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How does she choose? | Source: ShutterStock
Dear Heather,
I had sex with my ex while dating my current boyfriend. I feel really bad about it, but the problem is that I’m in love with both of them and I don’t want to hurt either of them. Any advice on what I should do???
Eek! Sorry to say girl, but you have definitely gotten yourself into a complicated situation here. Being stuck between two guys is a really hard place to be in, and I’m sure you’re experiencing lots of confusing emotions that are stressing you out. The only thing you can do here is make a decision, as hard as it may be. It’s not fair to keep stringing along both guys, especially if your boyfriend doesn’t know you cheated on him. I know you don’t want to hurt anyone, but unfortunately, someone is going to get hurt here.
The first thing you need to do is ask yourself a few questions: Why did you and your ex break up? Did you ever really let yourself get over him? Do you think you guys could honestly work things out if you gave it a shot? In most cases, an ex is an ex for a reason – and going back to him might end up being a disaster. You really need to think about your past relationship with him. You also need to talk to him (without hooking up). Find out his feelings about you, and discuss what things would be like if you two gave it another shot.
Sookie from True Blood definitely understands. | Source: ShutterStock and s_bukley
Now ask yourself a few questions about your current boyfriend: What do you love about him? Do you two have a great relationship? Could he possibly be a rebound from your ex? This might sound ridiculous, but make a pro/con list for both guys. It might help you really consider what you like and don’t like about both of them and help you make a decision.
If you still can’t make up your mind once you really think about everything, you should break up with your boyfriend. It’s not fair to him for you to stay with him while you have feelings for someone else – especially since you’ve already acted on those feelings. Be honest with both of these dudes and tell them you’re super confused and you need some time to yourself to think. Maybe clearing your head and being on your own will help you figure out where your heart is.
take care,
Heather
What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com
I was with this guy for 6 years. We are married. Well the relationship was going south and another man came along. I’m now separated from my husband and dating this new guy. We have only been dating a short time, but he started to neglect me and it turned out to be the relationship I wanted to avoid. I started talking to my husband again. The strange thing is I’ve been completely honest with both of them, about everyhing and they won’t give up. I’m confused and don’t know who to choose. The thing about these situations is only I can fix this. It’s my life.
Loving 2 people doesn’t make you a whore. We have feelings and strong emotions. Our hearts are very fragile and every individual is different.
i have a friend, a childhood friend i love him, i have never had sex wit him nd we ar okay dat way bt unfortunately we had problem and i fell in love wit another guy nd i love him so much. I had sex wit him but now my ex boyfriend is back and i stil love him. I dnt want 2 cheat my new guy cos he love me. Now my question is what wil i do now if my first guy find out dat am not stil a virgin nd if my new guy find out dat am cheating on him? Please help me out.
I’m in a relationship with my current boyfriend and I also started seeing this guy but he has a female I just let my feelings get into him. I also really don’t want to be in a relationship with either. I need help
I am in the wierdest love triangle/friend situation ever!… It goes like this… I started dating this older guy whilst I was studying at university and we dated for a good few months and I really liked him a lot, and when he went away around 6months ago I really hoped we could stay friends or maybe pick up where we left off when he came back. But looking back on it though,I really don’t think we are right for each other but I just don’t know! So whilst I was hoping that maybe something would happen with him when he came back, his brother who is my age who I didn’t know very well before moved back home! We became good friends but he was always very sexual and touchy feely with me. I said to him it was wierd but we both laughed it off because we are so jokey around eachother… anyway we have become so close now and did end up sleeping together but now that it’s happened I’ve realised I don’t really like him in that way but instead love him as a friend! but now it’s like I have lead him along and it’ll be difficult to change the way we are with each other flirting all the time and just get back to being really good friends…. the thing is hes a great friend and I dont wanna lose him as that but I don’t know what to do! and his brother is coming back home soon too and will be told by either me or his brother and then he will most likely not be very happy about it all… and I think I still have feelings for him but I’m worried nothing can happen now because I have been horrible and they will probably both hate me and I will have the worst name ever…. AHHHHH what should I do?
I am in love the worst love triangle possible! I am in love with my boyfriend that I have been with for the past two years and MY best friend. They are both the most fantastic guys in the entire world and either of them would do anything for me at any given moment. I have put a lot of thought into who I love more and why I love them more. I have and truly feel that my boyfriend now is the one I want to be with I am crazy about him and I can see us being together for a very long time, however, I have cheated on him with my best friend. I know it’s horrible and most people will call me a selfish cheating whore, I deserve that. Hear me out though I never did anything to hurt either of them I just loved them both so much, and things just got out of hand. But I have told my best friend that anything besides strictly just friends can no longer continue. Now do I tell my boyfriend what I have done? I know he won’t break up with me, but he won’t ever want me talking to my best friend anymore. It breaks my heart to lose either of them. HELP?!? )’:
you are a filthy cheating whore and you dont deserve anyone.
good point
hmph, IF Jessica was say “jason” would he be “a filthy cheating whore that didn’t deserve anyone”? Just wondering.
Hey guys ! I really need help.
So I’ve been dating this guy for 9 months . Sep. 9 will be our 10th month anniversary . .. ( he doesn’t really pay attention to those though) .
In the beginning of our relationship it was perfect . He always wrote me love letters and texted & called me… then out of nowhere he stoped doing those things.. I still see him Sats. & weds. That’s it and sometimes not at all . I recently started talking to this new guy , he’s super sweet & the perfect boyfriend . But, he’s my 2nd cousin’s 4th cousin… is that wrong? If I were to date him? When we started talking, I never even knew he was my 2nd coiusin’s 4thcousin … he says he’s in love wwith me and I feel as though I am too. I don’t know what to do and I need help :/
I’m in a love triangle with two good guys and I need help
in triangle,1 guy loved for longgggggggggggggggggg time other guy just relized i like him sigh
I am in the same situation, please help
I’m in a love triangle now and it’s hard because they are brothers. What makes it worse is they are TWINS! But I guess it’s not really an issue for me since I know I’m in love with one and not the other. I guess it’s a problem for him not me but I feel kinda bad because they are both my best friends and I don’t want to come between brothers or ruin our friendship. I’ve made my choice though to love one of them and I dont regret it. He’s my superman and I love him forever and always mwah!
SO, I met this boy . who was so conceited. which made me even more attracted to him. Heplayed hard to get, and i did also. In the beginning i only liked him for his looks, but eventually i really caught feelings for him. After talking for about a month & a half , he asked me out. he was a whole new person. the sweetest boy ever . we talked on the phone for hours and one morning at 6 am i told him i was beginning to fall in love with him . he quickly responded that he was glad i felt that way but he wasn’t there yet . I accepted this happily, because he said yet . all my friends thought i was living the dream my bf was attractive, all the girls wanted him, funny, & the sweetest.i thought this boy was a whole new person. no longer the player type … then, he begin to slowly change into a douche bag one day we got into a argument , and i was asking his bf what to do, he & i spent the whole night on the phone together . his best friend was amazing . long story short i fell for both of them . in an act of desperation trying to save my bf & i’s relationship bc i love him , i lost my virginity to him. thinking this would fix things . overall . it did not. things were good for awhile afterwards but then it went back to the way it used to be. we broke up. OVERALL, though we broke up about two weeks later . i love him. and i never cheated on him physically. its hard for me. bc honestly even if he was a jerk, i still love him . and i hope that one day things will smooth out & maybe fate will bring us back together.
What happened to the best friend?
Dating is when you and the other person are going out to get to know each other. It’s the same thing as you are seenig someone . The two of you go out to dinner or a movie to just get to know one another better. When you start calling the other person your boyfriend/girlfriend then that means you know each other well enough to take things to the next level. Your relationship becomes more intimate.Now, in love means you have a very strong connection with a person. Every time you are with them you start feeling a chill or excitement overtaking your body. In love, like the word, is a strong feeling of emotion. It’s stronger then the feeling you get when you are around a family member. Loving somone is like another way of saying you care about that person. I Love my best friend a lot, but not the way I love my husband. I care about them both a lot, I don’t know what I would do if one of them ever got hurt. However, when it comes to sharing special moments of my life with someone, I enjoy sharing it with my husband. When it comes to my friend, we just sit there, laugh, and gossip. When it comes to my husband, we like to cuddle, hold each other, and be close. Hope this helps.
Well right now im caught in a love triangle. Im in love with me ex and my boyfriend. Me and my ex talk all the time. We say we love each other and those cute conversations & well we could talk forever about anything . But now he got a girlfriend and she don’t like me. But my boyfriend im with now he says he loves me all the time tells me im his everything, is there for me . But there both kinda the same in a way. And im confused because people say he’s an ex for a reason, yea ik. But i don’t know who to choose. Help Me Pleasee !!!
First, you should tell yo boyfriend that yo hooked up with yo ex. A relationship can not be based of of lies!!
My ex broke up with me a long time ago, i was hurt because we promised each other to wait until I am allowed to have a boyfriend. I am so angry at him. After some time, my best friend confessed to me that he likes me, and wanted to be with me, I was so okay with it, and after a bit, I fell for him. I told myself that I’m okay, and finally moved on. Then after that, we promised. again. that he’ll wait for me, but now, I’m having a little bit trouble, because my feelings with my ex is coming back. But I promised to someone already, I just dont know what to do… :’(
I was in a love triangle once too. I liked this guy for a reaaaally long time but when I thought I’d never have a chance with him, I started dating this other guy who later turned into my boyfriend. He was sort of the guy of my dreams but then the guy I liked for a long time admitted his feelings for me and then all the feelings I had for him came back. I ended up breaking up with the poor guy2 to go out with guy1 only to find out he’s a real jerk and I wasted my time and threw away a relationship that could’ve lasted for months. I still regret making my decision.
I found myself in a love triangle when two guys (who were close friends) both fell for me at camp. I fell for both, but I ended up chasing after the one. A few months down the road, after a failed “let’s be friends before we date but say cute things to eachother every time we talk and be jealous of other people and demand commitment from one another” sort of friendship, my friendship with the one faded. Through everything, the other guy remained my friend, despite his feelings. Two or three months after things fell away with guy one, I realized the extent of my feelings for guy two. A year and a half later, I still care about him and he still cares about me, but we’re faced with another love triangle. This time, there’s another girl that he cares for. I’m patient enough to wait for him, and I care enough to fight for him. We’ll see how this goes.