How do you know if a guy is dating you because he genuinely likes you or because he is using you to get something he wants?
Just as a guy will give off specific signals that he’s into you, there are also plenty of telltale signs that a dude is only in it for himself. For example:
If the only friend of his you’ve met in three months of dating is his roommate, he might be a player.
If he can’t make plans more than fifteen minutes in advance, he might be a player.
If he breaks out in hives at the mere mention of the word “relationship,” he might be a player.
If he only dials your number when it’s after midnight and he’s on his way home from a party he didn’t invite you to, shouting “I’m makin’ a call…for that booty!” he might be a player.
The bottom line is that anyone you’re dating seriously should be expected to put in as much effort as you. It should never take a guy more than a day to return a text, email, or phone call. He should seem excited about gradually incorporating you into most aspects of his life.
And sure, he may prefer a game of basketball or Halo with the boys to a night of spooning and watching The Notebook — but he should be willing to make occasional sacrifices if he’s into you for the right reasons. If you’re consistently disappointed by or uncomfortable with the level of interest he’s showing, then he’s obviously not invested in your feelings.
To begin taking a partner for granted a few years into a relationship is a common problem that certainly needs to be addressed, but it’s especially crucial for a man to woo a lady during those first few formative months. An after-dark-only fling is great if both parties are on board. But if your love interest isn’t making time for “date night” at least once a week (1AM trips to IHOP followed by heavy petting don’t count), don’t consider him a serious contender.
Ethan Fixell is a writer and comedian from New York City best known as one half of comic “dating coach” duo Dave and Ethan. He is also the creator and editor of ActualConversation.com. For more on Ethan, visit EthanFixell.com…or call his mom, Robin.