Boards
Stop staring!!! | Source: ShutterStock
Dear Ethan,
I have big boobs and a big butt that are really hard to miss. They’re a gift and a curse; they’re a gift because they’re huge, but they’re a curse because I can’t talk to guys without them staring at either of them, even when they’re covered. I don’t want to make my boobs and butt any smaller – so how am I supposed to get guys to focus on my face instead?
I admit that I can’t even count the number of times I’ve told my girlfriend she was insane for thinking her curves were anything but sexy. But after she patiently broke it down for me, I can now see how the persistently ogling eyes of other men can outweigh the benefits of having larger breasts. If you’re lucky enough to possess physical qualities which men find attractive, there are plenty of times you might not want attention from those men.
Why are we such pigs? Well, although personal preferences vary due to culture, big boobs and bottoms on females are generally biological pluses for child rearing, and valuing these traits has been ingrained in much of our DNA since caveman days. So no matter how sensitive a dude may be to the female predicament, nature will almost always trump reason, prompting him to sneak a peek at your assets.
Show dudes that you’re about more than just your curves by contributing to conversations and showing off your brains. You don’t have to say things to impress them, just be yourself. Tell a funny joke, talk about an issue that was brought up in class, discuss a shared interest – whatever you feel comfortable with. Once you start showing off your amazing personality, it’ll be obvious that there’s a lot more to you than just a body to stare at.
No need to hide under baggy sweats | Source: ShutterStock
Although you can’t control where guys are going to look, you don’t have to hide under Spanx or tight undergarments that constrict. You shouldn’t be ashamed of your desirable endowments! Instead — if I may play your straight Tim Gunn for a moment — there are ways to tastefully accommodate your curves without showing them off. Don’t feel like you need to hide your awesome bod for anyone!
But no matter what you decide to wear, the more confident and self-accepting you are, the more guys will pay attention to you for all the right reasons. When you’re able to own your body without apologies, you can more easily focus on being the real you, and guys find that self-assuredness attractive. Just remember that while no dude is immune from stealing a glance now and then, any guy who’s incapable of seeing who you really are isn’t right for you in the first place!
Good luck!
Ethan
Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “What is he thinking?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Ethan, email him at askaguy@gurl.com!
How much do dudes really care about big boobs anyway?
New Quiz!
Bedroom Quiz!
ug dudes are such perves! theres this one guy and he’ll stare at us girls (me 2
)
and he’ll kinda have this smile on and it just feels likes hes gonna rape u!! D:
I’ve been dealing with this problem since I was 12 and its gotten to the point that I’m on a verge of a panic attack whenever I’m stared at.
I have been living with this unfortunate situation since I was about…12. The worst part is I tend to run in very conservative/religious circles. Clothes that look perfectly modest on mostly every other girl always are extremely revealing on me. Guys tend to assume I’m easy, until they actually try.
What if I’m not talking to a guy, he just stares? I’m 14 and not attractive at all with little boobs and that’s the only thing my male classmates would look at. If only I was a guy, that’s why when I grow up, I’m going to scientist to make enough money to get a sex change. and I love girls so I just want to be a guy so bad! what do I do?
When guys of my age stare, it can be flattering … especially when I find the guy MEGA attractive. But I do get a little shuffly and uncomfortable. But when I see OLDER MEN looking, my dear God I want to go and hide in a hovel. It’s such a horrible feeling … it also makes you want to go and have a chemical bath, because it makes you feel that dirty. EW! Back off. I hate it.
I was scrolling down to basically put the same comment but then I saw yours! XD
Shift your upper torso! It works for at least a little bit. Nothing to obvious, just a sudden jerk to bring him (or her) back to reality!
Ha, not a bad tip, I guess. Something I wouldn’t have thought of!
-Ethan
i know after not seeing anyone from my old school for almost 2 years i finally see all my guy friends and the first thing they say is your boobs and butt got huge. when i tell thm, “my eyes are up here.” they say, “no there right there” while pointing at my nipples. why do guys hav to be such perves?
I have a similar problem – but it’s just my boobs that are huge.
I absolutely hate when people stare – it’s pretty obnoxious when the first impression you give is “Whoa, she has huge boobs!”
Because of that, I sort of subconsciously started to slouch, and I don’t buy clothes that accent my waistline so there’s not such a sharp contrast and it’s harder to tell.
That being said, I wish I could just wear whatever I want and not have to worry about double-takes all the time! I hate being judged based on my body, and not my personality.
It sounds like the only think to really do is learn to embrace it, cause things aren’t gonna change for anybody.
Yeah… I’m working on that. But until I get out of high school (with all its little freshman boys that make me feel like a pedophile whenever I walk by), I don’t think I’ll be flaunting it.
Whenever i talk to my best friend he always does that & i’m saying “hey my eyes are up here!” even though i don’t have large boobs they still do that.
Ha, men will be men… Sorry Jada.
-Ethan
Some guys like big boobs, some like small boobs, and some like mid-sized boobs. The size of you boobs just change which guys will look.
So true thankyou Ethan
You’re welcome! Thanks for reading.
-Ethan