Ask A Guy: How Do You Know If A Guy Is Using You?

guy texting

And sure, he may prefer a game of basketball or Halo with the boys to a night of spooning and watching The Notebook — but he should be willing to make occasional sacrifices if he’s into you for the right reasons. If you’re consistently disappointed by or uncomfortable with the level of interest he’s showing, then he’s obviously not invested in your feelings.

To begin taking a partner for granted a few years into a relationship is a common problem that certainly needs to be addressed, but it’s especially crucial for a man to woo a lady during those first few formative months. An after-dark-only fling is great if both parties are on board. But if your love interest isn’t making time for “date night” at least once a week (1AM trips to IHOP followed by heavy petting don’t count), don’t consider him a serious contender.

Good luck!

Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “What is he thinking?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Ethan, email him at!


Should you worry if he sends you one word texts?


Ethan Fixell is a writer and comedian from New York City best known as one half of comic “dating coach” duo Dave and Ethan. He is also the creator and editor of For more on Ethan, visit…or call his mom, Robin.

Posted in: Ask A Guy, Love Advice
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  • vanika sharma

    me and my boyfriend met 4 months ago
    actually the problem is that i really think that he is using me
    since last week we had nt call or text each other
    i am nt saying tha the can cheat on me but i always think that he dont have any feelings fr me

  • julia

    i need help asap!!!plz i am a freshman in highschool.I like this boy he is a senior.we have been talking for about a month and a half now…Well just recently we stopped talking it has been 2 days.I hear things from other people that he plays to much.But of course i did not listen to them.But i promised my self i would be careful and i would not catch feelings but i did.But i realized he has been trying to get me to go over to house and i say no or idk.I never go because i am not dumb.I caught feelings for him and he told that he feel for me hard but idk if he is playing me….he tells me he likes me and he wants to be serious with me and not play games but i am so confused.And on Tuesday he asked me out and i told him idk……ever since it kinda went down hill we talk less and less now idk what to do is it my fault or is he playing me?!?!?!?!

  • Billi_joe

    My boyfriend and I are dating since 10 months. He’s the nicest guy I’ve ever met. He’s very shy. I did the first move. In the beginning, it was him who always wanted us to meet. Even though I did the first move, I was a bit scared of what it will become. We are together since. We complete each other. I am always stressed out, nervous, afraid, sometimes negative. He’s the opposite: calme, positive, quiet…
    But I hate something about him. He sucks at communicating. When we are together, it’s great. But when we are apart, he texts or call me only if needed. For him, texts or calls aren’t necessary because it’s better when we see each other in person. In the beginning he was the one who was always texting me asking when will we see each other or planning things like movies or restaurants. But now, I feel like he lost all interests in me. He went on vacation this summer one month and barely texts me. Now he’s out of town for the NYE for the weekend with his friends and won’t even respond to my snap. I see him online on social media, but not once will he answer. I told him that I would leave him alone and won’t text or call him so he can enjoy being with his friends but secretly I’d hope he would answered and it doesn’t bothered him. Instead he just answered, it’s nice of you, thank you. Does it mean that I am bothering him on our daily-basis conversations ?

    I know he loves me, but I feel like he losts all interests in me and isn’t in love with me anymore. Should I be worrried ?