? If that makes sense.
I don’t understand how sex can be “accidental” … intoxicated or not.
hesmyweakness said:
I do not think that cheating is ever accidental. When saying that something led you to cheating, you are just finding an excuse for your actions. You don’t want to be held responsible. I know that having sex with someone else is cheating and is wrong. Therefore, my opinion is that no cheating can not be, nor will it ever be, accidental for any reason what so ever.
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vespertine said:
This topic is a toughy. I used to think that there was no way that this “accidental” business could actually happen, until it happened to me. Sometimes it’s not so much an accident as it is the product of influence.
My opinion? Cheating is cheating – and I don’t think you can ever call it accidental. You are always held responsible for your actions, no matter what. When you decide to cheat on someone, you’re making a choice to betray them, whether you realize that in the moment or not.
Yes, situations can very easily get out of hand, and sometimes things do happen. But when a person cheats and they honestly feel terrible about it, their reaction should never be, “It was an accident.” It should be, “I made a mistake and I’m sorry. This is my fault.” I think that saying it was an accident is trying to take the easy way out… and also, in my mind at least, it’s a pretty lame excuse. But taking accountability for your actions? That shows that you’re mature enough to realize what you did really was wrong.
What do you think? Who do you agree with? Can cheating ever be accidental? Have you ever cheated? Let us know in the comments.
So you cheated on your boyfriend… now what?
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So is everyone just forgetting about guy-rapes-girl situations??? Where the girl is unwilling and guy makes her??? Just saying, guys, there is always an exception. Sometimes the girl has not done anything out of her right in a relationship, has been the perfect girlfriend, and yet things still happen.
My boyfriend and his ex-girlfriend ran into each other at a bar back in their hometown. My boyfriend was already drunk, and somehow, someway, they passionately kissed… on our one year anniversary.
What do you do when he tells you sincerely from the bottom of his heart, he doesn’t know how it happened, because he hates his ex-girlfriend (this i know, because she cheated on him). He told my he hates himself and never thought he would ever cheat on me and that he sees us being together for a long time.
Alcohol was a factor in this. And I do believe, that had he been sober, he would not have even approached her…. But yet, I never thought I would be in this position.
It was not sex, but it was a kiss. It was not some random girl, it was his ex girlfriend. Even if I were to forgive, I don’t think I can forget… and even if we stay together, I don’t really know how it will work
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I myself can´t cheat. It’s against my life statements. If I’m in love, in a relationship and someone kisses me, I will be very disgusted. But that’s my thing.
I think cheating can’t be accidental. When you’re intoxicated you do things you can’t do when you’re sober. If you’re are dating someone and you find someone else hot or you like them also, intoxicaded you will have the guts to flirt, kiss or even have sex with that person, is she/he allows. You get back to yourself and then you regret, you feel sorry and bla bla bla. Then you choose the easy excuse ” I was drunk/high ” but still , you wanted !! So for me cheating
can´t be accidental !!
I myself can´t cheat. It’s against my life statements. If I’m in love, in a relationship and someone kisses me, I will be very disgusted. But that’s my thing.
I think cheating can’t be accidental. When you’re intoxicated you do things you can’t do when you’re sober. If you’re are dating someone and you find someone else hot or you like them also, intoxicaded you will have the guts to flirt, kiss or even have sex with that person, is she/he allows. You get back to yourself and then you regret, you feel sorry and bla bla bla. Then you choose the easy excuse ” I was drunk/high ” but still , you wanted !! So for me cheating can´t be accidental
Look, even I get horny when I’m drunk, but that’s why I don’t get drunk when I’m not with my guy.
I would drink in moderation and watch other people get drunk while I’m having a good time socializing.
When I feel like I’ve had enough, Ill stop!
NOW LOL, when I’m with my guy I’ll do both.
I have a good time with only him…
well i am going out with somone and i love him but i have fealings for my best friend who is a boy we are allway together too. but a couple of days ago befor he lefed my house (we were just haning out) he kissed me on the cheek and now i am in a dimeal i fill like i have cheated on my boyfriend i feel so bad i knew my friend liked me but our friendship will not be the same and neaver will me and my boyfriends pz help :-/ xxx
Cheating can NEVER be accidental. I dont care what the situation is. If you love someone and truly want to be with them, you should have no desire to have sex with somebody else PERIOD! Now dont get me wrong, it’s okay to find other people attractive but to cross that line is just ugh! I could go on all day about this lbvs so let me stop..
I’m kinda torn in this; see I’m seeing a guy I care for highly & am pretty much in love with…but he’s married. I get crap for it all the time but he’s fallen out of love with his wife so when we started fooling around, he became to see me more of a lover than anything…but..no I dont think cheating is accidental but I think sometimes there are big, and legit, reasons for cheating (I dont condone cheating, but if u arent happy ure gonna cheat)
i have cheated before and i was intoxicated when this happened , honestly i never denied and said it was an accident. No i took responsibility for my actions , so if you ever make the excuse “i was drunk and didn’t know what i was doing” , think about it first . Why put yourself into that situation in the first place if you knew you couldn’t handle it . After all that came my guilt and sorriness confronting my boyfriend.
i think cheating is disgusting and never accidental unless you don’t know you’re cheating. for example if your boyfriend has another girlfriend but you don’t know. it doesn’t make it right but isn’t that accidental?
TOTALLY NOT ACCIDENTIAL! i mean come on! do u RELY think that someone can *accidently* cheat? if u say “oh but i was drinking!” well shouldnt you know that that would happen? there may be a first for everything but cheating *accidently* isnt anything but an excuse to not get dumped when they deserve it </3
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Sorry babe, dunno how it happened, but my clothes all fell off and I tripped and fell on top of him long enough for him to climax.
And then it happened again, like a day later. Crazy things have been happening.
Seriously? -__-
Cheating is a CONSCIOUS decision to release all ties you have to someone else so that you can be with them, emotionally or physically. NOT when someone else attacks you out of nowhere with a kiss.
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I dont think cheating is an accident, but i think some people have their reasons for it.
I once cheated because i was in a relationship and to begin with he gave me lots of love and attention and said nice things to me etc.. but then further down the line he stopped giving me attention, didnt show me any love and actually started speaking to me terribly.
I didnt want to cheat for the physical side of it, i just craved someone to be nice to me and show me some compassion. I think everything has a reason and you cant be judged on it unless you know the real reasons.
I agree with LollipopPuppet: In her situation it wasn’t her fault and she couldn’t control it. If it’s rape, obviously that’s not your fault either. But if you engage in sexual that’s mutual and you don’t say no, no matter if you’re drunk or not, that’s cheating. But if a guy grabs you and pushes you down and kisses you or touches you, that’s not your fault at all. I’m pretty sure most guys would understand that. At least I know my boyfriend would attack the guy that did it, and not blame me at all.
Honestly, months ago i was hanging out with my ex, just sitting there watching tv doing homework, we started being friends again finally and well, i guess we were both still physically attracted to each other because we ended up kissing. It wasn’t just a peck either it was like a long and lingering kiss, left me breathless and very confused. I knew i didn’t love him but i had to decide if i 100% was in love with my boyfriend, turns out i am and i was just feeling lust for my ex. lust is a human emotion and sometimes it takes over and accidents happen, however, sex is not an accident, if u go that far u know what you’re doing.
I don’t think it can be accidental. I’ve gotten very drunk several times around attractive people but I always knew that I shouldn’t do anything with them so I didn’t. There is still a little part of you that knows it is cheating so for me there is no excuse!
I was hanging out with a guy-friend once and HE kissed ME (we were just walking along and he picked me up and kissed me. I was caught totally off-guard.), and when my boyfriend found out about it he accused me of cheating and has never forgiven me for something that was never my fault to begin with. -_-