Boards
Why are they so weird around their buddies? | Source: ShutterStock
Dear Ethan,
Why do guys act so immature in front of their friends? When my boyfriend is with me, he’s so sweet and stuff, but then when we’re with his friends he acts totally different. It’s so annoying! Why can’t guys just be normal all the time?
This is an easy one: we act immature with our friends because guys are immature!
Well, okay, there’s more to it than that…
Although girls generally begin the process of puberty at the average age of 10 or 11, boys don’t start until 12 or 13. Girls reach reproductive maturity within four years of puberty’s onset, while boys continue to grow for about six years after their initial physical changes. The rate at which we physically mature also affects the way we think, behave, and of course, interact with the opposite sex.
Guys can continue to lag behind women beyond puberty, celebrating inappropriate fart jokes well into their 30s (I can say fairly confidently that this writer will be one of those men). Meanwhile, because females have a specific biological window during which they can have children, women are more likely to be ready for serious relationships before men are.
It's okay if he acts like these guys once in a while. | Source: ShutterStock
Reinforce these discrepencies with plenty of cultural influences (has there ever been a TV show more frightening for dudes than Bridezillas?), and it becomes less cool for a guy to get tied down. The younger (or less mature) the guy, the more easily influenced – and therefore, cavalier about your relationship – he might be when around friends. In a nutshell, your boyfriend is likely masking his vulnerability, and the fact that he actually loves you lots.
Of course, he might also just have other interests with his friends that you two don’t share. If so, let him re-enact scenes from Jackass with his buddies; ignore his descriptive stories about flaming dog poop. But be sure to lay the smack down when you feel he’s out of line: don’t ever let him disrespect you in private or in public. And if he can’t learn from his mistakes, call one of your girlfriends up to make your own Jackass video by kicking him to the curb.
Good luck!
Ethan
Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “What is he thinking?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Ethan, email him at askaguy@gurl.com!
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I know how that feels and I hate it so much he treats me so much better alone but when he’s friends come along he changes let’s he’s friends call me names behind my back I told if he dares to try anything he was goin find himself girlfriendless until varsity I love it when he acts imature with me and his friends it shows me he trusts me but he still treats me extra special
It’s fine when guys are immature with their friends. heck, I’m a total spaz when I’m with my friends! Friends make you goofy and immature and silly and stupid! It’s a frikkin fact.
hahaha. I’ve grown up with guys, and to be honest i find it f*cking hilarious when they do that stuff. really you just have to learn to laugh at some of the stupid stuff cause it really does turn out funny sometimes. and don’t get me wrong i don’t mean letting them act like total a$s hats to you.
Ok dumb ass who asked the question because hes sweet to you cause your his girl friend he acts immature to his friends because he can act himself around his friends cause they don’t care. Lets say this: he burps in front of his friends they don’t care but if he burps in front of you you would thing he is immature. For doing so
Well honestly I’ve known this guy for a while and we were sorta friends before we started going out. And before that he always acted stupid with his friends, it’s not like I could stop him now? Plus I hang out with all guys all the times anyways so just as long as he treats me right then it’s all good
Hey, if you’re cool with it, then that’s all that matters!
Glad to hear you’ve found a good guy.
-Ethan
it is TOTALLY okay for me! i mean its kinda cute
and it makes me feel that i’m special! he treats me in a special way but sure still being himself!