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It should feel . . . like this. | Source: Shutterstock
How do you know if you’ve had an orgasm? Let’s see if I can help.
One way to help figure out if you have had an orgasm is to understand what is an orgasm in the first place. Basically, orgasms are the combination of two things. The first is that as a woman gets turned-on, she builds up muscle tension around her pelvis. During an orgasm all this built-up tension releases. The second thing that happens is that at the same time that this tension (or myotonia, if you want to really get technical) is released, a flood of hormones flows into the body. When it happens together, the hormone flow and muscle tension release cause intensely pleasurable feelings. These are often centered around the genitals, but they can be felt all over.
If this doesn’t sound like something you’ve experienced, don’t despair! Pretty much anyone can learn how to have an orgasm.
One of the best ways to do this is by masturbating (aka: touching yourself). When you are alone and the pressure’s off you can experiment with different types of sensation. Plus, you won’t feel rushed or like you have to perform, and you can let yourself fantasize about what turns you on without worrying about what is going on with someone else. Don’t be discouraged if things don’t click right away. Learning how to orgasm can take a lot of practice, both alone and with a partner.
Right after I had sex for the first time, my high school boyfriend turned away from me and mumbled into my hair, “So, um, did you come?”
I was pretty sure that I hadn’t, but it seemed embarrassing and rude, and maybe a little critical and mood-killing to mention this. So instead of telling him the truth, I said, “Yeah, it was really nice,” and left it at that.
It wasn’t that I was totally lying. The experience had been nice enough. But like a lot of girls’ first (or fifth or seventy-fifth) times, it also hadn’t exactly been orgasmic.
Trying is the fun part! | Source: Shutterstock
In my case, this was a pretty clear result of inexperience and cluelessness about what I needed to do to be able to come. For other girls, not climaxing can be caused by everything from unrealistic expectations, to awful sex, to discomfort with their bodies, discomfort with their partners, or even discomfort with sex itself.
But whatever the reason, the fact remains: a lot of girls are having a lot of sex that isn’t ending in fireworks. It’s not that sex has to be mind-blowing every time, or that orgasms should always be the ultimate goal. But plenty of girls who would like to throw an orgasm into the mix, aren’t quite getting there.
So what can you do if this is the boat you’re in? One thing is to remember that our bodies are not machines that all work identically. Many people have gotten the message that simply inserting part A into slot B should result in earth-shattering orgasms, and when it doesn’t work like this, we feel like we (or our partners) are doing something wrong.
The fact is, most girls orgasm from clitoral stimulation, not from vaginal penetration, and that stimulation often needs to go on for long time. We’re talking anywhere from 6 minutes to 60. Really. It could take an hour of sexy times to get you to orgasm. And you know what? That’s fine, that’s great, that’s awesome.
Take your time and figure it out. You’ll have fun all along the way even if you don’t orgasm every time.
Want More Orgasm Tips? Here You Go!
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I started having orgasims around age 11 but dont worry, u will have one. I am 15 but i never had good sex, tips?
i really don,t know what is an organism?
Hi yer its bloody good and I’m like 14 and is amazing the best thing is u got that tingling and when u say to ur partner ooooohhhh oooooo yer that’s goood and her lips tuch my dick and my lips tuch have fanny
I am 16 and haven’t had a orgasm yet its not fair also how do u masterbate? Please someone tell me what to do!
i had hard time finishing with my boyfriend for a while. but recently ive found something that works AMAZING. instead of him eating me out, after he finishes he rubs his penis against my clit and within a minute or two.. BAM. most. amazing. orgasm. ever.
I am 19 and i am with tis guy who makes me feel so specal, i mean no guy has ever made me feel this way before. I am super confident wiith him and we try lots of differen things. I told him the other week that i have never had an orgasm before, no one has ever made me orgasm and he said that he would help me get to it. Its embaressing that i had to tell him that but i trust him. He has been tryiing and trying for me and i feel like i can get to the climax but then for some reason i lose it. im wracking my brain and i need your guys help i cant hold on to the orgasm and i dont know why. please help me
OMG IT FEELS SO GREAT JUST SLIP UR HAND IN UR PANTS N MASSAGE UR VAGINA IF U DO IT A FEW TIMES UR WILL GET AN ORGASM IT FEELS SO GREAT I DO IT EVERY NIGHT
disgusting!
Oh hell yeah it’s amazing and the tingling sensation AHHH ohhh yeah harder harrrder!! Don’t stop yeah lol my sexy noises
It feels really awrsome,tingiling and goosebumps all over ur body ur eyes go up and by the time u know it u come .leaves u feelin so g0000000d
it ffeeeeelllsssss ammmaaaazzziiinngg it just feeels so freking good you should try it
weird guys
I have never had an orgasm and I am 20 years old and still to this day do not know what to do even when I’m masturbating I do not have one. I think its weird because my boyfriend always ask me hey baby did you cum and I would be speechless.
Get a rabbit vibrator or a bullet…let him play with it on you or if you’re embarrassed just play with them by yourself…they are awesome and you will have an O eventually…be patient, I didn’t have a real O till I was almost 30 ;(
You know the robostir thingy, the thing that stirs for you? Take the vibrating part off& instant vibrator, whadda orgasm, lemme tell you(;
i am m , 41 years ,i have differed experience about sex , one with my wife 2 nd with my girl friend ,i am more satisfied with my girl friend ,
man always think about her partner orgasm , in my case i do sex with them they get orgasm several time until i get come out , when my partner get orgasm she will tighten my body with hands and lugs will get tighten automatically and she get tired on that time her vagina we feel shrink little by little , my girl friend had married around 18 years, she had orgasm in 18 years only 2 to 3 times , she was thinking all the girls is having the same , she discus her friends about orgasm , they are also the same experiences , some of then never happens , when we start sex together, she is so happy she is enjoying her life with me in a haven , we do sex in every alternative months/ only two days , because i am working in out side country , in those days we do sex more than ten times each time she get orgasm , i will get three or four time , actually my satisfaction is she get orgasm , i am so happy and get more more interest to start next sex , my girl friend is more romantic she will express her feeling by should, movements and some romantic words ext.. that i get interest and satisfaction
Yeah, I am a guy and I’m 16 and I never knew what an organism was. This site really did help me understand what it is. So yeah, thanks people whoever made this.
Today I was just ya know, experimenting with my vagina and I had a really bad back ache, so I got the electrical vibrating back massager, intending on massaging my back, but I found it slowly slipping down my pants.
First orgasm I’ve ever had & let me tell you, best thing ever. I’d never had one before then but it felt soooo pleasurable, I didn’t know I was having one at first because I didn’t know you could have one my masturbating, just by having sex. But now I know!
So, if you’re looking to have an orgasm, use an electrical back massager, usually one that vibrates too works really well, I put it on “high” and thats the most I’ve ever come or been wet. My undies were soaked! c:
I have never gotten an orgasm from anyone else, only from masturbation… :\
You can always teach them to make you orgasm, guide their fingers (including the one between their legs) to the spots that give you the most pleasure.
I love this sight so much. Its so straight forward and honest. I love it.
I didn’t know for a while if I had had one or not but I know now that I have lots, it is not so difficult for me. But while they are awesome it’s not such a big deal for me, I really enjoy sex regardless of whether I have an orgasm or not. Sometimes it is almost too intense or something. Sometimes when my boyfriend is touching me, I have had 1 or 2 orgasms and I just want to have sex now but he seems to enjoy teasing me like that. I feel bad because I should be grateful to have a guy that thinks about what I need/want but I often don’t want that and think most guys would love having a girl that didn’t need much foreplay. I’ve never faked an orgasm, but I’ve never said I didn’t have one either. It’s not something we really talk about, I guess he can tell I am enjoying myself so doesn’t need to ask.
Well, I’ve had more than my fair share of orgasms and what I learned is 1) you have to know your own body. If you dont know that touching point A then B then C makes you feel good, you are building a house with no foundation. 2) you have to be comfortable with your partner and that is sometimes daunting in its own way. If your afraid that the way you moan or a place that feels good to you will make your partner turn away, the sex isn’t going to be good because your too afraid to relax and let things happen. Have faith in your partner and talk to them prior to the big moment to express concerns and worries 3) Be willing to laugh at yourself and your partner during the moment. Bodies make werid sounds and scents during sex and sometimes they are really funny or really embarssing but once you except them and move on, they’ll become another pleasant step on the road to orgasm heaven.
I’ve never had an orgasm while masturbating before. I think I might stimulate my clit too much, because when it gets to the point where I feel like I’m on my way to coming, it starts to ache a little.
I don’t think faking an orgasm is ever a good idea… if you do, your partner will never figure out what they need to do to give you that pleasure. (I’ve never had an orgasm, and while at first this was really frustrating, I think I’m getting closer to figuring out what I need to get there.)
That being said, I must confess that I’ve not exactly faked, but exaggerated my moaning for my partners sake. I’m fairly quiet durning sexy times (doing anything more then heavy breathing just feels weird and dramatic to me), but I know he likes the noises I do make and it feels… rude not to make them. I also feel like it’d be insulting if I told him flat out that I didn’t come, so when he asks I usually just say “I don’t know” and change the subject.