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Chances are, her guy friend is thinking about more than a friendly hug. | Source: Shutterstock
According to a new report, chances are he is. And let’s be real, can you blame him? You’re rad. Problem is, if your guy friend is into you, it sorta complicates things in terms of having a normal platonic friendship with him.
The report suggests that in terms of friendships with the opposite sex, guys are generally more attracted to their gal pals than girls are to their guy friends. As if that weren’t uncomfortable enough, the study also shows that guys tend to overestimate how much you’re attracted to them–if you are at all. So annoying!
It sucks when you think you have a legit platonic connection with a guy… And then he randomly confesses his feelings for you one day or tries to kiss you, or you might catch him checking out your butt or staring at your boobs, because then it makes you wonder: What were his motives all along? Was he only my friend to try getting in my pants? It just raises so many questions that you’d rather not deal with or think about. And it’s worse coming from a pal than some random guy, because with a guy friend, you have a history and actually care about his feelings–so you have to shoot him down carefully to avoid crushing him, but at the same time you’re paranoid from that point on about accidentally leading him on. Urgh!
What’s more, the study shows that guy friends can complicate relationships with dudes you’re actually dating (and if your guy friend has a girlfriend, this goes for her too). The study shows that people who are attracted to their guy or girl friends are less happy in their own relationships. Yikes!
This all isn’t to say you can’t or shouldn’t have guy friends. When everyone knows where they stand in terms of their friendship, having a guy friend is awesome–you have automatic male perspective on things, which is so important and cool–in addition to just being fun to be around in general. Just make sure everyone’s on the same page: Is he into you? Probably. Just make sure he knows you’re not into him. And if you are? Make a move already, girl!
Have you ever had a crush on a guy friend? Has your guy friend ever revealed his feelings for you? Would you ever date your best guy friend? Tell us in the comments!
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Would You Rather?
Would You Rather?
So I’m in second year of university. A year ago, I met a guy and we just clicked. He quickly became my very best guy friend, and soon afterwards, I inevitably began to develop feelings for him. I told a girl I lived with, and without my knowledge or permission, she went to him and told him to be straight and honest with me about what his intentions were–whether to date me or just be my friend. The next morning he asked me to breakfast and told me that he thought we should be friends. I understood and, though I wanted more, I respected his wishes. I thought that he just wasn’t into me, never had been, never would be. So I backed off a little and tried to be the good friend-zoned girl. We remained awesome friends even to this day. But a couple weeks ago, we were hanging out and he randomly brought up something that I said a few months back about how everyone said we would become a couple but we didn’t. He said, and I quote: “That was different….we ALMOST dated.” and I was like “whaaaaa??” but before I could ask him about it, we were interrupted. So for a week I mulled over the conversation and at the end of the week, I asked him to hang out and after an hour or so I brought it up again. I wanted him to clarify what he meant and found out that he had, in fact, had interest in me. He just wasn’t ready for a relationship, what with starting university courses and stuff (neither he nor I are looking for a sexual relationship, so that wasn’t a factor). He thought I knew that he liked me, and he told me that he had almost asked me out. So I asked him how he feels now and he told me that as of right now, he doesn’t feel inclined to date me. He has a ‘crush’ (his words) on another girl.
I can’t say my feelings for him ever went away…I just tried to ignore them and find interest in other guys. I’ve been attracted to and had ‘crushes’ on a couple in the last year, but nothing serious. And since he and I had that talk, I find myself reverting back to those same feelings from a year ago stronger than ever. Knowing that he had interest in me kind of gives me hope that he might again, now that we have started hanging out a lot more again. i really don’t want to waste my time on him, but I can’t deny that I am definitely attracted to him and I know that we would make a good couple. Problem is, now that I know where he stands and he knows where I stand and it’s not exactly at the same place, I don’t know if I should pursue or even acknowledge my feelings or just repress them again, especially now that I have kind of been officially friend zoned on grounds of disinterest.
I really want to kiss him, just once…I’ve only had one boyfriend, for a month 4 years ago, and we never kissed, so I haven’t kissed anyone ever…except one guy in a play last year, but that doesn’t count haha. But since he has already told me about another girl and said that as of right now he doesn’t feel we should date, I’m torn between wanting to move forward and wanting to hold back.
Sigh.