Boards
Ryan & Rachel are still friends! | Source: S_bukley and ShutterStock
Usually, when you break up with your significant other, or they break up with you, the last thing you want to do is see them and play nice. The only problem with avoiding them and completely taking them out of your life? That person was once everything to you – and, um, you’re going to miss them.
Do you think it’s possible to put aside those hurt feelings and stay friends with an ex? Sometimes it can seem totally impossible… but then there are those lucky ex-couples who manage to stay BFF for years after their relationship. We saw this topic in the message boards and want to know what you think: can you really stay friends with an ex? Read what these girls had to say and then leave a comment with your thoughts:
stayclassy said:
So my boyfriend and I broke up yesterday. A year and a half… down the freakin drain.
Anyway, before I go on and on about that which would be pointless… While breaking up with me, he begged me not to be out of his life. He still cares about me and always wants to know I’m okay. I’ve never stayed friends with an ex but he is obviously different to me. I also care about him and want to make sure he’s okay but at the same time, I want to be able to move on and not let this hold me back from wanting a new guy in my life, eventually.
I need to think about me. I’m scared to stay friends because I’m afraid that in the back of my head, I might wonder about getting back together one day. I don’t want to think that way because I don’t wait on anyone!
What’s your opinion in staying friends after breaking up?
If you're going to try it, give yourself time. | Source: ShutterStock
skaitlin said:
I hate to say that I have never seen it work. It is nearly impossible to go back to being friends after you have invested in someone emotionally, and physically, for so long. It is so difficult to forget those feelings and just treat them as a friend. I wish it was possible, but I think it is very difficult. I think that you guys will be able to handle talking every once in awhile. But I wouldn’t think it is a good idea to hang out one on one ever or go out of your way to hang out with him. You deserve to heal and move on (in time) and have a new relationship sometime down the road.
Personally, I am going to have to agree with skaitlin on this one… staying friends with an ex is extremely difficult, especially if there were really strong feelings involved. It’s so hard to learn how to treat your ex as just a friend and nothing more. In my opinion, I think exes are best off staying friendly and polite – but not getting too close again.
However, I have seen it work, so it’s definitely not impossible! If you’re going to attempt to stay friends with your ex, then you need to give it some time – wait a few months after the breakup to reconnect as friends so that you both have the time you need to move on and heal. Don’t try being friends right away. It’s way too hard to fall back into old behaviors and into an on-again-off-again type of relationship.
Who do you agree with? Do you think it’s possible to stay friends with an ex? Have you ever done it? Let us know in the comments.
How do you feel about making relationships Facebook official?
New Quiz!
Mean Girls Quiz! 
What if your current boyfriend won’t allow it?
I think it’s possible to stay friends after breaking up. I dated my bestfriend, who has been my bestfriend for over 10 years. We broke up and it was awkward for like the first few weeks but now we are just as close as we have always been. I think if you date a friend or want to stay friends really the only major change is the physical stuff.
Yes you can but it takes time apart. The dynamic you had before will never be quite the same but it’s possible. I’m still friends with all my exes but it took time apart to go back to something relatively normal.
yes i think tht they can still be friends because im still friends with my ex and i know alot of people that are! so i say yes! well really it depends on the break up but its still a yes from me!
i’ve stayed friends with all of my ex’s, i don’t think there’s anything wrong with it.. it’s a good thing. one of my ex’s is my best friend:’)
its pretty hard to be friends with an ex especially if you were the one that got dumped. Because if you still like and care for your ex and you’re friends with him, moving on is almost impossible and if they get into an another relationship with someone else, it would be pretty hard to watch the person you love that once loved you, love somebody else..
NO, if there was really love, beautiful, majestically emotion!
Me and my ex are like best friends and we hang out like every day, even though im dating his best friend..
Same with me and my ex, it was kinda hard not to see him. We dated for over a year so it was kinda hard not o see him at all. Now we’re together about everyday and we’re really close.
My boyfriend is bestfriends with his ex.. so yes they can.
I don’t think it’s entirely impossible to stay friends with your ex cause I’ve done it. My ex-boyfriend and I broke up 7 months ago and I made the mistake of being friends right away. Through the beginning of those 7 months, yes I missed him, yes seeing him made me wanted to get back with him even more and I couldn’t say anything about it. Though sometimes we still act like a couple, and he treat me the way he used to treat me but I had to tell myself that it wasn’t real. It’s been a tough couple of months of crying, jealousy, anger and sadness without him knowing. But I made it through, I managed to remain friends with him and develop a crush on this new guy and it’s great. Though it is kinda sad that nothing is the way it was, I find myself not being able to tell him the things I used to tell him. I’ve always wanted to confront to him that I want to be close friends, but that can’t happen when I’m the only one trying.
Well, i would say it is possible sometimes but not others. When me and my ex first broke up we didn’t exactly break up, we remained close friends. But this year we both went our separate ways and we are completely invisible to each other.
I think it is possible to stay friends after a break up. My ex and I talked everything out we still have feelings left, but we don’t want to get back together. I think it would be harder for me if we didn’t talk, we both still care about each other and want to make sure he’s okay. I would consider him my best friend, he knows everything about me. So yeah you could still be friends with an ex.
Give it at least 6 months of non contact. I think if you try to be friends too soon than you will get your feelings hurt.