Camel Toe? Oh Hell To The No!

Mariah Carey Camel Toe 2012

Somebody should have told Mariah about her camel toe! | Source: WENN

Okay, I’m just going to come out and say it: Camel toes are seriously disturbing. Not only do they make girls look like they have something more than a little bit frightening going on between their legs, but they also look like they should be causing a world of hurt on those delicate lady parts of ours! If you have no idea what I’m talking about so far or haven’t heard the term “Camel Toe,” don’t worry, I’ve got you covered.

When I was a kid my mom put me in gymnastics classes with hopes that I would be the next U.S. Olympian in ribbon dancing or something. Obviously, that didn’t happen, but something else did… I learned of the infamous camel toe. For some reason it seemed like the older girls who were actually (unlike me) really serious about the sport and had been doing it for a long time had just never gotten around to buying new leotards as they got older. The girls got bigger and those pesky little leotards just stayed the same stinkin’ size.

Those older girls would walk by in a single file line heading to the vault or the high beam or who even knows but they all had something in common—something a little weird looking going on down there. I noticed it immediately. Seriously I’m not being dramatic, this repulsive image is scarred in my brain. It looked like leotard was, for some reason, much tighter in the middle area of their lady parts and looser on the edges. Which basically…. Made it look like their lady parts had been split in two or something!

Obviously, I had to ask my mom (since we didn’t have Gurl at the time) about my big “discovery” of the day and that’s when I learned that the official name for the abomination was “Camel Toe.”

Let it sink in for a second, ladies. I bet you’re starting to understand where the name came from… yes, it’s disgusting. I can bet you a ton of money that no girl in her right mind wants to walk past the dreamy person of her dreamiest dreams with a crotch disaster like a camel toe. I’ll set the scene.

Her long beautiful hair is blowing in the wind…he flashes her a cute one dimpled smile…she looks up into his sparking eyes… AND HIS AREN’T STARING BACK AT HER’S BECAUSE HE IS TRANSFIXED ON THE GIANT CAMEL TOE HER HIGH-WASISTED PANTS ARE CAUSING.

Yes ladies, that is the image that we want to avoid. So, in a situation as dire as this one, there are certain things we’ve got to do to keep our privates well…private! We’ve got to always be on the lookout for hints of the Arabian Desert (camel joke? ehh nevermind) especially when it comes to tight fitting pants like hot pants, high-waisted shorts, leggings and even some tight fitting jeans. Before we walk outside in that bathing suit, we’ve got to make sure that it’s not riding up in the front. And by all means, (let’s make a little promise here) if we get a camel toe, we MUST take care of it before someone else notices!

And if you’re walking down the street with a big obvious camel toe, please don’t get offended when I call you out on that atrocious monster. I just saved you from losing the smooching partner of your dreams! You’re welcome.

Have you ever had to tell a friend she had a camel toe? Have you ever realized you had one in leggings or jeggings? Tell me about it in the comments!

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Posted in: Health, Sex & Relationships
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62 Comments

  1. avatarDeeree says:

    Ok, the comment about a penis,dildo, and etc going into the vagina which causes it, is NOT true!! I’m still a virgin and I have one. I have observed all females that have on e also have rather fat vaginas .

  2. avatarmerp says:

    Ok woah! Every comment above mine is wrong in some way. Camel toes that are made by clothes are fixable. Buuuut there are natural camel toes too! It’s just excess fat on the labia. Its natural and a lot of women have them. This article is rude and untrue.

  3. avatarhhhhm says:

    Calmel toesv are just fucjhienc cudnsry and a ton of girls yell me its natrul oy looks discustig

  4. avatarMr. Butter says:

    Truth about Vaginas: Camel toes are made when a item (Such as a male penis, a dildo, a strap on dildo etc.) is inserted into the Vagina. It will disappear after a while and after your orgasms leave you.

  5. avatarCC says:

    Myth: camel toes are caused by having a “fat vagina”
    Truth: camel toes are caused by wearing the wrong type of jeans for your body type.
    Recently I’ve had the hardest time finding pants that will fit me without the camel toe happening. I thought there was something wrong with me and I was just going to have to accept it. But I have jeans another try and went to Nordstrom to try on the good, expensive pairs of jeans. Low and behold I found three pairs of different brands of jeans that fit me like they were made for me!! At last there was no camel toe!!! So I discovered that it’s not my “fat vagina” or my body type that’s wrong, it’s the type of jeans.
    Solution: Go shopping, try on as many pairs of jeans as possible in all different styles and cuts until you find the perfect pair of jeans that won’t show off your camel toe :)

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