Boards
Um... awkward, much? | Source: ShutterStock
Dear Heather,
My parents have something against me and guys. Like, my mom always gives me this serious look whenever I’m talking to any boy, no matter how old he is. He may even just be my friend and it’s still a problem for them.
There’s this guy I’ve liked for a while, and he finally asked me to be his girlfriend. Of course I said yes, and we’re in a relationship right now. I wish I could enjoy it, but I’m so scared of my parents finding out! How do I get them to understand that I’m not their little girl anymore? How do I tell them I have a boyfriend?
I can totally understand your frustration here. You love and respect your parents, but at the same time, you want to do what makes you happy. Dealing with parents who are a little strict or who see things completely differently than you do can be super difficult – but luckily, not impossible!
First of all, I’m glad you realize that you need to come clean and be honest with your mom and dad. Lying about having a boyfriend and sneaking around behind their backs is only going to lead to a really stressful situation for you and your boo. But don’t just spring this on them – you need to find a time to talk to them calmly. Tell them that you met a really great guy who asked you to be his girlfriend and explain that you really like him and he makes you really happy. Let them know that while you want to respect their wishes and be honest with them, you also really want to be with this guy.
Aw! This is probably how they still see you. | Source: ShutterStock
If they start to freak out, let them know you’re willing to work with them on this. For example, reassure them that it’s not going to affect your schoolwork. Suggest letting them meet him, if you’re comfortable with that. If they lay down a few rules, like giving you a curfew or saying you can’t go out with him on weeknights, agree to them. You can always talk to them about changing these rules in the future – but if you flat-out refuse to do them now, that’s only going to them angry.
Remember to stay calm and mature through the whole convo… and lastly, be gentle with them. I don’t know how old you are or if you have any brothers or sisters, but I’m assuming that the reason your parents don’t want you around guys is because they’re worried about you. They’re probably just trying to protect you and I’m sure they don’t want to see you get hurt in any way. As much as you don’t want them to see you as their little girl, they probably still do, and you having a BF is going to be a big adjustment for them.
Make sure to keep in mind that arguing, yelling or acting stubborn isn’t going to help this situation at all. Hopefully, they’ll have a positive reaction, but if not, just give them some time to get used to the idea. The more mature you act, the better!
take care,
heather
What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com
Is it normal to feel a little distant from your family? Heather advises.
I\’m not easily impressed. . . but that\’s imperssnig me!
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Hey i’m 13 and they think im too young to have bf no what do i do?
depends is it someone that u truely like or do u just want to have a bf . If u tell them he makes u happy they should understand
I know a lad in my year that makes me smile and laughs at my jokes, even if I don’t mean to be funny, but my parents r always saying that this stuff will affect my work at school. I admit in my French we talk and that but I really like him. What can I do???
I know how you feel trust me im the last kid! And if you really like him and he makes you happy your parents should understand from their past love lifes
I have a simlilar issue, where I know that I’m bisexual and one day will date a girl… but my parents don’t believe bisexuality is a thing. They think that you’re either gay or strait, you can’t like both genders. They have nothing against gays.I have no idea how to convince them that this is a real thing, and it’s who I am.
I’m in a somewhat similar situation. The problem is that my parents don’t oppose the idea of me having a boyfriend, so long as they select him themselves. I can’t express to you how many times they’ve seen an attractive young man enter my life, had a five minutes conversation with him, and attempted to force my affections onto him. I’m rather mature, and coming up on 18 in a few months. I’m a good student. I don’t party, drink, smoke, or partake in drugs. I’ve never even had a boyfriend before. I’ve tried to talk to them about dating a good friend of mine, but they won’t hear it. It’s not that he’s a bad person, but they don’t believe that he’s attractive enough for me. They refuse to listen to what I have to say. What do you do if your parents are the stubborn, shallow, and immature side of the discussion?
That sucks, dude I’m sorry :/ That’s so not cool
Thank you. I’ll admit that I’m considering disregarding my parents opinions on my love life. I’m the only person who knows who it is that I need as a partner, and they’ll never admit that they’re wrong about someone. It may very well be the time for me to regain control of my life.