Usually, when you break up with your significant other, or they break up with you, the last thing you want to do is see them and play nice. The only problem with avoiding them and completely taking them out of your life? That person was once everything to you – and, um, you’re going to miss them.
Do you think it’s possible to put aside those hurt feelings and stay friends with an ex? Sometimes it can seem totally impossible… but then there are those lucky ex-couples who manage to stay BFF for years after their relationship. We saw this topic in the message boards and want to know what you think: can you really stay friends with an ex? Read what these girls had to say and then leave a comment with your thoughts:
So my boyfriend and I broke up yesterday. A year and a half… down the freakin drain.
Anyway, before I go on and on about that which would be pointless… While breaking up with me, he begged me not to be out of his life. He still cares about me and always wants to know I’m okay. I’ve never stayed friends with an ex but he is obviously different to me. I also care about him and want to make sure he’s okay but at the same time, I want to be able to move on and not let this hold me back from wanting a new guy in my life, eventually.
I need to think about me. I’m scared to stay friends because I’m afraid that in the back of my head, I might wonder about getting back together one day. I don’t want to think that way because I don’t wait on anyone!
What’s your opinion in staying friends after breaking up?
I hate to say that I have never seen it work. It is nearly impossible to go back to being friends after you have invested in someone emotionally, and physically, for so long. It is so difficult to forget those feelings and just treat them as a friend. I wish it was possible, but I think it is very difficult. I think that you guys will be able to handle talking every once in awhile. But I wouldn’t think it is a good idea to hang out one on one ever or go out of your way to hang out with him. You deserve to heal and move on (in time) and have a new relationship sometime down the road.
Personally, I am going to have to agree with skaitlin on this one… staying friends with an ex is extremely difficult, especially if there were really strong feelings involved. It’s so hard to learn how to treat your ex as just a friend and nothing more. In my opinion, I think exes are best off staying friendly and polite – but not getting too close again.
However, I have seen it work, so it’s definitely not impossible! If you’re going to attempt to stay friends with your ex, then you need to give it some time – wait a few months after the breakup to reconnect as friends so that you both have the time you need to move on and heal. Don’t try being friends right away. It’s way too hard to fall back into old behaviors and into an on-again-off-again type of relationship.
Who do you agree with? Do you think it’s possible to stay friends with an ex? Have you ever done it? Let us know in the comments.