Boards
Constant side eye? May be time to find new friends! | Source: Shutterstock
Having to break up with a friend can be–and usually is–a lot harder than dumping some douchebag guy. Chances are you’ve known your pal a long time and have a ton of memories together, so you’re kind of reluctant to let that all go. Even tougher? She probably knows a lot of your secrets, which may make you nervous to do anything to piss her off. What if she tells the whole world your business? What if she turns your other friends against you?
Thing is, you can’t keep palling around with someone just because you’re afraid of what they’ll do if you don’t. It’s kind of exhausting to pretend, isn’t it? And wouldn’t you rather use your time to hang out with people who you actually dig and appreciate (and vice versa)? It sucks, but we all have to do it at some point. Every situation is different, though, so depending on the circumstances, exactly how you go about your break up with a (former) bestie can vary. Read on to learn how to get your life back from a frenemy!
i had a nasty break up with a friend just last year. well, she broke up with me. it was really bad. i did not know what to do because she did not take any of this advice (she was sort of crazy). to this day (with help from other people) i know i did nothing wrong and am inoccent from everything she has accused me of, however, i still hurts to know that a person you cared for did not see how much you helped them with their life and problems. i knew she was not the best person (trust issues and misrepresented many people) but flaws and all, i still wanted to help her out and be the bestest friend to her that i could be. i tried, but she obviously did not see it. i did the ghost thing and it helped. i never see her anymore and i DO wish her luck on her life and future relationships/friendships!
and actually, it is kinda funny that this article came up because i was just getting advice from a friend about what to do about another friend i want to break up with. we have been friends for… 5 pretty well off years, and the first half of it was good. but this past year was not good. she is just not a friend to me anymore! and i do not know how to tell her. she always wants to hang but only on her terms and only what she wants to do. when i tell her no, my excuses are just that: excuses! but in reality, that are ligit/i am tellling the truth explanations for why i can not hang out! hanging out with her has been feeling like a chore/something i am required to do. i never have fun with her when we are together. when i am with her friends as well, she blows me off most of the time. when i am with my friends, she is obnoxious, loud, and controlling, and i can not pay attention to my other friends without her interupting us and having a say in it all.
i have not seen her in like a year and a half, and even though i answer her texts/facebook chats to be nice, i do not intend to continue the friendship (even though she does). it is so hard to explain… when i need her most, she is not there. and am a listener! i listen to her ups and downs and everything… but when i try to talk to her about my ups and downs, she interups and says “well i did this!” friends don’t do that… she is not even a FRIEND! ……..
i will take this advice and try to break off our friendship. it is what I need (and sometimes, what YOU need is most important). it is not healthy to continue this relationship. we are on 2 different paths now, i am more mature, and i have found friends that make me realize that my friendship with this girl is not a friendship at all. it may have been in the past but not anymore.
thank you for this advice, it is exactly what i need right now.