Is Your Guy Friend Into You? Probably.

guy friend is he into you

Chances are, her guy friend is thinking about more than a friendly hug. | Source: Shutterstock

Most of us have a guy friend or two that we’re really tight with–you play video games, grab pizza, watch stupid movies, and ask him for advice on your crush. It’s a pretty sweet arrangement, but admit it–sometimes it can get awkward, like when people assume you’re dating or ask if you guys are an item. So is he into you?

According to a new report, chances are he is. And let’s be real, can you blame him? You’re rad. Problem is, if your guy friend is into you, it sorta complicates things in terms of having a normal platonic friendship with him.

The report suggests that in terms of friendships with the opposite sex, guys are generally more attracted to their gal pals than girls are to their guy friends. As if that weren’t uncomfortable enough, the study also shows that guys tend to overestimate how much you’re attracted to them–if you are at all. So annoying!

It sucks when you think you have a legit platonic connection with a guy… And then he randomly confesses his feelings for you one day or tries to kiss you, or you might catch him checking out your butt or staring at your boobs, because then it makes you wonder: What were his motives all along? Was he only my friend to try getting in my pants? It just raises so many questions that you’d rather not deal with or think about. And it’s worse coming from a pal than some random guy, because with a guy friend, you have a history and actually care about his feelings–so you have to shoot him down carefully to avoid crushing him, but at the same time you’re paranoid from that point on about accidentally leading him on. Urgh!

What’s more, the study shows that guy friends can complicate relationships with dudes you’re actually dating (and if your guy friend has a girlfriend, this goes for her too). The study shows that people who are attracted to their  guy or girl friends are less happy in their own relationships. Yikes!

This all isn’t to say you can’t or shouldn’t have guy friends. When everyone knows where they stand in terms of their friendship, having a guy friend is awesome–you have automatic male perspective on things, which is so important and cool–in addition to just being fun to be around in general. Just make sure everyone’s on the same page: Is he into you? Probably. Just make sure he knows you’re not into him. And if you are? Make a move already, girl!

Have you ever had a crush on a guy friend? Has your guy friend ever revealed his feelings for you? Would you ever date your best guy friend? Tell us in the comments!

Need To Figure Out Friends With Benefits? Here’s How


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72 Comments

  1. avatarMelissa says:

    I have a guy friend who I’ve been friends with for almost 9 years. He has never introduced me as his best friend, but as his good friend. He did mention one year that if we’re not married to another by the age of 24 then we should get married, now the confusing part is that we have not ever kissed or anything further. He tells me through text message that I did break his heart once, but never by voice. He stioed talking to me for about 4 months when I told him Ive change my mind on things, then out of the blue he texts me like if things are back to normal. I am so confused whether he really likes me more than a friend. Someone please give me some feedback.

  2. avatarRebecca says:

    My guy friend asked me out yesterday and I kind of like him but then I thought to my self it would ruin the friendship it was weird bc he kind of trapped me in a corner and asked me out with all his friends around me,,,,,I said I think about it but I really want to say no not bc I don’t like him but bc I really need a guy friend now not a boyfriend and I really want him to be that friend, I had this problem already with another boy and he said he liked me and I said I liked him and now we barely talk bc I started liked someone else and he got jealous so I hope this is the right thing to do

  3. avatarsuzy says:

    I have been friends with this guy for a year now and i almost fell for him and i told him that i love him. And he said, he loves me only as a friend, that was months ago. Now he is asking for a kiss. I asked him, why and he says he dont know.

  4. avatarJor El says:

    Hello ladies,

    Well I am now one of those guys who has told his friend, who is a woman, that I like her, well more like “liked” her. We met a few years ago in the school library and have never really hung out until recently. More so this year than any other. But from the moment I met her it has always been so easy for me to be myself around her. I love making her laugh and I love hearing her laugh, I lover when she talks about herself and shows me pictures of her. I got the chills when she played the piano for me.

    I had never though about her romantically until we recently started hanging out this year. More like I’ve helped her move into her new house and have been over on three separate Sundays so that she could help me with a certain homework.

    But from the time I met her up until that first Sunday we hung out at her place she had always been a woman who I simply considered just a chick friend. After that first day of really hanging out with her, she told me so much about herself. And for the next two weeks I could not get her out of my head. I was always thinking about her. Then I went to her house a second time and my feelings just intensified.

    I don’t see her as a quick lay, never would be able to, I know her too well to even begin to think of her that way.

    We hung out this past weekend pretty much all day. Then we went to eat around 9 pm at night and I told her how I had recently felt about her. And she asked if we could still be friends and I said “Of Course, I’d much rather have you as a friend than not have you at all in my life!”

    But after having read some of y’alls comments about feeling “betrayed” or having similar feelings after a guy friend tells you out of the blue that he has feelings for you, it makes me wonder if she is thinking bad about me.

    I had convinced myself that liking her was not a good idea, but after having told her yesterday all my feelings just came back. I also have no one to really talk to about this that I trust that much. Other than her, but that would probably make a weird conversation! haha :P

    I think I made a mistake in telling her. But man I got it bad for her. If I had the chance to put my arms around her I would never let her go. I think she is a one in a million. And I love her!

    But I guess all I can do is just live on knowing that I can’t be with her.

  5. avatarGeorgia says:

    Hi so my names Georgia I’m 21 years old and for a few months now I’ve been talking to this guy his so lovely ad as we got talking I got to like him more and more, he makes me laugh and we get on so well, his 28, im sort of a jealous person but I don’t mean to be but I think it’s because of my past? .. This guy has 2 girl friends when his with them he stops talking to me and they go cinema and stuff and out to dinner? He says were just friends but close friends but we never go to dinner or cinema or anything like that, we are attracted to each we have bee intimate with each other more than once, he has got some issues he says, but I get the feeling he wants to be with me but is waiting for him to be ready but keeping me there? I also have issues with these girls because there his friends too and say if his doing stuff with them aswell I just want some advice my wads all over the place can someone help me on what to do?

  6. avatarBrittany says:

    I have been falling for my beat guy friend. Especially cause we tell everything to each oher its like I’m falling for him bad. When he talks to other girks I get jealous and he’s single and ready to mindle but I want him. And ik when he’s talking to another girl I don’t talk to him and I say ill leave u with whatever the girls name is. He trys to make me jealous a lot like yeah I went to the mall and some girls where staring at me like wth. I don’t mind staring at you lmfao. He even turned me on one night. But it was so weird cause the next day he was like I didn’t know u were like that and liked me more he said he wants to be with me just wants to meet me first. And one day he got a girlfriend I told him congrats but he wanted to hang out ao I told him no no fare. But I just want him and I want to jump on his face omg. And when he calls me beautiful I feel special but then I say thanka he goea on insta and tells some other girls thwir prwtty so I’m confused can u help me peoples. Should I still be his friend or get distant so none of this happens agaon.

  7. avatarPondering... says:

    I have a guy friend I’ve knOwn for a long time, we have an intimate history but, then stopped because he had to move to another state. He convinced me to move with him out of state. I quit my job and moved 13 hrs away from the only home i know. Recently he started cuddling me again but, hasn’t made a move on me. He has been taking care of me since moving here. Giving me money and anything I need since I don’t have a job yet. He’s been talking to tHis girl but, he keeps saying he needs to stop talking to her then…that she reminds him of me. I feel like he likes me but, why does he talk to this girl? Btw, I know I have strong feelings for him. I Just don’t know when or how to make a move.

    • avatarleftatrandom says:

      It is probably because while the two of you are still in love he is subconsciously having a backup in case the two of you don’t work out, like the first time. Hence the being just like you, having already lived there, and the fresh start factors. He doesn’t even realise he is doing this so don’t be too mad. He is subconsciously insecure the relationship will not work out, like the first time. I’m guessing you started breaking up with him and he just agreed about the long distance thing, or maybe he broke up with you and is hesitant to start a relationship again because he feels strongly for you and does not want to break your heart and maybe he just altogether doesn’t like you in that way anymore but you’re his friend and possibly first love so he cares(sorry for the runon). It sounds to me that you need to have a serious talk with him. Good luck. I hope this helps.

  8. avatarSoManyOptions says:

    SooOOOoo…I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now, and we started out as close friends for months before we figured out we both liked each other. I was one week out of another long term relationship when we started dating. I love him, but I feel like we’ve fallen into a bit of a romantic rut and it’s frustrating.

    It doesn’t help that I still keep in touch with a guy friend from school that I won’t lie, I used to be attracted to when I was still in school. I’ve since let go of those feelings and just see him as a pal, but my boyfriend obviously still feels a little threatened by him. he trusts me enough though to allow me to see him sometimes before I go to work, and even go to an event with him and stay in the same hotel.

    Work is getting worse in that I am developing friendships with 4 different guys who work there, and I really like 2 of them, to the point where I’ve thought about having relationships with them. I feel stuck in that I know I shouldn’t be looking a gift horse in the mouth, my boyfriend is a wonderful guy, and we fit together really well, but I’ve only ever been with one other guy in my life. I tell myself all the time I’m ready to settle down but that hormonal side of me always rears up and says I haven’t even begun to sample this male smorgasbord all around me.

    I’ve read so many articles that say “If you’re looking elsewhere, the relationship is on the wane and you should jump ship” but I can’t do that. At this point, the feelings for my friends and co workers are nothing but wistful what-if’s, and I still fully love my bf.

    Still feels pretty weird and awkward tho, being around them now. I caught one of the guys looking at me from the register, and he did NOT look away when I caught him. But he-and the other guy I like-are such blatant flirts, all the girls are very chummy (touchy-feely) with them both, and it actually makes me a little jealous!

  9. avatarKelly says:

    I’ve known my Guy friend for 5 years and I used to like him then the feelings went away and came backfiring the end of my 7th grade year. I have trouble getting him to be my friend again what do I do? Please help!

  10. avatarAral says:

    I have had this guy friend for 4 years. He was actually my long term boyfriends upstairs neighbor and then we all became friends, We ended up living together. I thought he was gay. He never showed any interest in me. I have always had the problem of not being able to keep friends that are guys. They all try molesting me in the end, My long term boyfriend cheated on me and physically hurt me and my “friend” got involved and called the police and that was that. We lived together for 2 years after that. Never cuddled, kissed, barely even touched. I think i had a sex dream about him after my girlfriend hooked up with him. She told me how big his torch was and the sexy story about their hook up. then i couldn’t get it outa my head. So for over a year, I have been fantasizing about him. Like your article says, i’m sure he’s into me. He got real worked up one day when he came into my bar. My table was apparently talking about me crudely and Duane (my friend) who was sitting next to them came up to me and told me he had to get outa there and he couldn’t take it. I don’t even think he finished his beer. I lost touch with him for several months. Now he is watching doctor Who and so am I and ughhhhhh, that’s just so sexy. MY WHOLE POINT OF WRITING THIS COMMENT IS BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW WHETHER TO JUMP HIM OR NOT. i just want to eat him alive, jump on him, be an animal. But won’t that mess everything up? ahhhhh

    • avatarRebekah says:

      Sooo I have this seemingly bisexual best friend. I’ve had a crush on him for 4 or so years even when I thought he was just gay, but for the past year or so he’s been dwindling between men and women though he mostly talks about guys. We hang out in my room a lot playing xbox or watching TV and he loves to instigate play fights all the time, we both like pain so I’ll usually go for a pressure point with my claws while he typically does the same, but we always laugh while we fight. I try to slip hints which I might be failing at and everyone comments on our “sexual tension” so sometimes I feel like maybe I just wanna get laid and he seems like the prime specimen to test stamina… he buys me smokees and food and takes me on adventures, he can always tell when I feel like shit, and when he sees me cry he sweeps my hair behind my ear and calls me dear or pretty girl….

      BUT HE IS SO CONFUSING!!!!!

  11. avatarMaggie says:

    My best friend (guy) and I became super close in the past year and super close this summer. We hung out almost everyday and so many people assumed we were dating, but this happens to him a lot because he hangs out with a lot of girls (almost all of his close friends are girls). Anyway this fall I stayed in state for college and he went away; he has been texting me almost everyday saying he misses me and sometimes says i love you. i dont really think he actually means it, but its not really something he used to send me. I dont know how to respond because i don’t want to send the wrong message, but if he was one of my girl friends i would say i miss you or i love you too. Im super confused and don’t know what to do any more. Help

    • avatarMichelle says:

      That means he’s into you, he is simply expressing his true feelings for you. Maybe because he couldn’t tell you face to face but has been waiting for you two to be further apart then thought that it’ll be the best time for him to tell you how he feels, and that makes him a coward :D

  12. avatarNina says:

    I have a guy friend. We do everything together so we went to the movies and ended up cuddling and then he kissed me and we text everyday and thenone day he described this girl he described all the features that I had..does he like me?

  13. avatarLily says:

    So, I have a guy friend who quite close maybe(not sure). We used to do some activities together but not anymore due to his busy schedule. I never find it weird bout this kind of relationship till I realize that he wud rather sleep beside me than alone or with others(friend). Is it normal or it means something else?

  14. avatarjeana martinez says:

    ok so i have a guy friend i knew him for 6years his mom was my dad friend and his mom will always babysit me and one time me and my guyfriend was talking and sitting on the couch and he got close to me and put his arm around me and said dont tell nobody about this so then his face got close to my face then we kissed for like 30mins then i went home the next day i went back to his houes and his borther tell me that my guyfriend likes me then i said why his borther said cuz yall kissed and he like it then my guyfriend tell me to go to his room to talk so i did then he gave me a hug then kissed me on my arm then i ask him why did we kissed then he said maybe becaues i like you then i said oh then i tell him my feelings and i said listen i like you the same way u like me but i dont know if we should date cuz i am moveing next week and i wont get to see you so then he said will this give you a idea to go out with me then we started to make out then we dated for a mouth but like a mouth later he texted me and he said we need to break up then i said why then he said i saw somebodythen me and him
    getting into a long fight then i said get out of my life then that was the last time we talked

  15. avatarBriana says:

    So this Friday I was texting my friend Drew, and was telling him about how my brother was hanging out with his friends earlier. He asked me if he could come over, and I told him I didn’t care, although I’d be the only one up because it was late.

    We were sitting on the couch and watching a movie and he started tickling me. It became a game and were play fighting, trying to avoid getting tickled. I noticed he kept getting really close, and he’d put his face close to mine, but I had my face turned. Then somehow he had his arm around me, and then we just sat there and watched the movie together. When it ended, we changed the channel and began watching another show. Then he laid down and I snuggled close to him and we kinda sat there. He gave me a friendly kiss on the cheek and made a cute “mwuah” sound. Then we started kissing, and we made out for like an hour. He kept saying, “I’ll leave at ….” but he’d delay it another 30 minutes. He eventually left at 5am, giving me another kiss goodbye.

    I tried talking to him about it, but he avoided it. I’m a little confused, and I’m not really sure why I kissed him, but I’m pretty sure he wants to do it again because he wants me to sneak into his house.

    • avatarBrie says:

      I think after something like that they avoid the conversation because something like that kinda happened with me and my close guy friend and we talk about a relationship and he said he think it would work out but so far with him in his last year in college maybe something happens. Hopefully you and ur guy friend see where things go cuz it could become a gr8 relationship.

  16. avatarBrie says:

    I totally understand this situation I have a friend I have been close 2 since 11 th grade and I developed feelings for him. He did have a gf so I kept my distance but it seemed liked she noticed that we were really close and she didn’t like that so they broke up. Now I think he feels something more for me because he brings up the topic of future spouses and ask me when I would wanna have kids he also sends me sweet messages and I have met his family but were not together so hopefully now that he is in his last year of college we can put our feelings out there and see where things go

  17. avatarEm says:

    sigh….. its a long story.,. me and the guy im inlove with have been best buds since we both were learning how to walk. we were just friends then. but at his graduation party in june 2011, as soon as I got to his party and I saw him out of no where these strong feelings for him hit me harder than any other thing that has hit me. I told him my feelings for him a whole year and close to 1 month later. it must have beent he hardest thing ive ever had to do. but im glad I did tell. cuz now were closer than ever.buti also keep giving notes and letters and stuff to him because im afraid to loose him. and I want him in my life for the long run. I don’t want him to leave me behind and forget about me after he graduates high school. Hes the bestes thing that I could have eveer want. he understands me like no one else does. and he gets me like no one else does but heres the kick. when I told him I liked him l;ast year over a cell phone call… he told me he will think about it… then It got scared cus he hung up and I didn’t know what his reply would be.. the longest 20 minuytes went by before he answered me. . I thought I would get a better answer thann ui got but I didn’t. he said I think its vbetter off if wqe stay friends. and I respected his answer. but since that day we have gotten tighter. and a lot more hugs have came. and we can tell eachother anything and everything. we trust eachother with everything. anmd we would trade a thing.

  18. avatarKathy says:

    So I’m in second year of university. A year ago, I met a guy and we just clicked. He quickly became my very best guy friend, and soon afterwards, I inevitably began to develop feelings for him. I told a girl I lived with, and without my knowledge or permission, she went to him and told him to be straight and honest with me about what his intentions were–whether to date me or just be my friend. The next morning he asked me to breakfast and told me that he thought we should be friends. I understood and, though I wanted more, I respected his wishes. I thought that he just wasn’t into me, never had been, never would be. So I backed off a little and tried to be the good friend-zoned girl. We remained awesome friends even to this day. But a couple weeks ago, we were hanging out and he randomly brought up something that I said a few months back about how everyone said we would become a couple but we didn’t. He said, and I quote: “That was different….we ALMOST dated.” and I was like “whaaaaa??” but before I could ask him about it, we were interrupted. So for a week I mulled over the conversation and at the end of the week, I asked him to hang out and after an hour or so I brought it up again. I wanted him to clarify what he meant and found out that he had, in fact, had interest in me. He just wasn’t ready for a relationship, what with starting university courses and stuff (neither he nor I are looking for a sexual relationship, so that wasn’t a factor). He thought I knew that he liked me, and he told me that he had almost asked me out. So I asked him how he feels now and he told me that as of right now, he doesn’t feel inclined to date me. He has a ‘crush’ (his words) on another girl.

    I can’t say my feelings for him ever went away…I just tried to ignore them and find interest in other guys. I’ve been attracted to and had ‘crushes’ on a couple in the last year, but nothing serious. And since he and I had that talk, I find myself reverting back to those same feelings from a year ago stronger than ever. Knowing that he had interest in me kind of gives me hope that he might again, now that we have started hanging out a lot more again. i really don’t want to waste my time on him, but I can’t deny that I am definitely attracted to him and I know that we would make a good couple. Problem is, now that I know where he stands and he knows where I stand and it’s not exactly at the same place, I don’t know if I should pursue or even acknowledge my feelings or just repress them again, especially now that I have kind of been officially friend zoned on grounds of disinterest.

    I really want to kiss him, just once…I’ve only had one boyfriend, for a month 4 years ago, and we never kissed, so I haven’t kissed anyone ever…except one guy in a play last year, but that doesn’t count haha. But since he has already told me about another girl and said that as of right now he doesn’t feel we should date, I’m torn between wanting to move forward and wanting to hold back.

    Sigh.

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