Camel Toe? Oh Hell To The No!

Mariah Carey Camel Toe 2012

Somebody should have told Mariah about her camel toe! | Source: WENN

Okay, I’m just going to come out and say it: Camel toes are seriously disturbing. Not only do they make girls look like they have something more than a little bit frightening going on between their legs, but they also look like they should be causing a world of hurt on those delicate lady parts of ours! If you have no idea what I’m talking about so far or haven’t heard the term “Camel Toe,” don’t worry, I’ve got you covered.

When I was a kid my mom put me in gymnastics classes with hopes that I would be the next U.S. Olympian in ribbon dancing or something. Obviously, that didn’t happen, but something else did… I learned of the infamous camel toe. For some reason it seemed like the older girls who were actually (unlike me) really serious about the sport and had been doing it for a long time had just never gotten around to buying new leotards as they got older. The girls got bigger and those pesky little leotards just stayed the same stinkin’ size.

Those older girls would walk by in a single file line heading to the vault or the high beam or who even knows but they all had something in common—something a little weird looking going on down there. I noticed it immediately. Seriously I’m not being dramatic, this repulsive image is scarred in my brain. It looked like leotard was, for some reason, much tighter in the middle area of their lady parts and looser on the edges. Which basically…. Made it look like their lady parts had been split in two or something!

Obviously, I had to ask my mom (since we didn’t have Gurl at the time) about my big “discovery” of the day and that’s when I learned that the official name for the abomination was “Camel Toe.”

Let it sink in for a second, ladies. I bet you’re starting to understand where the name came from… yes, it’s disgusting. I can bet you a ton of money that no girl in her right mind wants to walk past the dreamy person of her dreamiest dreams with a crotch disaster like a camel toe. I’ll set the scene.

Her long beautiful hair is blowing in the wind…he flashes her a cute one dimpled smile…she looks up into his sparking eyes… AND HIS AREN’T STARING BACK AT HER’S BECAUSE HE IS TRANSFIXED ON THE GIANT CAMEL TOE HER HIGH-WASISTED PANTS ARE CAUSING.

Yes ladies, that is the image that we want to avoid. So, in a situation as dire as this one, there are certain things we’ve got to do to keep our privates well…private! We’ve got to always be on the lookout for hints of the Arabian Desert (camel joke? ehh nevermind) especially when it comes to tight fitting pants like hot pants, high-waisted shorts, leggings and even some tight fitting jeans. Before we walk outside in that bathing suit, we’ve got to make sure that it’s not riding up in the front. And by all means, (let’s make a little promise here) if we get a camel toe, we MUST take care of it before someone else notices!

And if you’re walking down the street with a big obvious camel toe, please don’t get offended when I call you out on that atrocious monster. I just saved you from losing the smooching partner of your dreams! You’re welcome.

Have you ever had to tell a friend she had a camel toe? Have you ever realized you had one in leggings or jeggings? Tell me about it in the comments!

Now For A Biggie: What’s Up With Discharge?!


Posted in: Health, Sex & Relationships
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  • bruce w. baker

    As long as its not bleeding a stain, i love it ! To bad girls don’t seem to itch there? Why can’t i adjust/ scratch my junk when it’s driving me nuts, ha, ha, ?

  • Nicole

    I’m a 14 year old girl and I get camel toes and it doesn’t bother me and I don’t mind having them I don’t know what these other girls are talking about.

  • Anonymous

    Are you kidding me? I’m lesbian, and camel toes are hot af

  • Candi

    The author of this article needs to get her head out of her ass!
    Who the hell is she to tell us women how to wear our pants.
    What is next…..if our nipples poke out she will tell us women that is nasty and disgusting too!
    Face it women have TITS…NIPPLES…and VAGINAS.
    Sometimes they show through our clothes.
    I only let my husband buy me clothes that give me camel toe and since I do not wear a bra my nipples tend to poke through at times also.
    Why is there such a double standard for women?
    No one complains when a mans nipples are visible through a shirt.
    No one complains when a mans hard dick bulge is visible in his pants/shorts.
    Grow up people!

    Us women are beautiful and sexy.
    If our nipples poke through or we have a camel toe deal with it.
    It happens.
    Why not take up more important issues like how bras are a leading cause in breast cancer to women.
    Why are we women not taking on this fight and letting society and bra companies continue to kill us with bras!
    Look how long it took before we won the fight against tobacco companies.
    We need to fight back against the bra companies like we did to tobacco companies.

    Come on ladies (and men too) fight back for our health!

    • pila

      uh feel free to show us your nips and camel toe but you’ll end up with a bunch of pervs starring at you

  • Macc

    Nothing wrong with it at all and it isn’t disgusting. Get over yourselves.

  • Rogelio Camacho

    As a man I do not find disgusting the sight of a came toe, but I do wonder if it is on purpose or if it is possible that as a girl you don’t feel it and are unaware that you are showing it ?

  • Vicente San Martin

    camel toe in Leggings Or spandex on some female’s it looks real nice but on others God Help them looks like something is going to fall out

  • CMFINC

    All I can say is al these post about camel toe and how to prevent them, and this toe hider and these pants will not show and so on is ALL A BUNCH OF Bull CRAP!!!! Ladies.. to start with there is nothing wrong with you if you have a large labia and some have small ones. Just like boobs. People are not all the same.. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU BIG OR SMALL LABIA. And in fact.. take a poll. and bet you find a lot of guys think the camel toe look is sexy. All this B.S is women trying to make other women think there not as sexy as so and so. Or give young ladies a complex about mother nature . Or is it the ladies trying to say the camel toe thing is not sexy is because they don’t have one and the husband or boy friend find them sexy??? HHHHHMMMMMMM Ladies. You are all sexy in your own way. My self love the camel toe look.. And in now way a shamed of my wife in tight leggings. And in fact I buy her stuff to make it show. AND ITS SEXY…

  • “Made it look like their lady parts had been split in two or something!”
    I don’t think you understand how vaginas work, maybe you should like grab a mirror or something. o.0